


Blankets, jam & other metaphors for love

by Oumy



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Family Feels, Italy, M/M, Other, Single Parents, Slow Burn, the slowest burn to ever burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-02
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-06-02 18:48:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 58,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19447423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oumy/pseuds/Oumy
Summary: Upon her death, Magnus' aunt and only remaining relative makes a final request that he travel to the city of Florence to recover an asset she left for him, but nothing is ever easy, and Magnus finds himself stuck in Italy until further notice. Luckily for him, he makes friends easily, namely an Isabelle Lightwood.You can check outthe Italian translationby the lovelykate_kate





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there beautiful people. I'm back with another Malec fic. The story is mostly written, and despite the Twitter poll you guys voted on (thank you kindly, btw), I couldn't seem to separate it into just 4 or 5 parts without overwhelming the story, so 9 it is :)  
> It's a slow burn, but I hope y'all stick with me till the end. I'll try my best to make it worth it :)
> 
> As per usual, if live tweeting is your jam, please use #OMFLfic so I can keep track of your reactions!
> 
> Happy reading!

There was black, and blue, and some red, and he thought he saw some green as well. The threads were so tiny that they looked almost impossible to separate. How on earth did one manage to make something so small? He couldn’t even imagine what kind of needle would be able to thread that once, let alone so many times as to make the entire tapestry hanging in the window. Magnus didn’t know how long he’d spent staring at it, but he was no less fascinated than when he’d crossed the street to look at it in the first place.

“Can I help you?”, a voice intoned to his right, snapping Magnus of his perusal. The distinctive American accent was jarring after hearing nothing but a melodic lilt for the past few days, and Magnus focused on the woman who was standing in the doorway of the shop, looking at him imploringly. She was stunning. A black maned beauty with an expressive face and dark wide eyes. She wore a chic green sleeveless jumpsuit with gold bangles over her forearms, looking effortlessly stylish. Magnus looked at her and then looked back at the tapestry hanging in the display window of her shop, feeling a bit overwhelmed, a feeling he was getting a bit accustomed to in the past few days.

The woman, clearly misunderstanding his silence for incomprehension, launched into a stream of Italian that he couldn’t begin to decipher. He shook his head to clear the fog out of his brain “Sorry, sorry. I don’t speak Italian. I just…” as he searched for a way to explain his weird behavior, the woman frowned slightly and softened her voice “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. It’s just that I’ve been watching you look at that window for the past ten minutes, and well, as incredibly beautiful it is, I don’t think you were just admiring its general splendor. Are you okay?” 

“Uh, yes. Yeah, I’m fine, thank you. I’m sorry for standing here for so long. I’ll just… I’ll leave” Magnus stammered, feeling like an idiot. He moved to take his chaotic thoughts somewhere else, when the woman called back “Hey”

He turned to see her still standing by the door, worry clear in her gaze “How do you feel about a hot cup of tea?”

“Unless it’s being thrown in my face, I’m usually on good terms with it. Why do you ask?”

She smiled slightly and nodded her head toward the shop “Come on, you look like you could get off your feet, and what kind of person would I be not to help relieve a fellow Yankee?”

Magnus couldn’t help but laugh a little. They probably stuck out like sore thumbs. He couldn’t help but feel a certain ease looking at her smiling face. She looked like someone he would befriend instantly, and he honestly had nothing better to do with his afternoon aside from roaming in the stifling heat, being stuck in this place for the foreseeable near future. He walked back to her and held out a hand “Magnus Bane, and I’ll take you up on that”

The woman straightened, and offered him a blinding smile and a firm grip in return “Isabelle Lightwood. Come on in”

Magnus stepped into the cool interior of the shop, relishing the hint of jasmine in the air, and the low music playing from the speakers. The inside was just as chic as the owner, furnished in off-white, with pops of color in every nook and cranny, little throw pillows and decorative pieces, drawing the eye to the mannequins that circled the room, draped in the most exquisite of dresses. It made for the most fabulous design, and made Magnus want to buy a dress desperately. Maybe he should get one for Maia as a gift for putting up with the mess he was in.

“See something you like?” Isabelle asked him as she rolled a beautiful tea tray next to a seating area in the middle of the shop.

“Plenty. Are these your designs?” Magnus asked, still riveted by the sleek lines and beautiful cuts.

“Yeah, my little pride and joy. Sugar?”, she motioned at his cup.

“One, please”. He turned back to the display window, confused about what the rug was doing hanging there in a dress shop. “So, what’s the story on that?”, he pointed to the beautiful tapestry.

“Ah, the piece that caught your eye for ten minutes straight”, she teased, handing him a cup of steaming tea, and setting a plate of chocolate chip cookies on the table next to him. “It was a gift from a dear friend. She made it herself”

“Wow, the details on it are gorgeous. It reminded me of someone’s work, by the way. That’s why I got stuck on it”

“Oh, that makes sense, though I doubt it would be Marla’s. She only ever crocheted as a hobby”

The name caused Magnus’ heart to squeeze painfully in his chest, even as he almost spilt the tea all over his shirt in astonishment.

“Did you say Marla?”

“Yes, this wonderful old lady that owned the bookshop a few doors down. She passed away a few weeks ago, sadly. A beautiful soul”

Magnus put down the cup lest his sweaty hands drop it, and cleared his throat “Small world, it seems. We were thinking of the same person, then. She used to make the same pattern into napkins when I was a kid”

Isabelle’s eyes lightened as her entire face softened in memory “You knew Marla”

The words burnt on his tongue as they left “Yeah, she was my aunt. She’s the reason I’m here, actually”

Isabelle scrunched her nose in thought, then her eyes widened in recognition “The nephew. You’re the nephew, of course. I thought your name sounded familiar. You’re the guy that lives in New York, and has his own business, right?”

Magnus felt taken aback “She talked about me?”

Isabelle snorted, reaching for a cookie, then thinking better of it, and grabbing two “Did she ever? She raved about you like a celebrity. She was so proud of you”

Magnus could feel moisture gathering in the corners of his eyes, further made worse by the long tiring morning he’d had. He tried to blink look away to divert them, but Isabelle was too quick. She immediately dropped the cookie back to the plate, which was a travesty, and softened her tone into a whisper “Hey, I’m sorry, for your loss and for being insensitive about it. I tend to cope with death in ways that don’t fit everyone”

Magnus was shaking his head before she was even done talking “No, no, that’s not it at all. I’m glad you have good memories of her. It’s just that… You tell me that she spoke of me often, when I hadn’t even seen her for the past few years. She kept inviting me to come to Florence, but I kept putting it off, and I guess, I feel robbed of a goodbye”. He offered her a gentle smile, because she really hadn’t done anything wrong.

Aunt Marla had asked him to come see her every summer for the past ten years, and each year, he got too busy with life to bother making the long trip. She never complained. God knew his aunt was too optimistic about life to nag about much, but he’d still felt like a heel every single time. School then work, then starting his own agency had taken up so much that a vacation had felt like a pipe dream. Even now, he couldn’t help but feel like he was on borrowed time.

Isabelle smile back, holding out the cookie plate in apology, and Magnus couldn’t help but chuckle. She was so sweet. He bit into a gooey fudgy cookie and barely held back the moan of delight. Isabelle smiled at his orgasmic expression and laughed “They’re good, aren’t they?”

Manners be damned, he spoke through flakey crumbs of chocolaty goodness “So good”

They chatted a bit about his aunt and what she was like, Isabelle reassuring him that she had remained a happy go-lucky soul until the very end. Marla had gone to sleep one night and hadn’t awakened, peacefully passing in her little cottage a few miles on the outskirts of the city. Apparently, she was so punctual about her bookshop hours that in the ten years she’d owned the place, she had never once been late to open. The fellow shop owners had known immediately that something was amiss. From what Isabelle described, his aunt had found her own home away from home, and Magnus was glad that she had formed her own family, made her own life. He just slightly regretted not having been part of it. He supposed that was his own fault, but after all, she had been his only living relative, and he could recognize that bitter taste of regret coating his insides.

“So, are you here to get her things in order or something? I thought she had everything already planned out. The shop was cleared out a week ago”, Isabelle asked hesitantly, clearly wary that she might trigger another crying jag. But she needn’t have, because Magnus was more flabbergasted by the turn of events than sad.

“Well, that’s when things get weird, actually”, he laughed. “She did have her things in order. Her cottage was sold, her bookshop too. The money went to a charity she supported. Except, in her will, she left me one final asset”

Isabelle was hanging on his words, and the cookie plate was running low “What was it? You said it was weird, what was it? Oh God, don’t let it be something kinky. I’m not sure I can handle thinking of Marla that way”. She looked off, and seemed to turn green at the gills “Too late”, she whispered in misery. Magnus chuckled, beyond entertained with her theatrics. “Actually, I don’t know”

“Huh?”

“I really don’t know”, he repeated. “All the will said is that the asset was in a safety deposit box in a bank here in Florence. Apparently, the bank had no instructions about the will in their documents beyond the fact that it was in my name, so they refused to hand the contents of the box to her lawyer. Hence, me coming here”

Isabelle groaned “Ugh, corporate red tape is the worst. But, did you go to the bank yet? What did they say?”

Magnus could feel the frustration bubble within him again, and took a sip of his lukewarm tea to assuage it “That’s the thing. I came all the way over here, just for them to tell me that the box needs a password to open, and I happen to have none”

Isabelle, fully immersed in his story by now, exclaimed in surprise “But that makes no sense. Didn’t Marla mention this in her will?”

“Nope, nothing. I’ve been racking my brain trying to think of something she might’ve said or sent in one of her letters, but I have nothing. And now the bank won’t open the box for me, and I’m stuck”

“So, what are you going to do?”

Magnus shrugged, feeling the bone deep exhaustion of the past few days settle onto his shoulders “I don’t really know. A part of me wants to drop it and go back home, but it was her last request. I can’t just let it go”. He put his saucer on the table, and warily scrubbed his hands over his face “My lawyer is trying to get a hold of the executioner of the will to see if he can do something, so for now, I’m waiting”

Isabelle made a noise of sympathy and said “What a mess. I’m sorry you have to deal with that”

Just then, an older gentleman walked into the shop, the little bell above the door chiming slightly as he pushed it open. He saw the both of them sitting on the sofa and stopped in the entry, looking between them hesitantly. Isabelle, seemingly knowing what the man was after, laughed slightly and started talking in Italian, a fluent melodic lilt to her voice that was no different than all the accents he’d heard in the last three days he’d been there. She reached into the lower shelf on her little tea tray and uncovered a basket of chocolate chip cookies, just like the ones they had just finished decimating, handing it to the older gentleman, who blushed prettily and replied to her words, kissing her on the cheek, and nodding to him slightly, before disappearing out the door, a basket of cookies richer. Isabelle turned to him, and sheepishly apologized “Sorry, Lorenzo owns the antiques store across the square and has a thing for my mom’s cookies. She makes him a batch every week”

“Did you grow up here?”, Magnus asked.

“No, I came to Italy to study fashion in Milan. I was planning to go back home to New York and use my degree to rise through the ranks at Vogue magazine. I wanted to be the next Carrie Bradshaw”, Isabelle teased, laughing to herself in nostalgy.

“What changed?”, Magnus asked, noticing the little sad smile that came over her face at the inquiry.

“Life”, she replied simply, followed by “My family moved here, and well, I realized that I could never be happy working in a glass office all day. We moved to Florence and never looked back”

“That’s quite the change of pace, I’d say”

She shrugged slightly “It’s worth it. We’ve made our own home here, and for the most part, we’re happy”

Magnus envied her the feeling. It must be nice feeling like you’re surrounded by your tribe. For most of his life, he’d felt like an outsider looking at the world through a one-way looking glass. As someone who’d just said goodbye to the only relative that he had, that hit very close to home, not that he didn’t consider Maia and Cat his family, but the way she talked about hers caused a slight pang in the region of his heart.

“So, Magnus”, she started, shaking herself from her reverie, “How come you’re here alone?”

The question could have seemed a bit too personal for someone he’d just met, but there was something about Isabelle that made you instantly fall under her charm, as if you’ve been friends for years, instead of mere acquaintances for an hour. He didn’t take offense to her blunt question. She looked like the person that didn’t waste time with pleasantries much.

“I don’t have anyone who’d come with me. My business partner is currently handling everything back at the office, so I can be here”

“No significant other to take a trip with you to Italy? No girlfriend, boyfriend?”

Magnus couldn’t help the laugh that burst out of him at the squinty-eyed look she was giving him. He’d seen that look one too many times on Maia’s face before he found himself being roped into a catastrophic blind date. If she thought she was being subtle with her questions, she had another thing coming. He shook his head in mock disapproval at her tactics, and her eyes widened slightly before she stammered “Oh my God, I didn’t mean to imply… I- Don’t get me wrong, you’re gorgeous, but I- I wasn’t trying to hit on you or anything”

The furious blush that rose on her cheeks was enough to dissuade Magnus from teasing her more, and he laughed wholeheartedly “No, I didn’t think that. It’s just that, my best friend gets the same look on her face, when she’s playing matchmaker”

Isabelle raised an offended hand to her sternum and gasped “I would never”. Magnus had his suspicions but kept quiet, until she said “So, do you?”

He laughed again, thanking whatever plan in the cosmos had led him to her shop window on this sunny afternoon. He hadn’t laughed this much in a while “No, no girlfriend, or boyfriend. I’m single and not at all looking to mingle”

That wasn’t necessarily true, Magnus had to admit to himself. More and more lately, he found himself searching for something intangible, an unnamable feeling of belonging that was glaringly absent from every date or flirtatious interaction he had with someone. He was so over the dating, and the trying and the whole starting from scratch every time a blossoming relationship crumbled into ashes.

Isabelle took his answer at face value, nodding in understanding and changed the subject completely, asking him about his agency and what kind of marketing they did. He was all too glad to leave the subject behind, taking the chance to tell her about some fun accounts he’d had to work on in the past year, and even showing her some material that had made it into TV campaigns. As the afternoon passed by and the tea was replaced by another pot, Magnus finally came to notice the glaring lack of customers. Not wanting to offend Isabelle, he broached the subject hesitantly “It’s an awfully quiet afternoon, isn’t it?”

Izzy raised her head from his phone screen where she’d been watching an ad he did for the Morgenstern toilet paper company, and looked at him in confusion. Magnus motioned around the shop, and she smiled a bit “Oh, an early afternoon is never busy in Italy. Afternoon naps are a matter of national security here”, she teased, “Plus, I just came by to give Lorenzo his cookies because my mom wouldn’t stop nagging about it, and get some papers”

Magnus felt like a heel “And I kept you here for hours. I’m sorry, Izzy”

“Nonsense, I made a friend. Plus, this is way better than my plans of rubbing my sister-in-law’s feet while she chomped on chocolate and complained about my brother”

He must’ve had a weird expression on his face because she shrugged and said “She’s pregnant”, like that was enough to explain the entire thing. It didn’t, but Magnus was not delving into that!

“Do you have any plans for the evening?”, she asked, a hopeful tone to her words.

“Not really”, Magnus answered, “I might get room service then crash early”

Isabelle wrinkled her nose and looked at him like he had personally offended her “That is a sad existence. Too sad for my little heart to handle. How about you come over for dinner? My mom’s a mean cook”

“Oh, no, I couldn’t impose like that. I’m fine”

She put her hand on his, and squeezed gently “I insist, really. My family’s crazy but we love company”

Magnus really didn’t want to spend another night in his hotel room, looking at the ceiling as he contemplated everything that he did wrong up until that point in his life, and a night of good food and good company would be quite the cure for his blues. His mind made up; he was about to agree to Isabelle’s offer when he caught the look in her eye. It was the same one she’d gotten asking him about his relationship status. Oh Dear! “Isabelle, please tell me this is just a dinner invitation?”

“What else could it be?”, Isabelle asked, sounding genuinely confused, and Magnus guessed he was just being paranoid, so he nodded. “Fine, I’ll take you up on that”

Isabelle squealed and clapped her hands together, and Magnus could swear that she muttered under her breath an excited “He’s going to love you”. He arched a brow at her, and she sheepishly shrugged and said “What?”, doe eyes wide and innocent.

Magnus heaved a groan and hung his head. What had he gotten himself into?

* * *

Magnus paid the cab driver, still unsure about what exactly he was getting into. He’d given him the piece of paper that Isabelle had written with directions, and the cabbie had looked confident in his ability to navigate, but the farther the city limits got, the more apprehensive Magnus got. It wasn’t that it wasn’t beautiful. On the contrary, the winding tiny road was surrounded by greenery, the sun low in the sky, ready to be tucked in for the night, and the cool summer breeze drifting through the open window like a montage from a 50’s movie, but the thing Magnus had noticed was severely lacking, was buildings. In fact, even now, standing at the spot where the cab had made a U-turn and holed back to the city, he still saw no signs of civilization, which sucked because in his surprise earlier, he’d forgotten to get Isabelle’s phone number. From where he stood, a winding dirt road begun, with nothing but a sign hanging, pointing towards wherever the road took, a slashing Italic font proclaiming it to be “ _Vigna Garroway_ ”.

The marketer in him was twitchy. _The font was too on the nose, guys!_ With no other course of action, he started walking up the road, carefully making his way through the small rocks that littered the ground, thankfully shaded by big beautiful trees, the golden orange tinted sun rays playing peekaboo as they tried to pierce the dense shrubbery and have at him. The circumstances that may have led him to this place were anything but savory, but as Magnus inhaled a deep breath of fresh earthy air, being serenaded by birds that were settling in for the evening, saying their various goodnights, Magnus finally let himself enjoy the moment for what it was, a trip through a slice of heaven on Earth. Places like these were only ever plausible in documentaries and picturesque postcards. Yet, there he was, breathing in the Tuscany air on a summer day.

A few minutes down the road, Magnus could finally see stone walls, and hear noises other than those hiding in the trees. He walked faster, hoping that he had the right address, and found himself in the middle of some bustle and haste as people walked by him, yelling things at each other in Italian, pointing back at a scene straight out of his most beautiful dreams. Rows upon rows of grapevines, stretching as far as the eye could see, green neat lines adorned in dark clumps that hanged low, supported by beams staked to the ground. Workers ran through the rows, picking grapes at an impressive speed, wooden crates being filled and quickly transferred to others in an organized chain that looked like a synchronized dance. Men and women of various ages, spread out through the lines of green. The air was strife with excitement, people smiling amidst the yelling and running, gathering the fruit like a prized treasure and fussing over it every time another shrub was picked off the vine. Magnus could’ve stayed there forever, watching the moment unfold with the same kind of infectious wonder permeating the place. Nobody paid him any heed, people bustling about as he stood there, an obvious intruder on the familiarity of the scene, until a voice sounded from behind him, deep and husky “Can I help you?”

Magnus turned around to see a vision walk out of the rows of grapevines, a tall dark-haired man that looked like he should grace the cover of GQ Magazine. Hazel eyes that were reflecting the gold of the setting sun, messy dark brown locks, and a rough shadow gracing his jawline, he was wearing a white button-down that was surprisingly clean in the earthy muddy mess of their surroundings, sleeves rolled up to show impressive forearms, and Magnus could feel his mouth drying out, because who didn’t appreciate a little forearm action on a late afternoon? Blue jeans that were molded to his body, and brown leather boots that came up slightly above his ankle complemented the look that had Magnus seriously considering adding cowboy kink to his repertoire.

The man was looking at him, obviously waiting for an answer to his question, and Magnus could feel his brain scramble to come up with a response that would showcase his intellect and his wit and make this complete stranger think he was the coolest person he’d ever met, so naturally, what came out of his mouth was “Hein?”

_Brilliant! Absolutely genius! How he didn’t write sonnets for a living, he will never know!_

The man, who clearly had the patience of a saint, or was accustomed to dealing with clinically dead people, repeated the question, even going as far as saying it in a broken, immensely endearing Italian, from what Magnus could gather. Magnus’ brain finally decided to make a late comeback then, and he burst out with a “Hi, sorry. I’m looking for Isabelle. Isabelle Lightwood?”

The man looked him over once more, and then asked, his voice still maintaining the same soothing calm timbre “Can I ask what this is about?”

Magnus started to feel self-conscious, standing there in a foreign place, feeling like he was completely out of his depth “I- I was invited to dinner. I’m Magnus. She invited me for dinner. I couldn’t come with her because I wanted to go to the hotel first and yeah…”, he realized that he was rambling, and prayed that someone would drop a crate of grapes just so those laser-focused eyes would divert their attention for a second. Maybe he would be able to draw breath then? Not likely, but worth a shot.

His rambling explanation was met by a soft smile as the man’s whole demeanor changed, turning unassuming. He reached out a hand and said “I’m Alec, Isabelle’s brother, and you’re in the wrong place”

Even as his brain started a low chant of “ _Please let this be the guy Isabelle wants to set me up with! Please, let it be him_ ”, he frowned and replied “Isabelle gave me directions, the cab dropped me off at the main road, and this is the only path I found”

“No, I know. Sorry, that came out wrong”, Alec chuckled, and Magnus could feel the warmth of it spread through his limbs. God, he was pretty!

“I mean”, Alec started, unaware that Magnus was halfway to La La land, “that you are in the right place, just the wrong property. You have to go through that little gate over there”, he motioned to a wrought iron fence door that was propped open, “and get to the main house. Izzy should’ve clarified, I guess”

Magnus looked at the little gate, then back at Alec feeling weird about going into strangers’ house like that. Alec could probably read the discomfort on his face because he laughed again and said “Want me to walk you over?”

Magnus’ little sigh of relief was probably louder than it needed to be as he nodded his head enthusiastically “Yes, yes, I would appreciate that very much. Thank you”

“Sure”, Alec said good-naturedly, turning to yell at a guy who was stacking crates into the back of a truck “Si, I’ll be right back”

The guy nodded, taking off his cap to rub his head “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m just showing Magnus here the main house”

Simon looked at him with an infectious smile and waved his cap enthusiastically, causing Magnus to laugh, and Alec just shook his head and told him in a whisper “Don’t be alarmed. He’s like an overeager puppy, that’s all”

“No, no, he seems delightful”, Magnus reassured him.

They took off towards the gate, Magnus lengthening his strides to match Alec’s long ones.

“So”, Alec started, his hands stuffed into his pockets as he kicked a few stray rocks around. “Do you live in the city?”

Magnus chuckled slightly “No, I live in New York. I’m only here for some business”, and Magnus thought he’d imagined it, but Alec’s shoulders seemed to draw up at that, his face going carefully blank. He gave him a sideways smile that didn’t reach his eyes much “How are you liking Italy so far?”

“I haven’t really seen much of it, but the views are really good”. It was only after the words left his mouth that he realized he’d said them looking straight into Alec’s eyes, and the blush that was rising on the man’s neck seemed to be aware of that. He looked away and cleared his throat, nodding slightly as he tried to salvage the moment “Yeah, it’s a beautiful country, and you’re in luck. The greenery is especially impressive this time of year”

Magnus just mumbled something in agreement, unwilling to embarrass himself further. They crossed the gate and turned left, and Magnus caught his breath at the beautiful house that stretched across the scenery. It was a beautiful villa in warm butternut tones, rooftops laid in rich brown brick, vines climbing the walls of the estate in different areas, making the place look like it had sprung from the ground, nature still clinging to it like a protective mother. Shaded patios and large bay windows brought the whole feel of the place together, making Magnus feel instantly at home. It looked like a fairy tale, and he half-expected music to start playing from somewhere to complete the scene. Slightly smaller buildings were scattered about, surrounding the property, and green lawns and brick roads lining the path to the front door. He hadn’t realized he’d stopped until Alec looked back and saw him gazing up at the place in awe. A small embarrassed smile rose to his lips, and he rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously “It’s something, isn’t it?”, he said, motioning to the statuesque house in front of them.

Magnus simply nodded and thought back on his childhood, and how warm and loving it would’ve felt to grow up in a place like this. He hadn’t even set foot inside, and he already knew the place would feel like a warm hug on a cold snowy day. “It looks like a great place to raise children”, he said and instantly wanted to take the words back, because in the last five minutes since he met this guy, he had stammered like an idiot, insinuated that he was a nice view and talked about raising children. Proposing to the guy would look less weird right then.

Alec was looking at him, a small frown notched between his brows as he contemplated Magnus thoughtfully, then he quietly said “I said the same thing the first time I saw it”

He set off for the door then, and Magnus followed, feeling something churn a bit in the region of his stomach. They reached the front door that was propped open, and Alec called in “Mom, there’s someone here for Iz”

“I’m in the kitchen, sweetheart”, a cheerful voice called back, and Alec looked at him with a smile. He motioned him inside and sheepishly confessed “This is as far as I go. Strict house rules”, he motioned to his muddy boots, and continued “And I don’t want to get murdered before dinner”.

A laugh burst out of Magnus. “Well, I wouldn’t want you to die just to deliver me to the kitchen, I’m sure I can find my way”

Alec laughed and ominously said “Just follow the voices”. Magnus’ wary expression at that seemed to amuse him immensely because he laughed harder and told him “Straight through then to the left”

They stood there looking at each other, the remnants of their smiles still unfaded from their lips, and Magnus could feel a slight electricity course under his skin. He knew attraction when he felt it, but the word seemed lacking for the tightening of his chest right then.

Alec seemed to snap out of the haze that had entranced them faster, because he tilted his head and said “It was nice meeting you, Magnus”, already walking back the way they’d come. Shivers broke on Magnus’ skin at his name being called in that rough husky timbre, and he looked at the retreating figure. “Likewise, Alexander”. Alec’s smile went wider at that, and he disappeared through the gate into the mayhem awaiting him.

Magnus stayed there looking after him, feeling a restless sort of energy within. He didn’t realize he’d been staring at the empty space where Alec had disappeared until a cheerful voice said from behind him “There you are. You must be Magnus”

He turned to see a smiling face emanating so much warmth. The woman looked like a slightly older version of Isabelle, crow’s feet stretching the corners of her eyes, and laugh lines adorning her cheeks. Age had been nothing but gracious to her because upon first inspection, Magnus would not believe that this woman had given birth to the two Lightwoods he’d met this afternoon.

“I am. Thank you for inviting me into your home, Mrs. Lightwood”, he said, reaching a hand that was swatted away only to be replaced by arms that enveloped him in the tightest warmest hug “Call me Maryse, and you are most welcome. I’m sorry for your loss”

“Thank you”, he ground out as her arms squeezed him affectionately.

She reared back and said “Isabelle hasn’t stopped chattering about you since she got home. Come on in”

Magnus followed her, looking back covertly at the iron gate for some reason. The views really were something in Italy.

Maryse led him through a beautiful tiled floor into a huge kitchen. It looked like an explosion of dishes and utensils, strewn about in every direction, and Maryse must’ve seen his horrified expression because she laughed and said “I cook, they clean. Doesn’t mean I have to make it easy for them” and the spark in her eye let him know that he had just found another kindred spirit. Maryse set him up with a glass of wine to relax while she finished dinner, and she didn’t waste a moment of that time, quizzing him on his job and life back in New York, Maia and Cat and if he had a special someone in his life. He answered every question good naturedly, as she reminded him of his own mom, that inquisitive glint in her eye that every mother acquired upon meeting anyone in the same age group as her children. Clamoring footsteps on the staircase and the squeal of a child alerted him to a new arrival as a little girl came running into the kitchen, long light brown hair flying about everywhere, wearing a pretty green dress, bare feet slapping against the tiles. She was being chased by Isabelle, who had changed into a pastel pink summer dress and was making hungry noises as she ran after the child, who giggled like windchimes as she zigzagged, trying to escape Izzy’s grabby hands. As she came near the stove, Maryse just raised a finger and said “No” in a tone that belied a routine that frequently occurred, and the girl came up short, stopping at Maryse’ feet, where Isabelle finally got a hold of her and started tickling her mercilessly, provoking another peel of infectious laughter and giggling.

It was only then that Isabelle noticed him sitting at the kitchen table, and smiled big “You came”. The little girl, finally noticing him, turned wide inquisitive eyes his way. She studied him with a furrowed brow, before she said in a sweet curious voice “Who are you?”

Isabelle laughed and shook her a little, muttering “Behave”, then introduced him “Magnus, meet my little fiend of a niece, Lena. Len, this is Magnus. He’s my friend who’s visiting from New York”

The second the city was out of her aunt’s mouth; Lena’s eyes went comically wide and she practically skipped to take a seat next to him at the table and said “You’re from New York?”

“Um, yeah”, Magnus replied hesitantly, looking up at Maryse and Isabelle, who were both looking at the little girl fondly, as if this were a normal occurrence. Lena grabbed hold of his arm and asked in a whisper, as if they were conspiring together on some big secret “Does it really snow there a lot?”

Magnus chuckled at the question “Yeah, winter is really brutal”

“Have you ever been on top of the Empire State building?”

“Yes”

“Does it really look like that movie?”, her little brows notched as she tried to find the title, then she turned to Izzy and asked “Aunt Izzy, what’s the name of that movie we watched the other day? The one with the lady who hears that story on the radio?”

“Uh, Sleepless in Seattle?”

“Yeah, that one”, she told Magnus in triumph. “Does it really look like that?”

Magnus stifled the urge to laugh at her exuberance. He didn’t want her to think he was mocking her. “It really does”

“So cool”, she whispered in awe, then she leaned in close and said “Have you ever seen the Statue of Liberty up close?” and Magnus really couldn’t stop himself from laughing then. She was so adorable with her tourist-based knowledge of New York. He wanted to tell her that all he knew of his city was congested sidewalks and heady traffic, musty smelling subway stations and food carts at every street corner, but he doubted a child had much use for trivial things like that. She clearly based all her knowledge of the city on movies, but he was about to disappoint her “Want to know a secret?” he asked, adopting her same secretive tone.

Lena nodded enthusiastically. “I’ve never been to the Statue of Liberty”, he replied in chagrin, and she slumped in her chair and pouted “Well, that sucks”

“Lena”, Maryse warned, giving her the stink eye, while Isabelle sat across from them and told Magnus “Lena here hates that we’re all from there while she doesn’t remember it at all. She’s a devoted New Yorker even from across the sea”, she shared with a smile.

“How long have you lived here?”

“Seven years and counting. Lena was merely a year old when we moved” Maryse replied, a sudden sadness coming over her face. She shook herself out of it, and turned to Lena “Can you call the troops in for dinner, please?”

Lena bounced out of her seat with so much energy, her little elbow touched Magnus’ wine glass, sending it flying over him. Unfortunately for him, the glass was still half full. Maryse and Isabelle exclaimed, rushing forward with apologies and napkins to mop up the mess, while Magnus assured them that it wasn’t a big deal. Although nobody had blamed the little girl for the mishap, tears had gathered in her eyes as she looked at the spilled wine, then she raised those tear-stained green jewels at Magnus, punching him straight in the gut, and whispered “I’m sorry”

Magnus dropped the napkin he was using to wipe at the stain, and kneeled by her “Hey, nothing happened. It’s just a shirt, and you didn’t do anything wrong, okay?”

Lena rubbed at her eye, her other hand fisting in her dress as she looked at him, still clearly upset, and Magnus felt a wave of tenderness for the adorable girl “When I was a little boy”, he started slowly to make sure he kept her attention, “my mom would tell me that whenever something upset me, I would rub the underside of my nose, like this”, he did the motion comically, and Lena let out a tiny giggle, “And no matter how much time has passed, I find myself always doing the same thing, whenever I get sad or upset about something”. Those jade eyes were looking at him curiously, and at least they no longer looked on the verge of tears. He leaned closer to her and asked “Did I rub my nose just now, when that glass toppled over?”

The little girl considered thoughtfully, then shook her head “See? If I had been upset, I would have”

“I guess”, she muttered sullenly, looking at her bare feet, and Magnus chuckled at her impishness.

“Magnus isn’t mad you, sweetheart. Go call your dad and the rest in, okay? And wear some shoes first” Izzy yelled after her as she dashed away to do her bidding.

“Thanks for being cool about this, and I’m sorry again about your shirt” she said to him, and he waved away her apology, rubbing at the stain again “Can you please show me to a bathroom?”

“I’ll do you one better. Come on”. Isabelle led him down another hallway, to a closed door at the end of it. She opened the door to show a bedroom furnished in elegant masculine tones. Cobalt blue and rich brown. She opened a closet and motioned for him to grab whatever shirt he wanted, then showed him where the private bathroom was.

“Take your time. The guys usually take forever to get the grime off them enough to eat anyway”, she shared, sashaying back where she came.

“Wait, are you sure it’s okay for me to use this stuff?”

Isabelle waved her hand dismissively “He won’t even notice anything’s missing. It’s fine really”

It wasn’t until he put on the shirt that a distinctive smell of earth and sunshine hit him, and his tired overwrought brain was able to connect the dots.

“ _my plans of rubbing my sister-in-law’s feet_ ” _“She’s pregnant”_

“ _I’m Alec, Isabelle’s brother_ ”

“ _Magnus, meet my little fiend of a niece, Lena_ ”

Magnus had to take a seat at the edge of the bed to accommodate his shaking knees. Dammit, when would he learn not to let his fancies run away with him? The butterflies that had taken flight in his stomach came to a screeching halt, dropping dead from the force of his disappointment, a disappointment that felt entirely inadequate when compared to the actual duration he’d spent with the guy, the whole five minutes of it. As he sat there, wearing Alec’s shirt, surrounded by his entrancing smell, Magnus knew that the view would be all he got, because Alec Lightwood was a married man, and a father.


	2. Chapter 2

Alec walked into the house; Lena propped on his shoulders as she drummed on his head to a beat that only she was privy to. He had to get the girl into some instrument, or it sounded like she was going to be as tone deaf as her aunt. She had come streaking out of the house like it was on fire, scaring the shit out of him with her teary eyes and sniffles. Apparently, she’d spilt some wine on their new addition to dinner, and was feeling horrible about it, _your typical Lightwood reaction to trivial things!_

Speaking of their guest, Alec skimmed his eyes over the people congregated at the kitchen, hoping his eye will catch on those soulful eyes again. How Alec had been able to construct coherent thoughts, let alone form actual words when he’d seen Magnus was beyond him. The guy looked like he’d walked off the runway straight into their little dirt road. Beautiful chic attire and bejeweled fingers, Kohl-lined eyes and blue highlights. He looked the kind of shiny that Alec hadn’t seen in a while, an effervescent energy to him that shined through those dark beautiful eyes.

He looked around, but the man was nowhere to be found. He was about to ask about him, when his mother exclaimed “Food on the table in five minutes, and I know you’re not sitting for dinner looking like that, Alec”

He looked down at his pants that were smudged with mud stains, then up at his daughter who was giggling “Lena, your grandma is a meanie”. She laughed harder, the sound a balm to his soul. He put her down, and moved to go change his clothes when his mother started “Oh, wait-“

He turned to see her rubbing at her arm while Isabelle stood next to her, beaming from ear to ear. She shooed him away “Hurry, I’m starving and I’m not waiting for you”

Knowing Isabelle could and would eat him out of the house, he hurried into his bedroom, already popping open the buttons of his shirt. It wasn’t until he closed the door behind him that he heard the water running in his bathroom. He groaned aloud. Simon and his weird aversion to using the main bathroom were going to be the death of him one day. He walked into the bathroom, a curse already poised on his lips when he caught sight of the actual occupant of the room.

Magnus was standing at the sink, clad in a white t-shirt that should not have looked that good on him, biceps bulging enticingly. He was rinsing a shirt that looked like the one he’d been wearing when they met earlier, and startled when Alec propped open the door.

“Sorry, I thought it was someone else”, Alec started, rubbing at the back of his neck. Weirdly enough, Magnus didn’t answer, merely looked somewhere around Alec’s chest, seeming completely frozen, and Alec remembered that his shirt was open. Oh God, he probably looked insane, barging in on the guy in an open shirt like some kind of wild country beast. He cleared his throat and moved from side to side, no point in buttoning the shirt up when the guy had already seen him.

Magnus shook his head slightly, and spoke in an embarrassed tone “Sorry, I didn’t know it was your room. I spilt some wine on my shirt and Isabelle told me to grab something from the closet. I was just rinsing my clothes so the stain doesn’t get worse”

The fact that Magnus had ample opportunity to throw Lena under the bus, or just seem disgruntled about a kid spilling something on his precious shirt did not escape Alec’s notice, and he found himself softening even more towards the man, not that he’d thought him to be evil or anything, but anyone who did good by his daughter scored several points in his book.

“It’s fine. Take whatever you need. I think that shirt suits you better than it ever did me, to be honest”

_Christ, was that comment really necessary, Alec?_ It had been so long since he had attempted anything even close to flattery or flirting that he felt like a newborn calf, stumbling around, saying the weirdest most uncomfortable things. That didn’t mean he was flirting with Magnus. No, he was definitely not! He knew nothing about the guy. For all he knew, Magnus could be a straight married guy with a dozen little kids running around. He was just being his usual embarrassing self around a cute guy. If Lydia could see him now, she’d be on the floor clutching her stomach from laughing so hard. She always did tell him that he was a hopeless flirt.

Magnus blushed and fidgeted slightly, his hand tightening around the wet shirt in his hand as he muttered a quiet “Thanks”, and Alec reached for the shirt, just to have something to do with his hands “Here, let me put that in the wash. It’ll be dry by the time dinner is over”

“Oh, Uh, sure, thank you. That’ll be great”

Alec nodded and relieved him of it, then added “And hey, sorry about the wine. Len gets excited about stuff and rarely focuses on her surroundings”

Magnus just chuckled and rubbed a hand over his face “Would all of you stop apologizing, please? She’s a child and that glass was in the wrong spot to start with. Really, she did nothing wrong”

Heart swelling at his easy manner; Alec merely took his answer with a smile.

“Uh, is she your only daughter?”, Magnus asked hesitantly, his voice going hushed.

Alec’s heart squeezed in his chest, because the answer to that question was a story he never wanted to tell, a complicated riot of lives intertwined and grief and loss, but it was also a simple enough answer “Yep, just the one”

He didn’t know enough about Magnus to catalog his expressions, but he could swear the man’s face dropped a little, a hint of sadness entering his eyes as he nodded and smiled slightly “She’s lovely”

“Thank you”

They stood there again, in what was quickly becoming their thing, just staring at each other and then down at the floor, and Alec wanted to slap himself, because he wasn’t supposed to be thinking of “having things” with Magnus. He wasn’t supposed to think anything of Magnus. He was a dinner guest and he was leaving in a few hours, and Alec ought to remember that. He cleared his throat and pointed at the mud on his pants “I should probably change out of these clothes. Dinner is about to be served”

Magnus snapped out of his haze, muttering a quick “Of course, sorry”, his blush spreading higher on his cheeks and Alec wanted to know where that blush reached, wanted to follow it with his eyes, and fingers and most likely with his mouth which meant that this Magnus guy was a horrible terrible influence on his disposition.

He quickly moved around Alec, disappearing into the hallway, closing the door behind quietly, and Alec felt a gust of cold wash over him. He was setting himself up for some deep trouble.

A quick shower and a change of clothes later, Alec walked out to the patio where his mother had set up the humongous oak table they used when the whole family was home. The chaos of people was as familiar to him as breathing. His mom and Luke were bringing in the last of the dishes from the kitchen, while Lena played some game of chase with Simon. Isabelle and Magnus were sitting across from each other, looking at the squabbling duo as they laughed about something. Just as Simon grabbed hold of Lena and started swinging her around, Jace and Clary walked up from the direction of their cottage, Clary waddling about adorably, though if Alec mentioned it to her, she would probably deck him in the face.

His sister-in-law was seven months pregnant and currently in that phase where she was super sensitive one minute, and a fiery ball of anger the next. Jace looked at her in a mixture of awe and horror most of the time, though he’d done that even before he knocked her up, so Alec guessed it wasn’t much to go by.

The second Lena saw them, she demanded Simon let her down, then took off running, her arms already spread wide open as she rushed to greet her favorite person, only to be intercepted by Jace who scooped her up in a hurry “Now, what did we say about the running back maneuver, Squirt?”

“I’m eight. I don’t know football”, Lena replied in mock ignorance, and everybody cracked up at that. Lena knew more about football than the whole of them combined. It was her and Luke’s Sunday tradition, and she threatened bloody murder if someone messed with her time with Pops.

“Yeah, right”, Jace said, holding her upside down as she giggled, “No running at aunt Clary while she carries your cousin Damien in her belly, Squirt”

“Nope”, Clary said unprompted, already shaking her head and taking a seat at the table.

“I’ll wear you down, Fray”

“In your dreams, Lightwood. I’m not naming my child after the kid from the Omen. That’s just asking for trouble”

Jace grumbled and put Lena down, head side up, thankfully, then sat next to his wife, puppy dog eyes already in place in what appeared to be a long-standing battle.

Alec took his seat next to Isabelle and asked “Since when does Jace want to name his son Damien?”

“Since Simon bet him that Clary wouldn’t let him”, Isabelle replied in a whisper, seeming too happy with the prospect.

“I’m guessing you also have money in this pool”, Magnus asked from where he was sitting across from her, stealing the words from Alec’s mouth, and Isabelle laughed and said “My choice of names is a bit harder to sell”

“Let me guess: Something like Buckley?” Magnus quipped, reaching for a glass of water.

“Doesn’t he wish?”, she quipped, “Nah, I’m going full Mormon. God’s willing, my nephew is going to be named Jebediah Lightwood”

It should be noted that spit takes look hilarious in movies. They’re perfectly timed and with minimal casualties. In real life, they’re messy and awkward and well, who was Alec kidding, _still_ hilarious. Magnus coughed furiously, trying to get himself under control after spewing his water all over the table cloth, while Isabelle cracked up at his misfortune.

“I can’t believe he actually took that bet”, Magnus said in wonder, or horror, Alec wasn’t quite sure.

“You haven’t met Jace. He would never back down from a dare” Isabelle said with obvious glee.

Alec nudged her “And I’m assuming you made it entirely enticing?”

Izzy shrugged “Eh, I just had to triple dog dare him”. _Of course, that’s all she had to do!_

Everybody quieted down as their mom brought the big platter of roast chicken, and Lena skipped over to take her seat next to Alec. Jace reached for the basket of bread, only to have his hand swatted by Maryse as she looked at Magnus with a bright affectionate smile “Magnus, sweetie, do you say grace?”

“Since when do we say gra- …oomf” Jace exclaimed as he glared at his wife, who had clearly cut him off from being an embarrassment. All eyes on him, Magnus blushed a bit and stammered out a hesitant “Not really, only if you insist”

Luke snorted and said “Yeah, we’re good. Dive in, guys”.

Isabelle should’ve probably warned Magnus about the Olympics of dining with the Lightwood-Garroway bunch. It was like watching the Hunger games in live action, only with more injuries and less dead people. Alec started on Lena’s plate, piling it with food as the rest of them basically volleyed plates around in a mad game of “Pass the parcel”. Alec expected Magnus to be overwhelmed or at the very least intimidated by the unruly group, but to his surprise, he looked right at home, scooping something off of Isabelle’s plate while conversing with Simon on his right. The meal quickly found its pace as people talked over each other.

Lena had once told him that it was her favorite thing about dinner in their house, how everybody talked at once, each two people engrossed in a conversation across a plate of roast potatoes, until someone else joined in and the whole chaos started anew. Alec had just smiled and told her that it was probably because she’d been listening to them chatter at her since the day she was born. The noise and chaos were basically engrained, and he got it. His family was a wild bunch, but even amidst the chaos and the jokes, you could see how much they loved each other, how much they cared. You could see it in the way Jace kept adding more chicken to Clary’s plate, while she sneaked it into Simon’s when he wasn’t looking. You could feel it in the way Luke kept Maryse’s drink topped off, while she kept reaching for his hand to pat it gently in thanks. You could feel it in the way Isabelle kept an eye on Lena’s plate, counting her greens because his daughter was a fiend and would not hesitate to do a “drop and slide under the table” maneuver to get rid of her Brussel sprouts. You could feel it in the way Simon’s eyes were glued on Izzy’s while she regaled Magnus with tales of their family, inching the plate of watermelon and fetta salad closer to her because he knew it was her favorite.

He looked up to see Magnus looking at him oddly, a peculiar expression on his face as he looked between him and Lena, then down at his plate. Alec caught his eye and tilted his head in question, and Magnus smiled slightly, shaking his head as if to say “Don’t worry about it”.

“So, how did you two meet?”, Jace asked, pointing his fork between Magnus and Isabelle, startling Alec out of his third stare-off with the guy in as many hours. He really needed to get a hold of himself.

Magnus cleared his throat and explained the story of his aunt’s death and her odd final request, and the bank’s unwillingness to cooperate. “So, now, I’m waiting to hear back from the executioner of the will. Apparently, he took some time off and is currently unavailable”

A tiny finger poked Alec in the arm “Dad, what’s a safety deposit box?”, Lena asked hesitantly.

“It’s a box that the bank keeps safe for you. You can keep something valuable in it, and they’ll hold on to it for you” Alec replied, pushing back the locks that were getting in her face.

She turned to Magnus “Why won’t they give you your stuff, then?”

Magnus smiled at her fondly, making Alec’s heart jump in his chest “Well, they want me to have a secret word to open it, and I don’t have that”

“Maybe your aunt left it to you in code. You should check her letters for any secret codes, or invisible ink”, she said in growing excitement.

“That would be really cool, but I left the letters in New York, so sadly, I can’t check”, Magnus replied in mock disappointment.

Alec looked at him and explained “She’s being going through Nancy Drew books like crazy”, and Magnus smiled back, sending Alec’s heart into overdrive. This meal was going to be the death of him. Isabelle should really warn him before bringing home someone that affected his constitution so thoroughly.

Maryse chimed in from her seat at the end of the table “Well, you should stay with us while you wait for the news, Magnus. No point spending so much on hotels when you don’t know when this guy is coming back”

“Oh no, I wouldn’t want to impose, thank you”, Magnus smiled genuinely, eyes a bit wide at the unprompted invitation.

Maryse waved away his rebuttal “Oh, nonsense. I insist. You’re so far from home, and going through plenty, and the house has plenty of spare rooms. There is absolutely no reason you should be holed up alone in a hotel room”. Magnus looked like a gaping fish, surprised as his eyes flitted about the table, as if waiting for someone to save him.

He wasn’t the only one surprised. Alec looked at his mother in bewilderment. It was true that she had taken to the country life like a duck to water, but this seemed extreme even for a southern belle, let alone a former CEO of a Fortune 500 company from the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Maryse Lightwood, or Maryse Garroway now, he supposed, was the world’s most loving parent, most supportive wife and most doting grandmother, but the insisting hostess was a new aspect she was presenting.

Alec was about to come to Magnus’ rescue when Isabelle clapped her hands excitedly and said “That would be perfect, Magnus. You should totally stay with us”

“Plus, you’re Marla’s nephew. What sort of friends would we be to let you stay at a hotel?”

Alec looked at Jace across the table, both of them looking a bit unsure about their mom’s sudden disdain for the residential establishments. His brother just shook his head as if to share his cluelessness about the subject, and then went back to his chicken like it was the most fascinating thing on the planet.

Maryse was already making plans, unbothered by Magnus’ silence at the other side of the table “You’ll spend the night here, and in the morning, you’ll get your stuff. Alec can drive you. Alec, don’t you have a meeting in town tomorrow? You can drop Magnus off at his hotel so he can pack, and then bring him back with you. Perfect”, she clapped her hands once in absolute resolution, a drill sergeant that had just given them their marching orders. 

Despite how flabbergasted his was by the entire thing, Alec couldn’t help the little jump in his gut as he thought of Magnus being in such close proximity. One meal with the guy had basically turned him into a jittery pile of goo, seeing his face wherever he went for the next few days would probably make Alec a mess. Well… a bigger one.

Magnus looked at him for a second, before he turned to Maryse with a bright smile and nodded his head “Sure, I’ll take you up on the offer. I’d love to be around such friendly faces. And don’t worry about my stuff, I can figure it out. I’m sure Alexander is a busy man”

There was a slight pause as everybody, Alec included, absorbed the way his full name sounded from Magnus’ lips and Alec may be biased, but he thought it was leaps and bounds more charming than when his mother called it in anger. He realized that everyone was waiting for his answer, so he burst out with a quick “No, no, it’s fine, as long as you don’t mind waking up a bit early. I can take you”

Magnus just smiled at him, and Luke said, in his ever-commanding tenor “Then it’s settled. Magnus, welcome to the insanity”

* * *

“There he is. Look at him, sitting in the moonlight”, doofus number one started as footsteps came from the direction of the house.

“Oh, Alexander, why the long face?” doofus number two finished, following after him.

“Comedians, the both of you”, Alec said evenly, watching Jace and Simon come up to the little sun room where he was sitting. Simon had a beer in hand because he never wanted to see another drop of wine in his life ever again, or at least until tomorrow, -his words-, and Jace was carrying a mug of hot tea, because he was sober in solidarity of Clary.

Everyone else had turned in for the night after a long and frankly, fun evening. That eventful dinner had been followed by coffee and cake, during which they had tried to play a game of Uno, but Isabelle was a sore loser and Jace was a smug one, so that had gone to shit fairly quickly. Lena had gotten exhausted not long after, and by the time he had put her to bed, everyone else had gone to sleep.

Even after seven years, it still struck him as odd that they managed to find enough peace to fall asleep at such an early hour. Their lives had changed drastically since they moved to Italy, and despite the adjustments, Alec couldn’t find it in him to regret the decision. When he’d decided that New York was no longer the right place for him and Lena, he hadn’t hesitated to take Izzy up on her invitation to join her. He knew that he would have to give up his job, and leave his mom and Jace behind, but staying in the City after everything had happened had been a drain, slowly killing his soul.

It wasn’t even a month after he’d gotten settled with Izzy that Maryse and Jace had joined them. Apparently, New York was too empty without Lena’s baby cries around, and Jace had been bored without his big brother to torment and tease every day, or so he had explained. Alec knew the truth. He had the best family in the world, and not a day would go by when he would take that for granted.

Simon dropped into the chair next to him, shaking him from his thoughts, and said “Soooo, Alexander”

Alec groaned as Jace started laughing like an idiot. “Please, don’t make a big deal out of it”

“Not make it a big deal? Do you remember when I tried to call you by a nickname when we first met?” Simon protested, clearly holding a grudge about a seven-year-old offense.

Alec rolled his eyes in disgust “You wanted to call me Mr. Electric. Alexander is my name. Huge difference”

“Mr. Electric is a kickass nickname and you’re still an idiot for missing out on it”

“Not the point, Simon!”, Jace chimed in, his smile hidden by his mug, and Alec just widened his eyes at his brother. The traitor!

“Right, the point is, you don’t let anyone call you that!”

“I don’t?”

“You don’t”

“I don’t?”

“You don’t?” Simon sounded unsure.

“Or is it that no one has ever tried?” Alec replied as if he were sharing some great wisdom.

“Huh” Simon intoned, looking like he was reconsidering his entire life, and Jace cracked up, turning to Alec “How do you always manage to do that? I try to convince him of something and I feel like I’m the one losing my mind”

“Give it a few years. Jebediah will make Simon seem like the junior league” Alec laughed, and it was Jace’s turn to groan “I can’t believe she told you about that”

“I can’t believe you took that bet. Are you insane?” Alec was still laughing, and Simon joined in.

It wasn’t until things quieted down again that Jace asked evenly “You going to be okay?”

It took Alec a second to realize that his brother was talking to him, and he looked at him in bewildered confusion “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You looked overwhelmed at that dinner. If you don’t want this Magnus guy around, I can talk to mom..”

“No, no. Don’t be ridiculous. I was just surprised. Everything is fine. Why would his staying here change anything?” Alec reassured, and Simon just snorted and raised his beer bottle in a mock toast “Famous last words, my friend. Famous last words”

* * *

Magnus hurried through the front door, a chocolate muffin that Maryse had shoved his way still clutched in his hand. He skidded through the front door and through the Iron gate into the second property, where a truck was idling in the driveway, Alexander already seated inside.

It appeared that fresh air and lack of traffic noise were allies with deep sleep because waking up this morning had been almost impossible. Magnus had missed his first alarm, and his second, and his third, and if it weren’t for a shy knock that had roused him from the abyss of sleep he’d fallen into, he would still be cocooned in those soft sheets. The Lightwood family home was even bigger than it looked like on the outside, and Magnus had been shown to a beautiful room that overlooked the vineyards next door. It was spacious and well-aired, and was furnished in the most beautiful off-white tones. It reminded him of a statuesque 18th century home, minus the frills and the excessive assassinations.

He rushed into the cab of the truck, the delicious smelling muffin still in his hand, muttering apologies to a cheerful looking Alec. “Sorry, your house is so comfortable I may have overslept”

“I know. I’m the one who knocked on your door this morning” Alec replied with an amused smile, already backing up the driveway and turning into the dirt road. “And don’t worry, it’s completely normal. The lack of noise tends to do that until your brain rewires itself to bird chirping instead of foghorns”

“Must’ve been quite the change of pace to come here from New York”, Magnus asked, unable to keep from digging a bit.

He’d thought about it plenty last night. He was more confused than ever about the entire family situation with the Lightwoods. From what he understood, Isabelle, Jace and Alec were brothers. Maryse and Luke were married, and so were Jace and Clary. Lena was Alec’s daughter, and Simon wasn’t related to anyone, by blood or otherwise, though Magnus suspected he wouldn’t mind being. He’d caught him dreamily gazing at Isabelle at least three times before dessert was even served.

But the thing that kept nagging at him was Alec’s relationship status. Despite what he had first believed, it was obvious that Isabelle had been talking about Clary, and Alec didn’t wear a wedding ring, which led Magnus to believe that Lena’s mother wasn’t in the picture somehow, or maybe that was his wishful thinking. Watching the guy in loving father mode had just about killed Magnus. He was genuinely surprised that no one had called him out on the puddle of drool he must’ve left in his wake as he watched Lena look at Alexander like he held all the secrets of the universe.

However, asking Isabelle to clarify the situation had seemed wrong somehow. Not only was it none of his business, but also because he and Alec had somewhat bonded last night, even over trivial things like the stupid bet and the wine stain fiasco, and it felt right to ask him directly. Now if only the words would actually make it out of his mouth.

“Yeah, it definitely was, but you could say that the City lost its appeal and Italy felt like a fresh start. Finding this place felt like a sign that I didn’t want to ignore”, Alec replied, unaware of Magnus’ tumultuous thoughts.

“It’s a beautiful place. I understand the appeal”, Magnus said absently, still trying to get his thoughts in order.

Alec just smiled back and turned his head back to the road, humming softly under his breath as he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, the beat in tandem with Magnus’ racing heart. He figured the best way to broach the subject would be head on. He wasn’t known for much tact anyway. “Can I ask you something? And feel free to tell me to mind my own business”

Alec looked back at him for a second, then tuned back to the road and said, quietly, solemnly, and with the patience of someone who had to say the words often “She’s dead”

The words were said with such finality, that Magnus felt caught off guard for a second before he could think enough to say “What?”

“You were going to ask about Lena’s mom, right?” Alec asked back, not even glancing at Magnus, and Magnus made an affirmative noise, to which Alec just shrugged and repeated “Lydia, Lena’s mom. She’s dead. It happened seven years ago. Lena has no memory of her”

Magnus felt his heart clench in grief for both Alec and the little girl who didn’t get the chance to meet her own mother “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up”

“No, no, it’s fine”, Alec cut him off, shaking his head slightly; “I could feel you doing the math in your head last night. It’s completely normal to wonder” he assured, offering him a tentative smile.

“Was that the reason you moved here?” Magnus couldn’t help but ask, wanting to know more about this person sitting next to him. Despite the tragic story, there was a certain something about Alexander Lightwood that made him fascinating in Magnus’ mind. He felt drawn to him in a way he had rarely, if ever, felt, not at this magnitude, and definitely not at this rate.

“Mostly. I wanted a fresh start, both for me and Lena. New York became stifling, you could say” Alec replied, still looking ahead, speaking in gentle even tenor, as if he were discussing the weather. Magnus didn’t buy the act for one second, but he also knew what it felt like to put on a brave face and want to prove to the world that you were doing fine.

“Too many memories?” he asked hesitantly, and Alec let out a harsh sound that ought to be a laugh, but felt so hollow and sad that it couldn’t be defined as such.

“Too many bad ones”, Alec echoed morosely. He reached for the stereo, turning up the radio and upping the volume, enough to halt any attempt at conversation. Message received loud and clear; Magnus turned to look out the window at the greenery that was slowly morphing into beautiful stone buildings as they breached the city limits. He was left with more questions than when he started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think so far in the comments below. Feedback is much appreciated :)
> 
> I'll be back soon with another chapter. See you then ^^


	3. Chapter 3

“You did not”

“I did”

“You did not” a hum of quiet stifled laughter was slowly entering her voice. The traitor!

“Sadly, I really did”

A slight pause, and then Maia’s chirping voice hesitantly said “Well, purple is your color, so it could’ve been worse”. The words were enunciated so slowly that Magnus knew she was trying her best not to pop a vessel, holding laughter in so hard.

“Magenta”, he said in defeat, already knowing there was no way he could get out of the teasing for this one.

“Excuse me?”, she said in confusion.

Magnus sighed and repeated “It’s more of a magenta shade, but Simon said that it should be gone within the day if I soak in some vinegar. I smell vile right now”.

Maia couldn’t hold it in any longer. Magnus could barely hear her wheezing over the phone, her seal-like chortles telling him she was probably on the floor right then, laughing at his misfortune. Not that he could blame her. Were the situations reversed, he would not hesitate to laugh her out of the room.

He’d been staying with the Lightwoods for four days. Four blissful days of doing nothing but lounging in the gardens, eating the best food in the world and hanging out with some of the best company he’d ever had, but Magnus wasn’t used to being idle. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he took a day off before this blasted journey. He occupied himself with answering emails and checking up on projects’ progress for a few hours every day, but it still wasn’t the same. He was used to being in the thick of the action, and it was killing him that he was stranded across the ocean, so far away from the office.

It appeared that the executioner of the will had taken an extended vacation, something about his 30th wedding anniversary spent on a cruise ship in the middle of the Caribbean. Catarina had assured him that she was doing her best to get into contact with the guy as soon as possible, but so far, there was no way out of this mess he was in.

So, bored and going stir crazy roaming the house, he had jumped on Simon’s invitation to tour the wine distillery today. In the past few days, he had learned more facts about the dynamic of the extended family living on the property. Simon was Clary’s best friend and a chemist who had no urge to work for corporate moguls and had two passions in life: food and wine, so naturally, when his best friend’s father offered him the position of chief wine maker, he had agreed readily. He lived on the property, was a member of the family, and had found his true calling on the job.

August in Tuscany meant that the first batches of grapes were ripe enough to be picked off and for the fermentation process to begin. The entire occasion had the entire property in a constant state of action, and Simon and Alec, who managed the estate, rarely had time to take a break as the fruit had to be picked and used quickly, before it went too sweet. _Look at him being knowledgeable about wine making!_

Apparently, the Lightwood-Garroway vineyards made some of the best wine in the region, and if the few glasses he had every night at dinner were any indication, he was tempted to agree. So, he had joined Simon on a little tour of the place where the magic happened, and for the first part of the day, he’d had a blast. Simon was fun to be around, even if his hyper energy was exhausting at times. He made Magnus feel like he was an old man instead of a spry man of 30, with his passion and wide-eyed wondrous expression. It wasn’t until they reached the fermentation tanks that things had gone horribly awry.

“It’s not my fault that the height of the tanks made me dizzy”, he told Maia, and even he could recognize the sulk in his tone.

His soon-to-be-ex best friend just wheezed louder, her high pitched noise probably bringing back the dolphins to the Hudson. “How did they fish you out?”

Magnus knew that he was beyond embarrassment really. He was bright purple, and reeked of the awful concentrated smell of vinegar, yet he still felt his cheeks heat as he muttered “I tried to swim through it, but that shit was so thick, Maia. You have no idea. Eventually, they had to use a hook to get me to the edge of the tank, and I climbed out” and there she went again. Honestly, why he thought she would offer him some sympathy for his plight was beyond him. She was the worst.

“Well, I need visual proof, Barney, so make sure you send me a picture”, she managed to let out through her chuckles, before heaving a calming breath and saying “Thank you for that. I needed a good laugh”

Magnus was instantly alert, his purplish tint slightly forgotten “Why? What’s happening? Is everything okay at the office? Did something happen?”

“Magnus, breathe! Everything is fine. The office hasn’t caught on fire yet, and we even managed to complete the Balckthorns’ campaign proposal yesterday. That’s actually why I’m tired. You calling me at 7 o’clock in the morning on my day off isn’t really helping”

Magnus cringed a bit at that. He’d forgotten about time zones and whatnot. He’d just wanted to chat. “Sorry”, he murmured, instantly chagrined.

“Nah, don’t worry about it. I can always go back to sleep. I miss you”

“Miss you too, darling. This whole situation is getting more irritating by the day”, he grumbled.

“Well, from what you told me, this guy could take weeks to get back to you, right?”

“Yes, which is why I’m thinking of coming back. There is no point in me dwelling here when there’s work to be done and lives to be led. I hate this feeling of limbo”

“Now, hold on, there. When was the last time you actually took some time off for a vacation?”

“I don’t need a vacation”

“Bullshit”, Maia coughed under her breath, and Magnus rolled his eyes at the impishness. She couldn’t see it, but he bet she could feel it.

“Listen to me, Barney”

“Can you stop it with that?” he cut her off.

“I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family”, she started singing in a shrill obnoxious voice, and despite the urge he had to laugh, because he really did look like the purple dinosaur at the moment, he felt it necessary for his dwindling dignity to affect a disgruntled façade.

“I will hang up”

“Okay, okay, I’ll stop. What I was saying, is that we don’t have many projects this summer. Remember how we promised we weren’t going to overdo it after the Penhallow disaster last year”

Magnus groaned, remembering the utter mess that project had been. One of the most respectable textile moguls in the City, the Penhallows had hired their company to come up with a full campaign for their Fall collection. The problem had been that their point guy on the project had decided to drop the ball midway through to hike through Europe with his girlfriend. They’d been swamped with work, and Magnus still couldn’t stomach Thai pads from the infinite amounts of late takeout he and Maia had had to go through to finish the project on time. They’d promised each other that this summer would be different, so they’d taken on less projects, and longer deadlines.

“Yeah, I know that, but…”

“No but, Magnus. We have the time, and more than that, you need the time. You need to properly grieve her, honey. And what better way than to do so where she would have wanted you to”

Magnus felt himself get chocked up, like the memory of Marla always made him. He knew that Maia was right. Ever since he got the call that she was gone, he had made sure that to keep on the move, always too busy to stay alone with his thoughts, which was part of the reason why being idle in the house had been so hard. The idea that he was basically alone in the world, the thought that he had no family to turn to, should he seek it, threatened to make him crumble under its weight. It was an eerie feeling, the loneliness that overcame him when he thought of Marla. He didn’t regret much when it came to life, but he regretted not making more of an effort to keep in touch over the years.

“So, what do you suggest then?”, he asked Maia, voice going surprisingly hoarse.

“Take the vacation time. Stop thinking of this trip as a torture device and enjoy your time there. When the lawyer gets back to you, come back home”

“That could take months. I can’t stay away from the office for that long. We were talking of expanding, for God’s sake”

“And the idea still remains. We’re not going anywhere, and knowing you, you’ll still do what you can to help from over there. If I need your sorry ass in the office, I’ll call you. That’s a promise”

Magnus leaned back on the headboard behind him, closing his eyes as a wave of peace washed over him. He didn’t realize how anxious he’d been about this until now. “I don’t know what I would do without you, Maia”, he told her truthfully.

“Probably curl up in the fetal position and cry yourself to sleep every night” she replied in a matter-of-fact tone. She was not incorrect. “Plus, you’d do the same for me”, she finished with a conviction that stemmed from years of friendship and camaraderie.

They’d met during freshman orientation in college. She’d been wearing an Avett Brothers t-shirt and he knew right then and there that they were meant to be friends. Through thick and thin, they somehow managed to remain, the only stable relationship in the eye of the Hurricane that was his life. He owed her more than words could express.

“Sure would, darling.”, he confirmed. They said their goodbyes and he leaned back against the soft down pillow, when a knock sounded at the door.

“Come in”, he said, guessing it was Maryse with another round of vinegar he could rub on his tinted skin, only to be surprised by Lena, who peaked through the doorway, then widened her eyes comically as she caught sight of him. “Oh my God, it’s true”, she squealed, rushing into the room and taking a seat at the edge of the bed, her mouth gaping open in a fascinated expression of wonder.

Magnus couldn’t help but laugh. The other bright spot of staying with the Lightwoods had been getting to spend time with Lena. Since school was out for the summer, the little girl had to busy her days with all sorts of interesting activities around the house, and she usually managed to finagle Magnus into helping her with whatever endeavor she chose for the day.

In the past few days, he had met every neighbor in the village, as he and Lena delivered Maryse’s apricot jam to every household in the area; he’d gone with her to the birdwatching station so she could sketch the wildlife, and had learnt more about birds than he had in the three decades he’d been alive. The thing that amused him the most was that he didn’t escort Lena as a chaperone or an adult taking her somewhere. In fact, it was the other way around. The eight-year-old had somehow taken him under her wing, and in his state of utter boredom, Magnus hadn’t put up much of a fight. She was like a forest sprite, flitting about with her wild hair and summer dresses. She was adored by every person they came across, and more insightful than most adults he knew.

A poke at his arm brought him back to reality, and he looked down to see Lena touching the colored skin, a squeamish expression on her adorable face. “Does it hurt?”, she asked him slowly, looking concerned.

Magnus laughed and tugged on one of her loose locks “Not at all, sweetheart. It’s just a tint. It’ll go away in a few”

Lena looked at him steadily for a few seconds, as if she were searching for some clue that he was telling the truth, and then giggled sweetly “Well, you look funny”

He laughed at that. He tried to find a way to ask, although he knew he shouldn’t. It was none of his business, and he should just bite his tongue, but the words burst out of him, regardless “Is your Dad around?”

“Nah, he’s at the winery”, she wrinkled her nose “That place smells weird, I don’t like it”

Magnus hoped his disappointment didn’t show too much on his face as he put up a small smile “It can’t smell worse than I do right now”

“Yeah, you smell like Grandma’s pickle jar”, she said solemnly, then looked up at him with a mischievous smile that wrenched a laugh out of him.

“Come on, go on down. I’ll join you in a minute”, he shooed her out, guessing a shower wouldn’t go remiss before he joined the rest downstairs.

Lena skipped out the door the same way she came in, basically floating on air, and Magnus hopped into the shower, going against every instinct he had to stop from rubbing his skin. It would just make the situation worse.

His mind couldn’t help but flit back to the question he’d asked Lena. He wasn’t an overly paranoid person, or someone with a wild imagination, but he could swear that Alexander was avoiding him. It was a feeling that left a gaping hole in the pit of his stomach, but after the conversation they’d had when Alec drove him to the hotel, something changed. Magnus didn’t know if it was his questions, or just Alec’s general lack of interest, but he’d grown silent around him. Too silent. He still smiled and exchanged pleasantries over dinner, but it was like that little spark of something that had sizzled between them on that first night had been snuffed out. Or maybe there was never a spark, and Magnus was just a delusional idiot with a crush on a guy that, for all intents and purposes, had given him no concrete signs that he was into guys, let alone into him. And maybe that was for the best. After all, Magnus was here on borrowed time, and getting entangled in family drama was the last thing that should be on his mind. That didn’t stop his mind from roving though, and it sure didn’t stop his traitorous heart from basically leaping every time Alexander entered a room. It was getting absolutely pathetic!

He shut off the water, and got out of the shower, drying himself quickly and putting on some comfortable clothes. There seemed to be no reason to bother with his hair or make up since there really wasn’t much to distract from his gruesome skin at the moment, so he just went into the kitchen, where Isabelle and Maryse were baking some concoction that smelled like heaven, whereas Luke and Clary sat at the counter, stealing warm cookies off the rack and dunking them into milk. The kitchen was in its natural state of chaos, but Magnus had come to associate chaos in the Lightwood household with life. He had never met a family more dynamic, more budding with beautiful, magical life.

* * *

“Dad, Grandma said that dinner is up in ten minutes”, Lena yelled from the doorway, and Alec smiled. She was so stubborn, and she refused to set foot into the winery no matter why. Apparently, it smelled funky, _which it did_ , but the hot-headed child didn’t come in more out of principle. It went to prove that some personality traits were hereditary after all. Lena might not remember Lydia, but she sure acted exactly like her mom when it came to being an absolute mule about things.

When they were kids, Lydia had hated gum, absolutely abhorred it. She had hated the smell of it, the sound of it, and she had refused to go near anyone who was chewing it. Their teachers, parents and every adult in their lives had threatened to ground her when she refused to say hello to relatives for that reason, but she never budged. It had driven him bonkers, because usually, he got roped into staying with her when she got grounded, but she persisted. The memory brought a slight ache to his heart, mainly because Lena was exactly the same in that regard.

He looked at Simon who was monitoring the tanks “Go ahead, and just tell them to start without me. I’ll be there in a bit”

Simon arched a brow at him, crossing his arms over his chest. He called out “Coming, Len. Go back to the house, we’re right behind you”, and then he turned back to Alec and said “Haven’t you had enough?”

Alec was confused “Of what?”

“Of avoiding the house”

“I’m not. I just want to finish filling the tank” They’d had to throw away an entire tank full of grapes after the incident that happened earlier. He hadn’t been there to witness it, but he felt horrible for poor Magnus.

“It’s not going anywhere, and I’m not just talking about now. You know that” Simon replied, getting that look of extreme concentration on his face. It never boded well for Alec when he went into that mode.

“Then what are you talking about, Si? Because I’m lost”

“I’m talking about Magnus”, and dammit, that shouldn’t have caused him to go as rigid as he did.

“What about Magnus?”. He made sure to keep an even unaffected tone. It didn’t bely the truth though. He could tell from Simon’s expression that he didn’t buy his blasé act one bit.

“When Jace and I asked you if you were okay with him staying here, you said you were”

“And I stand by my words”

“Then why do you skirt around him like you’re walking on eggshells. You’ve spent more time here in the past four days than you do in a month. What’s bothering you?”

“Nothing is bothering me. Can’t a guy worry about his freaking wine in peace?”

Simon just stared him down, and for a guy who was so happy and cheerful about life, he gave an impressive stare down. He’ll give him that!

Simon’s voice softened slightly as he leaned forward “Did he say something, you know, about Lydia?”

“No, I mean, yeah, he asked, but that doesn’t bother me. You know that. I just… I don’t know, I just don’t want to…” Alec’s eyes flitted about the room, and he looked up at the ceiling, trying to find the right words to explain, because Simon was right. Regardless of what he said, he had been staying away from the house more in the past few days. It wasn’t a conscious decision. It was more of a defense mechanism, a way for him to keep things in perspective, keep his head clear and his heart out of any mess he couldn’t and wouldn’t get into.

“Oh, now I get it”, Simon exclaimed, and Alec looked down to see him sporting the world’s goofiest smile, which for some reason, had him more on alert than the concentrated concern look did.

“You like him”, Simon said, waving his hands excitedly as he started pacing back and forth, working himself to a tizzy “How did I not think of that? The “Alexander” alone should’ve been obvious. That’s why you’re being weird. You like him”

“No, I don’t”, and even to his ears, the answer felt rushed.

“Oh, come on”, Simon replied with a chuckle, “He’s just your type. Charming, genuinely nice, really handsome, and gets along great with Lena. You’re whipped, aren’t you?”

“First of all, I’m not whipped. I take offense to that”, Alec rebuked, and Simon scoffed at him.

“And second”, he ground out, finger lifted in warning “Lower your voice. I swear to God if Isabelle or Jace catch wind of this, Si. I will tell Isabelle that you loved her brownies, and she’ll bake them every single day”

The look of horror that dawned on Simon’s face was vindicating to Alec, to say the least. “What is the big deal? So, you like him. I don’t get why you’re avoiding him”

“Really? You’re going to give me dating advice now, Romeo? How long did it take you to ask Izzy out? Oh, wait”, he lifted a hand in mock thoughtfulness, “You still haven’t”

Simon glared at him, because they had this conversation at least once a day “That’s different. Iz and I are part of a bigger dynamic. If I do ask her out, and it doesn’t work out, the entire family is affected. Magnus is leaving soon, anyway”

“And that’s exactly why I’m not going to do anything about it” Alec explained.

It was torture being around him, with his bright smile, and good humor and general appreciation of everything and everyone. He shined so bright, and Alec was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. He wanted to be near him all the time, which was why he had basically barricaded himself in this smelly barn for the past few days.

_Don’t tell Lena he agreed with her about the smell. It would go straight to her head!_

Simon was still talking “Why the hell not? Just enjoy whatever time he has here”

“And then what? He leaves and I’m left with what? Heartbreak and a kid who loses yet another person because of me? I can’t be that selfish and I’m not the hook-up kind of guy. I never have been”

He must’ve sounded as pathetic as he felt, because Simon got this sad expression on his face, and stopped arguing, merely nodding his head in acceptance, and wiping his hands with a rag. “Come on then. At least, act natural around him, then. Dinner is getting awkward”

“It is _not_. You’re just making that up”

“Hey, I’m a sensitive guy. I like to have zen energy around me, and you are _not_ zen”

He was right about that. Zen was the last thing Alec felt around Magnus Bane.

* * *

“Hey there, Barney”

Magnus looked up from his book to see Alec walking through the double doors of the patio, a bottle of something in his hand, and a glass of wine in the other. He gave him a withering glance for the nickname, and Alec chuckled “Let me guess, you’ve heard that joke already today”

“You could say that”, Magnus grumbled, even as he felt excitement course through him. When they’d finished dinner earlier, Alec had disappeared into the winery the same way he had been for the past few days, and Magnus would be lying if he didn’t admit that disappointment had coiled in his gut at his hasty departure. He’d hung out with the rest of the family, as they teased him mercilessly about his new look, and then all of a sudden, everyone had scattered to the wind like they always did. It was eerie how early everyone went to bed, but in a way, made sense. They rose early, spent their day doing all sorts of chores, and went to bed with that contended sort of exhaustion that led to a deep peaceful sleep. He envied them that. Beyond that first night, Magnus’ nightly routine of tossing and turning half the night away had returned with a vengeance. He had hoped that trying to stay awake longer tonight would help with that, so there he was, reading a book he’d picked from the home library, and relaxing on the patio.

“I got you something”, Alec said, bringing him back to the moment, and Magnus looked at the bottle he was waving. It looked like a clear liquid, and he arched a brow at Alec in question. The man fidgeted in his spot, before rubbing at his neck slightly and saying in a rush “It’s a special kind of alcohol we use to rinse away the grape tint. I thought this might help better than the vinegar”

“Oh”, Magnus exclaimed, leaning forward so Alec could deposit the bottle in his hand, “Thank you, Alexander. This is great”

“Sure. I would’ve given it to you sooner, but I… Simon said that you got out fairly quickly, so I didn’t think you needed it”

Magnus quirked a brow at him, a smirk unfurling on his lips “I look a fright, don’t I?”

“What? No, no, not at all, you look great. I just figured you’d want the color gone sooner than later. But you look great. You always do”

The second he uttered those words, Alec dropped his head, and despite the dark, and the low light, Magnus could swear that he was blushing furiously. For some reason, the sight made some part of him unravel. He couldn’t exactly explain it, but it felt like a deep exhale after holding your breath for so long, like a gulp of sweet fresh water after a hike in the desert. It felt like the release of a pressure that he didn’t know had been weighing on his chest until that very moment, and the lightness was so foreign that it made him feel like he was slightly drifting.

“Thank you”, he uttered reverently, not sure what exactly he was thankful for. Alec just nodded, and then cleared his throat, his hands fidgeting with his wine glass.

“Would you like to join me?”, Magnus asked with an assuredness he did not feel, and Alec sat across from him, putting his wine glass on the table between them.

He looked at the book that Magnus was holding in his hand “What are you reading?”

Magnus held up the tome “Arabian nights. I hope it’s okay”

“Oh, yes of course, help yourself”, he smiled gently, nodding at the book, “It was my favorite growing up”

“Mine too”, Magnus smiled back at him, relishing the ease of their conversation. This was exactly why he had noticed Alec’s lack of interest so jarringly in the past few days. Magnus was blessed with a sociable disposition that made conversing with people fairly easy for him, but it was rare to find a person with whom conversation did not need to be pushed nor prodded. It just flowed naturally, like a stream of connection, forged by a power greater than himself, a thread that bound him to the people around him. From that first conversation with Alexander, he’d known that he was one of those threads in the world, an untapped connection that barely needed to be tugged at to bloom into mutual interests and a common ground.

In a world where people mostly bothered to search for differences, the connection was precious, and Magnus didn’t want to see it go to waste. He wanted to tug at the string, just to see where it would lead. “Which story was your favorite?”, Magnus asked him in a conspiratorial whisper.

Alec laughed and said sheepishly “This is going to sound cheesy”

Magnus couldn’t help but feel intrigued “Do tell”

Alec ducked his head, and rubbed at his neck again, in what Magnus was starting to realize as a nervous tick. The thought should not have been so endearing.

“Well, I’m sure that as a kid, it was something about a young stud who had it made in the shade, probably Sinbad or Aladdin, but the more I grow up, the more I realize that the real awesome story is Shahrazad’s herself”. He stopped for a second, and continued at Magnus’ head tilt of inquiry “I mean, think about it. This girl, who was young, and practically hopeless, finds herself in an impossible situation, one that hundreds of women before her couldn’t escape, and she manages to find a way out. Not through violence, not through rebellion, but merely through hope. She kept the hope alive, night after night. That’s how she managed to outwit Shahryar, by making him hope that the next night was the night that he would know the end of the story, and so on and so forth until she basically changed his whole perspective. I mean, the sheer power of will and courage that requires is just beyond anything the stories she told him could instill” He stopped talking and looked at up Magnus with wide eyes and chuckled slightly “I’m sorry. I tend to ramble sometimes. I probably sound crazy”

Magnus shook his head furiously, trying to get the little ball that had lodged itself in his throat out “Not at all, it’s actually really insightful. Sometimes, the real story is the one that unfurls right in plain sight. It’s a beautiful lesson”

Alec smiled brightly, making Magnus’ heart squeeze tightly in his chest, an unnamable emotion taking a hold of him. “What about you? What’s your favorite story?”, Alec asked.

“Oh, no. I am not following after that, mister. Anything would sound so uninspired. Nope”, he shook his head, and Alec laughed, calling him ridiculous. Magnus held up the bottle of alcohol Alec had brought “Are you supposed to mix it with water first or something?”

Alec just arched a brow at him “Subtle, are we?”, and then actually answered him “No, just a cotton ball, and pass it over your skin, but don’t rub? You don’t want to irritate the skin”

Magnus smiled fondly at the memory the words brought out, and Alec asked “What is it?”

“Nothing, just reminded me of something aunt Marla used to say”

“Will you tell me about her? I met her a few times when I would get some book for Lena, but I didn’t really know much about her life”

“What would you like to know?”

“I don’t know. What was it like growing up with her?” Alec asked, and Magnus knew that this was his one shot to try and unravel a bit of the enigma that Alec was. He only hoped that he didn’t butcher the tentative bond they seemed to have forged.

“Let’s make this interesting. A deal of sorts”

“I’m not naming anyone Jebediah for you, if that’s what you’re asking” Alec volleyed back cheekily, and Magnus burst out laughing again. Jace was still trying to convince his wife of silly names, and it took all of his willpower not to crack a rib laughing every night at dinner at her long-suffering expression.

“No, nothing that exciting, I promise”

“Alright, what do you suggest?”

“How about, for every fact I share about Marla, I get to ask you a question”

Alec looked slightly wary at the prospect, but Magnus persevered.

“What sort of question?”, Alec asked hesitantly, and Magnus shrugged, trying to downplay the situation in an attempt to appease him “I don’t know. Just random facts about you, I guess”

“Why?”. At his confused expression, Alec elaborated “I mean, why would you want to know about me?”

Magnus smiled then because how this guy could mistake his interest at this point was beyond him. It was as endearing as it was frustrating, but he had a feeling that trying to put that interest in words would send Alec right back into that winery, so he shrugged derisively and said in an even tone “Call it curiosity”

Alec took a moment to answer, looking at Magnus like he was trying to crack him open, and read his inner thoughts. Magnus didn’t recommend that. His mind was a filthy place when it came to the guy sitting across from him, and he would probably die from embarrassment if Alec were to discover the sort of thoughts that Magnus had regarding him.

Finally, Alec nodded and settled back into his chair, getting comfortable “Alright, Magnus. You’ve got yourself a deal”

Magnus fought the urge to fist pump, and settled back in his chair in the same way, trying to think of some anecdote about Marla that he could tell. Finding the perfect one, he smiled.

“She was obsessed with The Beatles. And I don’t mean like groupie stalking type. She thought their lyrics were the best thing to ever come out of the music industry, ever. When she decided to move to Italy, she sat me down and said: Now Magnus, I have no idea how long I’m going for. I could stay a day or I could stay a decade, but I will write. I will send you letters and postcards and all the little tidbits of my life I can, but if you ever get sad or miss me, just listen to Paul and the guys”, because his aunt considered the Beatles as part of the family, naturally, “And it’ll be like I’m right there with you”. He looked at Alec, who had a wistful smile on his face, and continued “And she was right. Whenever I listened to a Beatles song, it felt like she was right there giving me a hug. All her letters were signed “All you need is love” because she whole-heartedly believed it”

“She sounds like a great woman”

“She was”, and try as he might, he couldn’t suppress the note of melancholy in his voice. Alec looked at him in concern, but Magnus didn’t want to get into his woes at the moment, so he hurried to say “My turn” and Alec laughed in resignation, motioning for him to go on.

“What did you do for a living back in NY?”

“That is a random question, if I’ve ever heard one”, Alec stated, but he didn’t look upset or sad about it, so Magnus figured that he hadn’t hit any raw nerve.

“Don’t laugh, but I’ve racked my brain these past few days trying to think of some profession for you, and nothing seemed to fit?” Magnus explained earnestly.

“Thinking of me, have you?” Alec said with a smirk, and Magnus almost chocked on the wine he was sipping.

At his wide-eyed expression, Alec burst out laughing and said “I’m kidding. I get it, curiosity is a man’s best friend”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how that saying goes, but whatever” Magnus muttered, and Alec laughed again, before sighing in disgust and going “You’re going to think it’s so lame. I was an investment banker”

“Seriously?”

Magnus tried to imagine Alec dressed in a stuffy three-piece suit, handling portfolios all day and drowning in paperwork, and tried to reconcile him with the laid-back guy he recognized, in his worn jeans and fit t-shirts, and found the image impossible.

Alec nodded “Yeah, for years. It’s actually how I met Luke. I was in charge of his assets when he coached for the NY Giants. When I moved here, we reconnected and he told me that the property next door to his was up for sale, and the rest was history”

And here they were now, a family. There were those threads again, stories and connections in the world, just waiting for us to tug. It was equally exciting and terrifying to know your life could change drastically, just by meeting another person, just by making one single eye contact, or by answering one question with a yes, instead of a no.

“And how does an investment banker become a wine production manager? Is there a course for that? A thread on reddit?”

Alec laughed and looked at the starry night “Honestly, there probably is. Reddit is a weird place”, he commented, “I don’t know. When I got here, I didn’t really have a plan in mind. I just had savings, and I knew I didn’t want to go back”. He didn’t need to elaborate on that. Magnus remembered how his face had closed off when he’d told him that New York had too many bad memories.

“So, when I saw how Luke had this beautiful vineyard that he didn’t know what to do with, I just acted. It was there, you know, just waiting for a bit of care and love to bloom into itself”, he trailed off, lost in his own mind, trying to find the proper way to convey what he felt, and Magnus thought he understood. That unnamable feeling that came over you when you finally found your place in the world. He’d read about it. Hell, his whole job revolved around making a consumer believe that the product he was selling them would make them feel that way, and yet, Magnus couldn’t honestly say he’d ever felt that way, not fully anyway. Despite having tethers like Cat and Maia, he never felt like he was undoubtedly where he needed to be. He shook his head, trying to dispel the morose thoughts, and thought that it was probably time he went easy on that wine glass. He was wildly known as the sad drunk, and he didn’t need to embarrass himself further where Alexander was concerned.

“I find it hard to believe that Luke would just agree to let you industrialize the entire operation?”

Alec shrugged, looking into the dregs of his glass “Well, he did trust me with his money for years before that”. He looked up at Magnus with a mischievous smirk that had butterflies swirling in his stomach. “And it didn’t hurt that he took one look at my mother and fell head over heels”

Magnus laughed at that, loving the teasing side of Alec, and played along, raising his last drop of wine in a makeshift toast “Here’s to Mama Lightwood”

Alec raised his glass in response, and threw back the rest of it.

“Well, I think you did great with the place”

Alec smiled at him gently, tilting his head in acknowledgment. “Thank you”, then his lips pressed together in fluttering amusement as he continued “Barney”, and Magnus, who for the past hour had completely forgotten about his predicament, laughed and threw a cushion at him. He looked at his arms that now looked positively blue in the moonlight.

Alec was clutching the offending pillow to his chest, a smile still etched on his ethereal face, and Magnus’ skin hummed in content. He realized that he was feeling anything but blue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think. Comments feed my poor sleep deprived soul :)
> 
> See you guys soon ^^


	4. Chapter 4

If anyone had told Alec that one of his proudest achievements in life would be learning how to make a perfect French braid, he would have laughed them out of the room. Yet, there he sat on his bed, his daughter sitting on the floor as he finagled her long brown tresses into a tight braid that might withstand the level of activity she happily maintained throughout the day.

She was telling him about what she’d been up to while he was in the city yesterday. For an eight-year-old with limited resources and not much to do, she sure got up to a lot. Apparently, while he was in meetings about wines and distribution fees and boring market predictions, Miss Lena had learnt how to dance, had picked flowers, gave away even more jam to neighbors, and helped make plans for the Festival coming up this weekend. To be honest, he’d completely forgotten about it. With the wine making process in full swing, Alec had had little time to worry about who was going to ace the eating contest or win the stomping competition, not that his family ever let him forget for long. Now that Clary was out of commission for most competitions due to her pregnancy, Isabelle had been going stir crazy, trying to recruit for the team. Her blood-thirsty streak never failed to terrify, or in Simon’s case, instill awe, because while she droned on like a seasoned war veteran at dinner every night, hashing out winning strategies, Simon looked fascinated and amazed. Most nights, Alec had to fight the urge to smack him on the back of his head and tell him to get his shit together. It wasn’t his prerogative, though. He was probably the last person to give advice about what was advisable or not, especially with the way he’d been carrying on when it came to a kohl-eyed devil.

The thought of Magnus brought an involuntary twitch to his lips. Force of habit, he supposed, as he had discovered over the past week, when he made a fool of himself, night after night, seeking out some unknown unnamable connection to be forged over glasses of wine, overlooking the hills at dusk. It was absolutely ludicrous, the way he kept coming back for more. He’d been honest when he’d told Simon that he couldn’t pursue anything with Magnus. As a matter of fact, he was being presumptuous even thinking that Magnus would want to pursue something with him. He’d certainly made no claims of the sort. And yet, Alec was drawn, like a moth to a flame, yearning for a sense of peace that he only seemed to find in Magnus’ presence.

If anyone knew the sort of pleasure he felt on those few moments they shared every night. If someone would’ve been able to see the truth in the wild beating of his heart, or the fluttering of the swarms of butterflies that seem to take flight every time their eyes said hello, he wouldn’t hear the end of it. It was madness, and yet he couldn’t seem to stop, even when he retired for the night, and the butterflies seemed to twist into wasps that twisted his stomach into knots with the force of his guilt, _even then_ , he carried on the next night, in the same pattern, living on stolen moments of a happiness that he didn’t deserve.

He’d learnt a great deal about Magnus in the past week, tidbits of his childhood, and facts of his present life. They still insisted on the silly game they had started that first night, as if by making a deal out of it, they were somehow fooling themselves into thinking their nightly encounters were anything but what they were, a backward form of courtship.

Alec found that the rules of the game took away the pressure of sharing his life with Magnus. If he shared small facts in exchange for Magnus’ stories, he avoided thinking of what those facts entailed, what those little windows to his soul left in the wake of their overture. Magnus never asked about Lydia, always skirting around the subject, fearful of triggering Alec into a retreat, and for that, he was grateful, because as long as he didn’t think of Lydia, this was nothing serious. This was just two people finding a kinship in each other, a friendship forged by necessity and circumstances. If he didn’t think of Lydia, the guilt wouldn’t overpower him, or at least, that was the lie he told himself every night as he lay in bed thinking of eyes and lips and slender graceful curves that were merely a hallway’s length away. It was an exercise both in misery and futility.

“Dad?”, Lena asked hesitantly, shaking him out of his tumultuous thought. She was brushing her doll’s hair as he brushed hers, her lilac dress puffed around her like a blooming flower.

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Are you happy?” she asked nonchalantly, as if this sort of question was anything but a novelty on a random Thursday morning. His hand stalled, sections of her hair still gripped within his fingers so he could continue braiding. He intoned gently “What brought this on, Len?”

She shrugged her dainty shoulders, still brushing her doll’s hair diligently “I heard Grandma talk to aunt Izzy. She said that she wants you to be happy. Why aren’t you happy, dad?”

Damn his meddling family, and their never ending quest for his blasted happiness “I am, sweetheart. I have you, and I have our family. What more could I possibly need?”

“Do you like Magnus?”, she asked abruptly, and Alec chocked on air, feeling caught off guard completely. Lena turned in her spot, messing up his efforts of getting her hair into a semi-tame state, a mischievous smile on her face that reminded him so much of her mother. “Does that mean yes?”

He chuckled, even as he felt panic rise within him because if his 8 year old was onto him, then he was a doing a fairly poor job concealing his budding feelings “What on earth are you on about?” he asked in bewilderment.

“Grandma said that if you liked Magnus and Magnus liked you back, maybe you’d be happy again”

_Grandma needed to stop trying to set him up with every eligible bachelor she came across_ , but that wasn’t his biggest issue “Lena, what did we say about eavesdropping?”

“That it’s fun and that we should totally keep doing it?” she replied with a straight face and a doe-eyes expression that should be nominated for the Academy awards. He shook his head at her impishness and continued “No, eavesdropping is never okay, and it’s especially bad when you tell about what you heard”

Lena’s little button nose scrunched up as she frowned in confusion “But they were talking about you”.

She made a valid point. Now that he knew that his mother and sister were gearing up to play matchmaker, he’d have a much better shot of deterring their efforts, but still, he didn’t need Lena to pick up the nasty habit of listening in on people’s conversations. He could almost hear Lydia’s voice warning him “If you raise my kid to be a snitch, Lightwood, I’ll haunt your ass for eternity”, she’d say, and mean it. So, he explained to her that eavesdropping was a bad habit once again, making sure she understood him completely, before going back to finishing her hair-do. It wasn’t until she rose to skip outside and have breakfast that she said, tone ever so happy “Dad, I think it would be cool if you liked Magnus. Did I tell you that he taught me how to do the waltz yesterday?”

She had. In fact, she’d talked of little else, and that had set off another strange emotion within him. He wasn’t one of those neurotic overprotective parents by any stretch of the imagination. After all, they lived in the middle of nature, with a huge family and so many neighbors he lost count years ago. Lena was like a wild forest creature, flitting about, the entire village wrapped around her finger, doting on her incessantly, and yet, Alec always got disgruntled and wary, when a new addition started hanging around her, as if they would snatch her up away from him at any moment. The thing that baffled him the most was that his reaction to her little adventures with Magnus was not one of mistrust and wariness, but that of fondness and implicit trust. For some reason, he trusted Magnus, first with truths that he handed him under the blanket of darkness, and now with his daughter’s life. Alec could call it a gut feeling, an intuition or just sheer blind faith, but he knew Magnus wouldn’t let anything happen to Lena if he could help it.

Lena continued, building what, in her opinion, constituted a solid argumentative for why Magnus would be a suitable candidate for him “He helped me haul all the jars of apricot jam to the neighbors’, even though he’s allergic to apricots, and he ate aunt Izzy’s brownies and said they were good, although I saw him flinch”, she concluded with the ultimate slam dunk, because it was a universal fact that Izzy’s brownies were a test to earn sainthood in their household. If you can bite into it, chew and keep it down, your portrait could be hung on the mantle for a week, probably because you’d be dead.

Alec laughed at her irreverent sense of humor, smoothing his hand over her head, because he was not going to mess up his hard work “Lena, sweetheart. Magnus and I are just friends, and you don’t have to worry about my happiness, okay?”

He squatted in front her, eyes level with hers because the last thing he needed was for her to worry about him. His mom was getting an earful later about this whole mess “I’m fine. I have everything I need right here, alright? Your grandma just wants to see everyone as lovey dovey as she and your pops are”, he said in mock disgust, and she giggled as intended “I’m always going to be fine”, he assured her, and her little heart shaped face finally relaxed into a smile, her thoughts already bouncing to the next subject. God, where did one get such an endless supply of effervescent energy? “Can I go help aunt Clary in the studio? She’s painting the nursery”, she asked, bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“Change your dress into something old first, and don’t inhale the fumes too much”. She barely had the time to nod before she was flinging the dresser drawers open, looking for a ratty outfit that she wouldn’t mind getting dirty. Alec just chuckled and left her to it, closing the door and leaning against it for a moment of reprieve. If his smile dropped along with his shoulders, and if his heart squeezed a tiny bit harder than the vice that normally wrapped around it, then it was a mercy that no one had to see.

* * *

“It’s been two weeks, Cat. I’m starting to think this guy is lost at sea. You sure there weren’t any news stories about a cruise ship passenger going overboard or something?” Magnus sulked over the phone, letting Catarina’s soothing tenor wash over him as she assured him that she was doing the best she could to reach Mr. Whitmore, the executioner of the will. She apparently agreed with Maia’s assessment that he should take the time off for a much needed vacation. He told her about the Lightwoods and their quaint lively days and how much they made him feel at ease. She gobbled up every detail and asked for backstories like she was building a storyboard for these characters that made up his recent everyday life. He told her most of it, skipping certain parts that would no doubt only spark Cat’s inner lawyer, making her hound him for details and explanations that he wasn’t willing to give, or more accurately, couldn’t give. And yet, his oldest friend sniffed out his bullshit like always, zeroing in on his tone or some other psychoanalysis mumbo jumbo they taught her in law school and jumped in with a “What aren’t you telling me?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about”, he replied stoically, hoping she’d drop the subject.

“Is it the accommodations? If you’re uncomfortable, I can book you a hotel in five minutes”

“I’m very comfortable, thank you. Everything’s fine, Cat. You worry too much”

“No such thing”, she grumbled, no doubt her motherly instincts kicking in. She’d always been the mother hen of their group, but ever since she’d adopted Madzie, she’d become increasingly protective of her loved ones. Magnus found it endearing, even when she hounded him for something he wasn’t willing to share, just yet.

He didn’t know what it said that he was so protective of this thing he had with Alec, whatever it was. He wouldn’t call it friendship per se. There were too many stray gazes and lingering touches to define it as such, but it also wasn’t anything more. There was never any follow up to their gestures. It was like they were stuck in limbo, pushing and pulling with no direction, and it was as exciting as it was frustrating. Magnus didn’t know how to act around Alec half the time. Around the family, they were cordial, but never overtly so, as if by some mutual silent agreement, they had delegated their moments of reverie to the patio at dusk, where their laughter tumbled down the rolling hills and their yearning glances could be mistaken under the cover of the burgeoning night.

Don’t get him wrong, nothing had explicitly happened, and yet, Magnus couldn’t help but feel the threads between them strengthening with every encounter, weaving together to form a bond that was shaping up to be more substantial than anything he’s ever felt in his life. It was new and thrilling and frightening, and it was _his_ , his and Alec’s alone, and he wasn’t willing to share, not even with Catarina.

Fortunately, Izzy’s little Mini cooper slid to a stop at the curb, and he had a valid excuse to cut their conversation short “Dearest Catarina, I have to go. My ride’s here”

Cat, ever the pragmatist, quickly wrapped up their chat with promises to extract further intel from him later. _Who talked like that in real life?_ She needed to stop hanging out with lawyers and only binging Law and Order on her days off.

He hopped into the vehicle, and Izzy peeled off in a hurry, making him clutch the side door for his life. “Sorry I’m late. A customer walked in just as I was closing the shop, and I didn’t want to be rude”

He waved her off “Don’t worry about it. I just finished, anyway”

“Did you find anything worth it?” she asked as she swerved around a moving semi-truck, making him pray to whoever would listen that they would make it to the village in one piece.

“Yeah, some cute tokens I think Cat and Maia would appreciate” he shared.

“You know you could always ask Clary and Jace for some of their stuff. They don’t sell half the pieces they make. They’d be happy to gift you some”

“If I ever do, I’m buying it from them” he replied, thinking of the beautiful sculptures spread out throughout the house, and the enormous paintings of the Tuscany countryside. Jace had already asked him if he could sculpt him twice, because apparently, his cheekbones were an artist's dream or something equally as disturbing.

Isabelle just shook her head like he was being stubborn. “Anyway”, she started with a smile that promised no good, “You ready to watch utter madness descend today?”

Magnus chuckled nervously, eyeing the bloodthirsty expression on her face “I thought it was just a festival” he asked hesitantly, not sure if he was about to be dropped off in the middle of the Hunger games.

Isabelle gave him a disgusted look that had him bursting into laughter “Gah, you’re even worse than Alec. Nothing is _just_ anything. There are competitions to be won, and I’m still a man short. I can’t believe Clary is bowing out of the stomping contest”

Magnus arched a brow at her twisted priorities and shared in an undeniable sarcastic tone “Yes, I can’t believe your seven-months pregnant sister-in-law didn’t want to jump into a slippery pool of overripe grapes and jump around, dancing to fast music in a long dress, surrounded by other people stomping around, trying to get her to fall down. Whatever could she be thinking?”

“Right?”, Isabelle agreed, completely missing the point of his words, and Magnus couldn’t help but laugh again. He’d really lucked out when he passed by her shop that first day. He couldn’t imagine how dull these past weeks would’ve been if he hadn’t had the Lightwoods around.

They reached the festival grounds in no time, a big square that had been emptied to leave space for stands where vendors of all the local amenities were displaying their goods. Nearby vineyards were offering wines and jams to passerby, and music was being played by a group of patched up musicians that looked like they were having the time of their lives. Although it was already late afternoon, the place was crowded with people, locals and obvious tourists alike, all reveling in the end of summer and the season for harvesting, a tradition that had apparently been passed down by generations in this little corner of the world. Magnus had been fascinated by the concept since Maryse had mentioned it earlier in the week. From what Lena told him, the Lightwoods participated in the event like every family that had resided here for decades. Seeing them now, Magnus realized why. They fit in seamlessly, Maryse selling jars of apricot jam and offering brie cheese and sourdough bread for tasting, Luke throwing that dashing smile at tourists while offering them some original Lightwood-Garroway wine. Jace and Clary squabble over something over by a little table that sported some miniature creations of theirs, lovely vases and hand-painted porcelain plates. It was absolutely fascinating how they had carved themselves a solid position within the community, paving their way with kindness and generous spirit. 

Twinkling lights were hanging from posts, crisscrossing the top of the square, like a magical carpet of stars within their reach. Despite it not being dark yet, they were lit in a soft glow, giving the entire scene an ethereal feel. The summer breeze, the jolly music, the stream of unintelligible Italian being jovially shouted throughout the square and the various delicious aromas wafting off the different food stalls all added to the cozy homey ambiance. Magnus thought of Marla in this crowd, chatting with everyone, being her usual splendid company, and felt a slight relief waft through him, for even if he wasn’t able to be a part of it, Marla had led a wonderful life here, lively and happy and as generous as her lovely soul. As soon as he and Isabelle reached the area around the Lightwoods’ stall, a happy screech burst out before he was assaulted by flailing limbs and scrawny small arms that wrapped around his legs as Lena clung to him, giggling wildly. He put a hand on her head and looked up to see Alec running after her playfully, a twinkle in his eyes as he reached them, and started tickling the squirming child mercilessly

“Oh, you think Magnus is going to save you, huh?” he said between chuckles as he continued torturing her. Lena was getting exceedingly short-breathed as she tried to evade him, still clinging to Magnus and letting out broken words between bursts of laughter “I call Uncle! Uncle! Please stop, dad”.

Magnus felt warmth spread through him, watching the two of them together, accompanied by a certain yearning that was getting more and more acute as the days went by. He’d started noticing it at the dinner table, watching Alec and Lena be a part of their own world, a united front that felt unbreakable. For some inane reason, he wanted to be a part of it. He’d never really given thought to children before in his life, never really felt about someone strongly enough to consider starting a family with them, and while it was ludicrous of him to even entertain the idea, he was becoming keen on the idea of family if it meant it could host the two of them.

A high pitched squeal broke him of his unattainable dwellings, and he looked down to see Lena, strands of hair flying around her in a distinct sandy colored halo, begging him to save her from the tickle monster, so he scooped her up in his arms and jostled her from side to side, making her laugh even harder. Alec looked at the two of them fondly, then came closer and put his arm around Lena, kissing her temple gently and whispering “I love you, sweet girl”, and Lena leaned her head back, braced solely by Magnus’ supporting arm as she answered her father “Love you too, tickle monster”

He probably didn’t even realize it, but Alec’s other hand snaked around to rest on the small of Magnus’ back as he braced himself, and Magnus felt sparks of dizzying electricity course through his spine at the feel of it, warm and substantial on him. To an outsider, they probably looked picturesque, Alec cocooning the two of them in his warmth as Magnus held the little girl in his arms, and his yearning intensified, manifesting itself in a tightening around the region of his heart. A glance to the side confirmed his theory, as he found the family looking at them with various expressions on their faces. Isabelle looked giddy, while Maryse and Clary had watering eyes and were starting to sniffle quietly. Jace, Simon and Luke had what were unmistakably smug expressions painted on their faces, and Magnus, always plagued by his own realism, hyper aware of the ephemeral nature of the moment cleared his throat pointedly and turned to Lena, nuzzling her nose with his and making her giggle sweetly “What do you want to do now?”, he asked.

“I want to watch the pasta eating competition”, she replied in a reverent awe that had everyone laughing, breaking up what was bound to be an awkward aftermath.

Magnus let Lena lead him around the festival, showing him the different competitions taking place, and being his miniature translator. They watched the pasta competition, and Magnus was sure he never wanted to see another bawl of carbonara in his life after watching people shovel it in their mouths only for it to come rushing back up as they overwhelmed their poor stomachs. They nibbled on delicious schiacciate filled with mouthwatering Tuscan salami, followed by little pots of homemade tiramisu sold by Mrs. Ricci next to their stall, and then washed it down with some original wine Luke kept offering them. Well, him. Lena had hot cocoa from a vendor a few stalls over.

As dusk covered the area in a hazy grey, the last rays of sunlight hiding behind the canopy of hills overlooking the scene, the party began dispersing a bit. Vendors slowly closed their makeshift shops for the day, hoping to get some rest before starting all over again on the next. Revelers still roamed the place though, music still played and the ambiance in the air acquired a lazy quality to it, as if people were letting loose, letting go of the excitement of the day and the competitiveness that overwrought them during the day, to marvel and celebrate leisurely under the dark starry night.

Maryse bid them goodnight, dead on her feet after spending the entire day being a wonderful host. Clary was already slightly dozing in her husband’s arms, protective hands braced on her bulging middle as she snoozed audibly. She couldn’t be comfortable in that position.

“I’ll close down and make sure everything is set for tomorrow. You guys go ahead, you’ve done enough”, Alec chimed in, already holding a bin and gathering any trash that might have been left behind by passerby and clients.

Luke and Maryse nodded gratefully, helping Jace get Clary on her feet to get her into the car, parked a ways outside. Isabelle yawned from her perch on a stool and said, a bit louder than she needed to “I don’t really feel like driving in the dark tonight. You mind driving me back, Simon?”

Simon, who was stacking up chairs turned to her, and stammered a bit “Uh, I, it’s okay, just give me the car keys, and go with Jace. I’ll get the car home in prime condition, don’t worry"

If it wouldn’t make Isabelle embarrassed, Magnus would have face palmed himself. As it was, he couldn’t help but mutter “Idiot” under his breath, closely followed by a similarly muttered “Stupid” behind him. He turned to see Alec gazing at him with the same wide eyed expression he was sure he was sporting. They looked at each other and cracked up, finding kinship in the utter cluelessness of their friend. Simon was holding his hand up for Izzy to drop the keys into them, while she looked like steam was about to escape through her ears as she looked at him murderously. She shrugged and turned her back on him, saying nonchalantly “You know what? It’s not too dark. I think I’ll drive after all”.

Simon, panicky and fidgeting, followed after her saying “But you said you were tired. You shouldn’t drive if you’re tired, Iz”

Their voices faded into the night as they bickered about it, probably all the way to the car, and with a start, Magnus realized that he was the only one left with Alexander and Lena.

Alec, probably reaching the same conclusion, smiled at him shyly and said “Guess that means you’re riding back with us”

“Yeah, I guess”. Magnus rubbed the back of his head, feeling unusually sheepish. Lena handed him a trash bag and between the three of them, the place was looking spotless in no time. Alec stored the remaining jars of jam, wrinkling his nose in disgust so obvious that Magnus cracked up and said “What did that jam ever do to you?”

Alec looked at him and smiled “Nothing, I just don’t like it. None of us do”

“Then why does your mom make so much of it?”

Alec rolled his eyes and said, tone heavy with sarcasm “Because she’s in love”, and Lena giggled. Alec pointed at her and said “Don’t tell her I said that”, and Magnus smiled and got the conversation back on track “Care to elaborate on that?”

Alec started with an arched brow that told him exactly how cheesy he found the entire thing “When we first moved here, Luke was very much alone. Clary and Simon were away at school in Naples most of the time, and he had the big old house all to himself, so naturally, he parked himself at our kitchen table for most of the day. I honestly think that was how he and mom fell in love, just chatting over infinite snacks. Anyway, she found out that apricot jam was his favorite, and decided that she was going to make him some. He loved it so much she kept making it, and then he told the neighbors that it was an infinite delight and raved about it so much that she gave them some, and it snowballed until apricot jam became her whole shtick, despite Luke being literally the only person who liked it in our home. Even Clary and Simon prefer strawberry jam”

“That’s kind of romantic”, Magnus chimed in, and Alec gave him the stink eye “I thought you were allergic to apricots”

Magnus chuckled at his betrayed expression. How a six-foot tall man pouting at him could look so fucking endearing was beyond him, but Alexander managed somehow.

“I am”, he confirmed, “But I’m a romantic at heart, Alexander. I appreciate gestures”

“Jam is not a grand gesture, Magnus”, Alec grumbled, utterly disgruntled with him.

“Who said anything about grand?” he replied, putting all the trash they’d gathered in one big bag to take back with them. “I happen to believe that love is in the little gestures, the tiny teeny gestures. That’s how you can tell people love each other”

“Like what?”, chimed in Lena, looking thoughtful beyond her age.

“Well, for example, when I’d get sick as a child, my aunt Marla would always make me chicken noodle soup to make me feel better. It didn’t matter what kind of illness I had. Chicken noodle soup was a fixture. To me, that’s one way that Marla showed me she loved me”

Lena looked contemplative for a second before she turned to her father and asked “Like how you sing me lullabies when I wake up at night after having a bad dream?”

Magnus looked at Alec, who was blushing prettily under the twinkling lights and teased, cognizant of the burst of affection that was turning his insides into an absolute puddle “You sing?”

Alec looked sheepish as he replied, pink soft lips unfurling into a beautiful smile “You can’t prove that in a court of law”, then turned to Lena, rubbing his hand over her cheek “Yeah, exactly like that, sweetheart”.

Delighted with the answer, Lena skipped to the middle of the square that had significantly less people roaming through it than it did not half an hour ago. She hopped on the cobblestones, her forest green dress swirling around her, then she abruptly stopped and turned to face them “Daddy, can we go to our spot?”, she asked.

Alec looked at her, than at the sky, and said apologetically “Not tonight, Len. We have to drive Magnus home, and by then it’s a hassle to drive back. We’ll go next week”

Instead of looking put off or upset, Lena just shrugged and looked at Magnus “He can come with us”

“Len”, Alec said warningly, “Magnus is probably tired and wants to go home”. Magnus felt like he was watching a tennis match as his head flit about from Alec to his daughter, who looked immersed in a silent conversation. After what felt like hours, but was probably a few seconds of a tense western-movie-reminiscent stare-off, Lena stomped down the square until she reached him, and motioned for him to come closer. He leaned down a bit, and she motioned for him to get down. He kneeled slightly, to her eye level. She clasped his face between her small hands, green eyes shining bright, and Magnus could swear he heard Alec release a muttered “Oh my God” from somewhere behind him. He could barely stifle his laughter as Lena looked at him, brows notched in a serious frown “Magnus, are you tired?”, she asked seriously.

Even if he were, and he admittedly was not, Magnus would not defy those notched brows for anything, so he replied in the same serious manner “No, I’m not”

Lena’s lips twitched in a semi-smile before she remembered her mission and resumed her interrogator stance, and Magnus genuinely couldn’t understand how a kid so adorable could exist.

“Tell me”, she picked up, “Would you like to see the most beautiful starry night?”. Not waiting for his answer, Lena started using her hands to move his head in a hysterical looking nod, and Magnus couldn’t hold back his laughter then. He started cracking up, before agreeing to her plans. A sigh sounded from above them, and he looked up from where he’d fallen to his butt on the cobblestones, to see Alec looking at them with a mixture of resignation and begrudged amusement. He told Magnus in a conspiratorial whisper “I don’t know where she got the dramatics from, I swear”

Magnus remembered last night at dinner, when Jace tried to convince Clary for the hundredth time that Jebediah was the name to call their unborn child, and his theatrics as he told her that she didn’t love him enough to appreciate his love for the Mormon culture, and arched a brow at Alec “Yeah, I wonder”, he muttered, making Alec chuckle as he lent him a hand to get up.

As he was about to let go, Alec tugged him closer, making Magnus’ heart stutter slightly. It looked like he was about to kiss him, and as Magnus admitted to himself that he wanted that, had been wanting it for quite some time now, eyes trained on the luscious lips that were infinitely close and yet miles away, those lips parted to let out a stream of words. His lust hazed brain was yelling inside “ _Why are there words? What are the words for?_ ” and Magnus focused enough to hear Alec whisper gently “If you’re too tired, we can go home. You don’t have to do this, you know”

As close as they were standing, Magnus could feel the breath from Alec’s lips, wafting over his own, and try as he might, he couldn’t suppress the shiver that ran through him. Alec seemed to finally become aware of their proximity; because Magnus could swear that his eyes darkened a bit, pupils blown wide and breathing picking up, as his hand tightened on Magnus’ where they were still clasped between them.

It took too many brain cells for Magnus to be able to utter “No, it’s fine. I want to go”. Alec looked into his eyes, and for the first time, Magnus could notice that they weren’t just hazel. Flecks of brown and forest green distorted the ring of golden halo, giving them the illusion of rare jewels. Alec was looking at him, as if searching for something, some sign, and then his grip loosened and he took a step back, and Magnus couldn’t really tell if he had found what he was looking for, or he hadn’t. He didn’t feel brave enough to ask.

* * *

The drive to the super secret location, as Lena called it, didn’t take long at all, and as Alec’s truck came to a stop at the top of a hill, Magnus hopped out, and then let Lena out from the back seat. She hopped out and skipped to the back, waiting for Alec to let down the tailgate door. He lifted her into the back and she squealed, diving for a pile covered with tarp. Magnus took advantage to take stock of his surroundings, and was stunned mute by the beauty of the scene. They were on a hill that overlooked the village, and the lights of Florence in the distance. Rows of nearby vineyards adorned the sweep of the rolling hill. No light other than the full moon illuminated the space, a plain of lush green. Magnus let his head back and just breathed the sweetness of the summer air, the quiet that accentuated the chiming of crickets in the bushes, the utter languid air around him. He felt like he was in a magical whimsical fairytale, an inexplicable feeling rushing over him, filling his lungs. He heard his name being called, and turned around to see that Alec and Lena had made the bed of the truck into a dreamlike lair, with blankets and pillows strewn about in a haphazard manner. Lena called for him again, waving him over as she sat up in the middle of the pile, bare feet dancing a jig, smile brighter than the moonlight. Alec was sprawled on her left, back against the back of the cab, legs stretched before him. He looked entrancing in the moonlight, his pale skin basically shimmering, his dark hair soaking up the light, his eyes dark pools that promised all manners of things that Magnus felt more and more powerless to resist.

Magnus moved towards the pair, Alec’s eyes tracking him like a lazy lion, making him feel overheated and self-conscious. He reached the truck and exclaimed “Well, isn’t this a pretty setting you have here?”

Lena smiled and patted the thick wool blankets she was sitting on “Daddy and I come here all the time to watch the stars. I told you it’s beautiful. Come on, hop up”. She patted the space on her right, and Magnus hesitated momentarily, and then did just that, even as he knew that he was simply setting himself up for a world of pain in the long run.

He settled on the plush little makeshift bed, settling his spine against the back of the cab, mirroring Alec’s position. Lena just flopped between them, looking up at the stars, and for a few minutes there was nothing but the distant chirping of crickets. Lena started tracing the stars in the sky with her pointer finger, making constellations out of separate lines, creating stories out of thin air. Other than an inquiry about a certain shape in the sky here and here, she kept quiet, peacefully humming to herself, content to just be. Magnus was so aware of Alec, sitting just a few feet away, seemingly lost in his own world, head tilted up. They stayed like that for a while, until Lena was no longer humming, and Magnus looked down to see her eyes closed, her dainty hand curled under her cheek in a makeshift pillow. Before he could do anything, Alec had pulled an afghan out of somewhere and covered her with it. Magnus expected some invitation to get back now that she was asleep, but Alec just settled down in his place, making Magnus’ heart skip a traitorous beat. He wasn’t stupid enough to suggest they leave, so he just sat there, breathing in deep. Slowly, as if he were a fowl still learning to stand on his own, Alexander patted Lena’s hair, smoothing it over her head, and then put his hand down beside it, palm open in what Magnus considered to be a tentative invitation. Despite their nightly chats on the patio, they hadn’t really broached the subject of their attraction to each other. Magnus wasn’t presumptuous by nature, but even oblivious old him could tell that Alec liked him in some way or another, and yet, Magnus knew there was more to the story. There always was. There were too many variables, too many factors, so he hadn’t pushed. Beyond that superficial layer of harmless flirting they indulged in, he’d tried to keep himself from hoping or wishing for more, so he simply looked at that outstretched hand, daring it to get his hopes up, daring it to be his demise, and then he heaved a deep breath and approached it, nonchalantly, slowly, giving Alec plenty of time to retreat, to take it back before Magnus fell too deep to backtrack, before whatever this was turned into more than summer infatuation and a casual crush and the threads got too messy to manage, but Alec’s hand remained where it was, and Magnus’ blanketed it. Alec let out an audible breath and fit their hands more comfortably, twining their fingers and holding on tight.

Electricity coursed through Magnus’ hand, setting his heart galloping in wild abandon, and Magnus realized that it was no crush; it was no infatuation he was feeling. Somewhere along the way, he’d already fallen. He’d given little fragments of his heart in every story he shared, and had treasured and hoarded the little pieces of Alec he got to indulge in. Instead of the panic he expected, the feeling brought with it a sense of tranquility, and as he breathed in deep, Magnus thought that he finally understood. He understood what Marla had been trying to explain to him for so long. She had written about it once in her letters. The words had hit him with such a pang, he remembered reading them over and over until they had been etched into his memory. She had been telling him about some friends she had made and how happy they made her, and she’d said:

“ _There are moments in life, Magnus, where everything is as it needs to be. I can’t really explain it. It’s not a tangible thing, and not a definite moment in time. It’s the culmination of so many little details, and all of a sudden, you’re laughing at a friend’s joke or you’re listening to someone tell a story excitedly, and you feel it, a sense of deep and thorough belonging. It stems from within, like you’ve been looking for this moment your entire life, and your soul has finally recognized it. There it is, this thing we call home. I can’t really tell you that it’s about the people or the place or what, exactly. I think I found mine, Magnus. I hope that one day you write me back to tell me that you finally found yours_ ”

Illuminated by the moonlight, his hand drenched in the magical warmth of Alexander’s skin on his, listening for Lena’s deep calming breaths, mingled with the melodic chirping in the distance, Magnus looked up at the stars and sent a cosmic note of his own, to make up for the letter he was too late to pen to his aunt, a silent prayer and a most precious dream “ _I think I just did_ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading, guys. As always, please leave a comment telling me what you think so far. I love your feedback.
> 
> I'll see you for the next chapter as soon as I can, although it might be a bit late as I am away on vacation currently 🥰


	5. Chapter 5

“So?”

Alec looked up from the blurry bills he’d been unseeingly staring at for the past ten minutes, to find Jace and Simon standing in the doorway to his little office in the back of the winery. They both had eager puppy expressions on their faces and were looking at him with baited anticipation.

“So what?”

“You’re really going to make us ask, huh?” Jace grumbled, moving forward to plop himself onto one of the chairs in front of his desk.

“Did I miss something? What are you talking about?” Alec asked in complete confusion. He could admit that he wasn’t completely present this morning, but surely, he hadn’t missed out on something important enough to justify their questions?

Simon took the chair opposite Jace’s, and kicked his feet up into Jace’s lap, only to be promptly removed in a comedic sequence that Alec would’ve found very amusing, had he not been so confused.

Waving his hand in a “you know” gesture, Simon took up the inquisition “What happened last night, after we left? With Magnus?”

Call him an eternal optimist, but after the stern talking to he gave his mother after Lena had heard her chat with Isabelle, he had really thought that his meddling, nosy family would keep out of his personal life, but apparently, that was too much to ask from a bunch of assertive people with good intentions and too much time on their hands.

Alec sighed in resignation, pinning his brother and best friend with a withering glare.

“Don’t look at me!” exclaimed Jace, holding his hands up in surrender, “I was under strict instructions”

“Me too”, added Simon, smiling impishly, “although I have to admit, the twinkling lights, the ambiance were perfect. I hope you took advantage”

“Oh, yes, my eight-year-old daughter being there really set the mood”, Alec replied in a sarcastic tone, rolling his eyes at Simon. For some reason, the idiot seemed to find romance everywhere but his own life. One of these days, Izzy was going to kill him for how long he was taking to get his shit together, and Alec was going to let her, not that he could stop Isabelle from anything anyway. Alec had spent his childhood explaining to people all the scratches the cat left him with. _Spoiler alert: They didn’t have a cat._

Despite what he told his brother, something did happen with Magnus last night, or more accurately, something changed. For the past few weeks, Alec had looked forward to those nightly chats with the anticipation of a dying man getting his last breath of fresh air. Every night, Magnus shared a bigger morsel of himself, and every night, Alec felt like he was diving deeper into an abyss from which there was no return.

“That’s a cop out and you know it”, Jace said, shaking him from the memory. “Lena has nothing to do with this”

“She has everything to do with this” Alec volleyed back, feeling his temper rise slowly. He was so sick of having the same conversation over and over and over again. They couldn’t understand that he would never deserve it. Lena wasn’t holding him back. She was just a reminder of why he would never be good for anyone.

“You can’t use that girl as a buffer for never having a relationship, Alec. That’s not what Lydia would want”

“Don’t”, he muttered between clenched teeth, the steel in his voice unmistakable.

“No, you need to listen to me” Jace said, disregarding the obvious warning, “I’ve never pushed you before because you never seemed interested in anyone, but I don’t think anyone can miss the way you look at Magnus, Alec. Stop standing in the way of your own happiness. Lydia did not make you Lena’s guardian to punish you into a lonely life”

“Well, we can’t really ask her why she made me a guardian, can we, Jace?” Alec exploded, beyond irked that his brother would bring the subject up at all. He hated thinking about it, hated remembering why he was the one raising Lena in the first place, hated that the guilt had gotten so familiar that he wore it like a beloved cloak, that when his family made their usual attempts to alleviate it, it didn’t feel like a relief, but more like someone trying to take away the comfort of his own misery, trying to strip him naked, raw for the world to see.

If only being Lena’s father had been a hardship, if only it had been a miserable task to undertake, then Alec could at the very least convince himself that it was his penance and his atonement, but it was not. Loving that little girl was the easiest thing Alec had ever done in his life. He’d loved her when he was nothing more than a loving spoiling uncle, and he loved her more with every day he got the privilege of being her father. Sometimes, in the deep dark recesses of his own psyche, Alec could admit that it made him feel even guiltier, the fact that he was here, watching her go through all these milestones, grow and bloom into a wonderful person, when Lydia couldn’t.

Surely, if he tried explaining this to his family, they would be full of wisdoms about how Lydia had entrusted him with her child for a reason, that she knew he would do a good job if something ever happened to her, but that’s the thing, Alec thought with a burning pit in his stomach, nothing was supposed to happen to his best friend in the first place! She was supposed to be there, braiding her daughter’s hair and telling her bedtime stories. She was supposed to be Lena’s entire world and not some distant memory that Alec tried his best to keep alive through stories and little anecdotes. Alec was supposed to be the favorite uncle that spoiled Lena rotten. He wasn’t supposed to be the father and the disciplinarian, and that was something he would never stop feeling guilty about. How could he even think about finding love and happiness when he’d taken away that very thing from the people he loved most?

Jace looked apologetic, a suspicious sheen of sympathy coming over his eyes, grating over Alec’s nerves like screeching metal. He didn’t want their sympathy, he didn’t want their pity, and he didn’t need their understanding. He was fine on his own, he’d always been fine.

His heart however, promptly called him a liar. It beat treacherously, reminding him of a hand clasped in his, of a feeling of completion and utter relief, and Alec felt it twist, foreign emotions he did his best to try to suppress getting the best of him. Alec prided himself on being strong most days, but it appeared that when it came to Magnus, he was hilariously weak.

He couldn’t help wanting more of him, all of him, and it was driving him mental, playing a game of tug of war with his own heart. It wasn’t fair by any means, not to himself and definitely not to Magnus. Magnus who made the guilt recess for a bit, Magnus that shined like a sun in the darkest of nights, Magnus who made Alec want things he had no business wanting. He spent half his days praying that he would get that blasted phone call that got him out of their lives, and the other half praying that some miracle would make him stay forever. To say that his nerves were frayed as a result would be an understatement, and Jace and Simon seemed wholly unbothered by his near hysterical state. They just looked at him, unimpressed with his “excuses”.

It was Simon that surprised both of them by uttering quietly “We’ll stop meddling”, making Jace turn to him with a thunderous expression, obviously disgruntled that Simon was betraying their united front. He quickly diverted the talk to their latest batch of wine, trying to pinpoint the reason why it was coming out too sour, and Jace, always bored by them talking “shop”, left them to go back to his studio.

By the time dinner time rolled around, Alec needed a drink, or two. His brain hurt from running in circles, and he just wanted to unwind for a bit, except, when he changed out of his work clothes and joined the bustling activity at the dinner table, an absence was glaringly obvious. He stood there to the side, counting dinner plates and coming up one short for the fourth time.

“Where’s Magnus?”, he said, not recognizing the harshness of his own voice, too busy trying to keep the panic at bay. Isabelle looked up from where she was piling her plate with pasta and gave him a sheepish, almost guilty expression.

“Uh, he had some business in town, and decided to stay there tonight”, she shared, her eyes flitting away from him.

“Why didn’t you wait for him like you usually do? Is everything okay?”

Izzy shrugged “Yeah, he just didn’t want me to wait too late for him. He said he’ll be fine for one night”

Taking a second to check if she was hiding something, Alec stared at his sister, while everyone seemed suspiciously silent around them, and then took a seat at the table. Activity resumed in a rush, and Alec went through the paces of it, laughing at his brother’s usual antics, and making sure Lena finished her food, keeping up with everyone’s daily stories, but his mind was drifting, trying to make sense of the sudden emptiness in his gut, trying find some logical explanation for the spike of deep terror that had struck him at seeing one less seat at the table.

If anyone understood how sudden and unexpected life was, it was Alec. He kept his guard up, his chin down, and he waded through everything with the same stoic countenance that had gotten him through the death of his best friend and the sudden responsibilities that came with it. He didn’t do surprises, did not appreciate anything that disrupted the status quo, and when Magnus had set foot in their lives, Alec knew that life had had a trump card up its sleeve and it had just played it.

He could feel it in the air, that anticipation that change was on its way. It was mainly the reason why he’d avoided him at first, and when that had proven to be a massive fail, Alec had held onto the guilt and the memory of all that he was and all that he always would be to make sure that the status quo remained unchanged, but sitting at that dinner table, taste buds numb and ears ringing with the force of a truth he could no longer suppress, Alec closed his eyes and cursed under his breath, and he could swear that he heard Lydia’s chiming laughter on a phantom wind.

* * *

He was an idiot. There was no other explanation for why, despite his best efforts, Magnus was getting out of a cab and walking down the infinite dirt road leading up to the Villa while the twilight mellowed the sky for a starry night. He shouldn’t be here, not while his temper still simmered as much as it had all day. It was a recipe for disaster and Magnus knew that he was walking into a battlefield where the only potential casualty was his heart. After all, Alexander’s wasn’t on the line. No, Alexander’s heart wasn’t even part of the equation. That’s what Magnus had come to realize in the never-ending hours he’d roamed the city, trying to make sense of his storming thoughts.

It was a testament to how fast the world could sweep the rug from underneath you. See, Magnus hadn’t woken up mad. On the contrary, Magnus had greeted the day with a sunny smile and so much hope in his heart that he didn’t know what to do with. He’d spent the night in a state of euphoria that seemed excessive for a simple touch of the hands, but that had set the flame of yearning burning in his heart.

After getting home last night with a sleeping Lena leaning heavily against him, Magnus had tried his best not to let on to how affected he was by the evening, but Alec, intuitive Alec had just smiled that knee-weakening smile at him and uttered, in a voice so soft Magnus had barely heard it “I had fun tonight. I’m glad you came with us”

“Me too” Magnus had whispered, equally as soft, feeling his heart pound with how much he wanted him, how much he cared, even after a few weeks, and how conflicted he was about their entire situation. He had wanted to say something, broach the subject of an eventual “us” if such a thing would ever be in the cards, but Alec had had to put Lena to bed, and talk had been postponed until another occasion where Magnus would have the courage to make the first step. It was with that determination that he went through his morning, feeling optimistic and giddy, to Maryse’s infinite amusement. She'd tried her best to dig, asking prompting questions about how the rest of the night had went, and if anything exciting had occurred.

It had left Magnus feeling included. It was a novelty for him, but Maryse with a teasing glint in her eyes, trying to goad him and embarrass him the way a mother would, suffused Magnus’ being with warmth. With every day that went by, he felt like he was growing roots in this place, with these people, and although the concept was frightfully worrying, he couldn’t seem to do much to stop it. So, there he was, entertaining thoughts of togetherness, and skipping through the day when Isabelle had invited him to tag along for her afternoon shift at the shop. Having answered all his emails and checked up on the current projects in a call with Maia, Magnus promptly took her up on the offer, relishing spending time with one of his favorite people, and the perpetrator for his recent bout of happiness.

It was then that things had gone to shit. It had started innocently enough, or as innocent as Isabelle trying to get details out of him could get.

“So, what’s happening with you and my brother?”, she’d teased, eyes twinkling with mischief.

“What do you mean? We’re just friends”. Regardless of his own feelings on the subject, the fact remained true, so Magnus hadn’t felt like he was being particularly deceiving.

“Oh, really? Is that what we’re calling it these days?”. Isabelle had laughed at his withering glance and raised her hands in surrender “Fine, I’ll stop, but you should know that I’ve never seen my brother look at anyone the way he looks at you, if that changes anything”

Magnus’ heart had squeezed with hope, and he’d asked her coyly, knowing the subject was a sore one and that he had no right to delve into wounds that probably still festered underneath the surface “I’m sure that’s not true, Izzy. I.. I don’t know. Sometimes, I think there’s something there, and sometimes, I feel like I’m making it all up in my head. Could he still be hung up on Lydia?”

Isabelle had looked confused; instead of the sad or even uncomfortable expression he’d been expecting “Lydia? What does Lydia have to do with it?”

Magnus had shrugged, beyond awkward with the discussion, but every time he tried to broach it to Alexander, every time he tried to talk about Lena’s mom or ask what she was like, he shut down so fast and changed the subject. Magnus never pushed further, but to him, it was a sign, if anything, that he still hadn’t moved on from her, and if that was the case, Magnus needed to know, because his heart was already in deep, and no matter his faults, he was not a stickler for misery.

“I don’t know. Whenever I talk about her, he changes the subject, so I figured that maybe, he was still in love with her”

Isabelle’s fog of confusion had cleared abruptly, her eyes widening as she understood his meaning. “No, no, that’s not… Lydia and Alec weren’t together, Magnus. I thought you knew that”

“Um”, Magnus tried to think of any conversation where Alexander would have made that clear, and came up with nothing. It was true that he hadn’t specifically told him they had been, but he hadn’t really said much to dissuade him otherwise either. “I didn’t, actually. You mean that they weren’t in love when they had Lena?”, he inquired, and Izzy went pale, her eyes darting around the shop, as if she didn’t want to have this conversation now that they were in the thick of it. Magnus agreed. He couldn’t say he felt too comfortable having this conversation behind Alec’s back.

After a thorough deliberation Magnus could see swimming in Isabelle’s eyes, she heaved a defeated sigh and said “I, normally would ask you to talk to Alec about this, but I think I know why he hasn’t told you anything, and it’s the only reason I’m doing this”

By this point, Magnus had been worried out of his mind with possibilities, so when Isabelle has simply uttered “Lena isn’t Alec’s biological daughter. She’s his goddaughter, and when Lydia passed away, she left her guardianship to Alec, her best friend. They weren’t in love or out of it, Magnus. They were just friends”

The words had broken Magnus’ heart more than anything she could have said, and for a host of reasons. They hurt for the little girl who’d lost her parent before she could even remember the shape of her face, they hurt for the man who had lost his best friend, and they hurt for the makeshift family they had to make of themselves to shore up against the wave of tragedy that hit them. What had it been like, to find out you had lost a loved one, only to be left with the only piece of them that remained? His heart broke for the imagery of it, and he wanted to fold both Alec and Lena into a tight hug, to make them feel like they could lean on him if they wanted to.

Except Magnus was only human, and as most humans failed in focusing on the big picture, Magnus had been plagued with a different kind of hurt, one that was personal and wholly selfish, because he had thought that he meant something, he had thought that those nights of truth and companionship had opened doorways from one heart to the other, and that Alec had come to trust him implicitly. Yet, there he sat, realizing that Alec had lied, maybe not outright, but he had still lied, by omission and by swerving around giving any definitive answers to questions Magnus had asked with only the purest of intents, and that hurt was the most prominent of them all.

Isabelle could tell that she had just laid an unshakable truth on him, patting his knee and simply telling him to talk to Alec, because he had all the answers. Magnus hadn’t felt like it was something he could do, so when he had told her that he would spent the night in the city, booking a hotel room to get some distance and try and rebuild his defenses, her only answer had been a sad nod, that told him that she understood his reasons.

If only that had been what he had actually done, if only he had stayed in that hotel room and wallowed and moped, and tried to figure out what it was that he and Alec meant to each other in light of this new information, but with every moment he’d lain on that white impersonal duvet, deprived on the warmth of his room back at the villa, the more moonlight seeped through the white drapes on the window, reminding him of an upcoming rendezvous he would not be able to keep, the more furious he became, agitated that Alec would keep this information from him, would make him doubt their friendship and his burgeoning feelings and his entire perception of the truth.

What further stoked his fire was his lack of self-control, because try as he might to convince himself that he’d gone back to set the record straight, to tear Alec a new one, and demand some proper understanding, it wasn’t the only reason. Hell, deep down, Magnus knew it wasn’t even the main reason. The truth was that even steaming and furious, he wanted to be near him. It was absolutely positively maddening, but it was the truth. He wanted to rage at him and shake him and ask him for the truth, but most of all, he wanted him.

The fact that he was being selfish in his desires didn’t make it any less true, so like the fool he was, he had called a cab and made his way here, where he was stomping up the road, unlocking the gate to the main house and going straight around to the patio. Call it a hunch, or just indomitable hope, but he knew what he would find when his eyes adjusted to the quiet darkness, the lone figure bathed in the dim light, sipping a glass of wine and staring off into the distance. The gravel under his shoes must’ve alerted him to his presence, because Alexander’s head swerved in his direction, a smile unfurling at the sight of him, a smile that only managed to make Magnus more incensed.

How dare he smile at him like that? Like they had a secret no one else was privy to. How dare he, even in the haze of anger and a sense of betrayal, make Magnus’ heart go crazy, jumping in his ribcage out of yearning?

“Hey, I thought you were staying in the city tonight!” Alec said with quiet contentment, as if everything was exactly as it ought to be in the world, his hand reaching up to the coffee table to uncork the bottle of wine. “I don’t know if it was the force of habit, but I brought out two glasses”, he laughed, pouring a second glass, “It felt weird to be drinking alone”

Magnus settled across from him, feeling his skin stretch too tight. He took the glass that Alec offered him, aware that he still hadn’t said a single word. He looked into the depths of his glass, trying to come up with a segue into the subject, but it looked like the wine didn’t have any more answers than he did.

“You okay?” Alec started hesitantly, when the silence got too uncomfortable to be natural.

“Alec, what are we doing?” Magnus blurted out, and _God damn it_ , this was not how he’d wanted to start this. He believed himself to have more decorum than this, but, fuck it all, he was hurt!

Alec’s brows notched in confusion as he put down his glass and stapled his fingers, elbows propped on his knees as he leaned forward in his seat “What do you mean?”

“I mean, here, on this patio, every night. What is this, Alec?”, Magnus replied, and he didn’t know if it was the shortened name, or the fact that Magnus was breaking the silent rule they’d fallen into of never actually spelling out whatever it was they were to each other, but Alec’s face twisted as a look of utter betrayal crossed his eyes.

“I… I thought we were friends”, Alec replied, his voice going hoarse on the words, and Magnus’ heart squeezed a bit, and he wanted to hit himself because that was supposed to be the answer he needed, that was the reason he was so mad in the first place, but it also hurt to hear it out loud, that Alec’s feelings towards him were nothing more than that, friendship.

“I thought we were too, until I realized that while I thought I was getting to know you, while I opened my soul up for inspection night after night, you only aired out the parts that you wanted. You only let me in on the little insignificant pieces. The rest...Well, let’s just say that now, I know why you always changed the subject”

A hint of wariness entered Alec’s eyes, and he straightened in his seat, muscles stiffening a bit, as if he were putting on armor to face the upcoming battle, and that hurt too, because it was one thing to have omitted something because it didn’t come up, or because he’d genuinely hadn’t considered its consequences, and it was entirely another for Alec to have intentionally and deliberately misled him about his life. Alec’s reaction spelled out the latter, and all of a sudden, Magnus was drained. He’d spent the entire day filled with righteous anger and hurt pride, but now that he’d finally made it here; he was so over it all.

_What was he doing?_ Was he honestly so conceited as to think he had a right to demand anything of this man? Had the summer sunshine gotten to his head so hard that he was actually considering himself a functioning member of this family, allowed to feel indignation and betrayal over a family secret? He was suddenly hit with an all-encompassing sadness. Maybe this was the wake-up call he needed to bring his head down from the clouds, to stop dreading Catarina’s calls because each one might be the one that meant he had to leave, so Magnus just put his glass of wine on the table, still untouched and didn’t wait for Alec’s answer to his idiotic inquiry. He heaved himself off the chair, and looked everywhere but Alec’s face as he said “You know what? Forget I said anything. I clearly stood too long in the sun today. I think I’ll go to sleep. Goodnight”

He started back to the house when sharp words were spoken at his back. “You don’t get to do that”, Alec said, and Magnus turned to see his eyes flickering with an emotion he’d glimpsed sometimes, under the veil of darkness, when Alec got relaxed enough to slip up. It was now raging in his eyes, a living flame that burned bright, and Magus knew he was about to be seared. “You don’t get to open this can of worms and just leave it. Who told you?”

“It doesn’t matter, Alec. Just forget it”

“It was Isabelle, wasn’t it? I knew that guilty expression of hers spelled trouble”

“ _You_ should’ve told me. I should’ve heard it from _you_ , before anyone else. Izzy only said something because she thought I already knew, but it seems that she overestimated how much you trusted me”

“It had nothing to do with trust, Magnus”, Alec said steadily, and Magnus was hit with the realization that he didn’t sound apologetic nor sorry for anything. If anything, he sounded more resolute by the minute.

“Did you think I’d care that Lena wasn’t biologically yours? Did you think I’d care less for her? It would’ve been another story if I hadn’t asked and inquired, but I had, Alec. You know I have, and you lied at every turn”

“I never lied to you”

“A lie by omission is still a lie”

Alec just looked at him steadily, and when he spoke, his voice was hoarse, wary and broken, like it held up the weight of the world “What do you want from me, Magnus?”

That was the crux of it, wasn’t it? How long had they played this game of reluctant chase, darting their eyes away every time that indescribable connection of theirs shined through, even as their fingers found purchase in each other, clinging to an impossible hope. Magnus had wanted to lay every card he had on the table for a long time now, and had felt like it wasn’t his place. After all, Alec had had more to lose than he had. And now, here they were, a ticking bomb finally at its final countdown, and Magnus could either say he wanted nothing and leave, or he could take a leap and ask for a chance, a chance to feel what he felt without the indomitable hand of fate pushing on them, reminding them that they were an inevitable wound that was just waiting to be let out to bleed and fester. And so, Magnus, who had very rarely leapt, remembered Marla, and his eternal regrets, and said “I want you to admit that you feel what I feel, I want you to tell me that I’m not the only one falling into an abyss from which there seems to be no return, because I’m floundering, Alexander, and I am so scared, but for however long I have in this place, I want to spend it exploring what we are, what we might be”

His words had tumbled out of him, rushing to leave his mouth before he lost his nerve and left them trapped within. They had scarcely left him, left hanging in the ether when Alec’s eyes filled with tears. Magnus couldn’t delude himself into thinking them tears of joy, because the sad smile that accompanied those swimming eyes shattered that illusion.

“Oh, Magnus, it was never about feeling. You think I don’t feel the same? You think that you don’t make me feel a riot of things I have no business delving into? What I feel is of no consequence. It has never been. You deserve so much, and I can’t, Magnus. I don’t have anything inside me to give”, he said with a quiet finality, his voice still as resolute as ever, as if he would never waver from his stance, a boulder in the middle of the stream.

Magnus recalled every moment he saw him play with Lena, every moment he joked with his siblings, cared for him mother, clapped Luke on the back in open camaraderie, and knelt by him, framing his face with gentle shaking hands “I thought I told you to stop lying to me”

“I’m not lying. I… I can’t give you what you need”

“Can’t, or won’t? Don’t presume to know what it is I need, Alec. I’m not fragile”

That same sad mile unfurled on Alec’s face, as his trembling hands rose to lay above his own “She wasn’t fragile either, and yet, I broke her”

Magnus didn’t need to wonder whom he meant. “Lydia”

At her name, Alec’s face just crumbled, and if it weren’t for Magnus’ hands holding it, his head would have bowed to the floor. His voice was a mere whisper, as if anything louder would end him “I killed her, Magnus. I’m the reason she’s gone. I’m the reason Lena doesn’t have her mom anymore”

The words pierced Magnus’ heart like a well sharpened arrow, and he didn’t know when he’d acquired this unflinching faith in Alexander, but he didn’t doubt him for a second “You didn’t. Whatever it was, it wasn’t your fault”

Tear-stained eyes looked into his, and Alec just stated “That’s the thing. It was. It was entirely my fault”

Magnus wanted nothing but to smother him in warmth and tell him that it was all going to be just fine, but Alec had been living with an oozing festering wound for what appeared to be seven years. It was high past time it was cleansed out. Magnus leaned forward, marking Alec’s forehead with his lips, inhaling the earthy sweet scent of his wild hair, and then asked “Will you tell me what happened?”

Alec didn’t nod nor protest, but his eyes looked far away, stuck in some distant memory, and slowly, he began recounting: “I still remember the day she told me she was pregnant. I was fresh out of college, and she was a senior, and she’d been with this prick, Victor, for the past year. No matter how much I told her he was bad news, she fancied herself in love, so I stayed out of it. She came to me one day, eyes puffed up and red, and said that he’d split the second she told him she was pregnant. I wasn’t exactly surprised, but I refrained from saying “I told you so”. She was my best friend, the first person I came out to, and the person who held my hand when I told my mom and my siblings. Her parents had died in a car crash when we were juniors in high school, and she had no one else but us. Lena was part of our family long before she was born. I remember that I used to read to Lydia’s midsection because I wanted her to know my voice. Lyd would just shake her head in amusement and ask me if I was going to be the uncle that chased off the dates and the suitors. I would smile and say that I would be the guy that covered for her when she stayed out past curfew. I was going to be the cool uncle. I was going to be her favorite person”. He stopped and smiled then, his eyes shining with reminiscence. Magnus didn’t want to interrupt the flow, but he wanted Alexander to know that he was there, and that he would remain through the story, so he moved to the seat, forcing Alec to make room for him. The moment he did, Alec leaned into him and sighed, and Magnus could swear that sigh felt relieved. After a few beats, he picked up the thread of the story. “When Lena was born, Lydia became a different person. She’d never been wild or crazy, but she became steadier, wiser, as if her whole life had led her to being Lena’s mother, and she had finally found a purpose. She made all kinds of plans. How she would provide for them, what activities she wanted the two of them to do together, a whole future mapped out. Even through the sleepless nights, and the baby wails, she remained unshakable, smiling with dark circles beneath her eyes, alive”. His voice went taut on the word, and Magnus knew that the hard part was coming up, and despite all the pushing and prodding he’d done, he couldn’t bear to hear more pain enter Alec’s voice, so he threaded their fingers and squeezed reassuringly “It’s okay, you don’t have to keep going if you don’t want to”

Alec just squeezed back, and continued, as if afraid to break the spell, as if he too, wanted to get the words out, to cleanse his spirit of them “One day, I got a phone call from an unknown number. It was Victor, Lena’s dad. It was the first we’d heard of him since Lydia got pregnant. He said he wanted to talk to me, so naturally, I went”

“What did he want?”, Magnus asked, his thumb drawing soothing circles in Alec’s palm.

“What all consummate gamblers with debts to pay wanted: money! He said that he wanted money or he would start fighting Lydia for custody. I wasn’t dumb, I knew he had no chances of taking Lena away from Lydia. He had no rights. He had a record. He was a bad man, through and through, and any judge of law would figure that out in a minute, so naturally, I called his bluff and warned him away. I thought that would be the last of him”

“It was my firm’s annual Christmas party, and I thought Lydia could use a night out. She’d stopped having a social life beyond my family since Lena was born, and I cajoled and pushed and begged until she agreed to go as my date. I had just broken up with my boyfriend, so it worked out perfectly”. He stopped and chuckled morosely, muttering as if to himself “It all sounds so stupid now. I don’t even remember why we broke up. I even have trouble remembering his face correctly. As vivid as that night is in my head, those details just…faded. I wish it all had”

When the silence stretched, and Alec seemed once again lost in a haze, Magnus spoke softly, prompting him to continue “What happened that night, Alexander?”

“It was around midnight when the babysitter called, a teenager that lived across the street that Lydia had paid to keep an eye on Lena. Everyone in my family was otherwise occupied. Maybe if they weren’t, things would’ve been different, but… The kid called, frantic, talking about a drunk guy who was pounding on the door, demanding that Lydia let him see his daughter. I remembered how desperate he sounded when he’d come to me for money, and I just went into panic mode, thinking of all the different scenarios of what he’d do to get his hands on her. Lydia and I got on the road, and I drove like a bat out of hell. No matter how many times she told me to slow down and mind the icy roads, no matter how many times she told me that we wouldn’t be any good to Lena if we got killed on the way there, all I could see was the wild look in his eyes”

He swallowed roughly, and his voice got fainter, burdened by the strain of the memory “I don’t even remember the crash. It was all just a blur of white and light, and screeching metal. When I came to, the car was upside down under a pile of snow, and Lydia wasn’t waking up. Apparently, she’d died on impact. And me”, he chuckled harshly, the sound devoid of any trace of amusement “There wasn’t a scratch on me, Magnus. Not even a scrape. It took the response team two hours to reach us”

If Alec had touched his cheek then, his hand would come away wet, silent streams falling from his eyes for the tragedy of a young life lost, a grieving friend holding the guilt and the blame like Atlas held up the world, a bright child who was deprived of a mother, and the hand of fate at work, devising plans that no one could escape.

It was obvious from Alec’s hiked up shoulders that he expected a response from him, and Magnus didn’t know if he expected recrimination or pity or flowery words of forgiveness, but it wasn’t Magnus’ right to take away the guilt, and it wasn’t his right to offer forgiveness. He had to find that within himself. The only thing Magnus found himself capable of doing was resting his cheek on Alec’s straining shoulder, offering a comfort that no words could imitate. A strangled breath escaped the man before his shoulders slowly relaxed, muscles unfurling gradually as the tension left him in waves. He leaned in, borrowing into the warmth, and leaned his cheek on Magnus’ head. They stayed in silence, one absorbing the tale, and one most likely reliving it, and when even the crickets stopped chirping in the night, as if straining to hear what was to be said, Magnus spoke in a calm reassuring voice, hoping he conveyed the steadiness he was willing to offer “I didn’t get the chance to know her, but I know that Lydia would be proud of Lena, and she would be proud of you. Whatever you believe, believe that. I’ve seen you with that little girl, and I can tell you with complete honesty, she would be so proud of you. I know I am”.

Magnus didn’t know how long they stayed there, twin figures in the night, looking out at the rolling fields, watching the night go by in its unwavering steadiness. If Magnus felt a little wetness in his hair, he did not mention it. A man had the right to cry in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Let me know what you think down below :)
> 
> See you soon with another update. xo


	6. Chapter 6

“I’m telling you, the Blackthorns loved the campaign. We’re moving into production shortly, and apparently, they’re considering an even bigger campaign scope, so it’s good news all around”, Maia shared, her smile shining even through the screen.

Magnus tried his best to show his enthusiasm, even with his thoughts swirling around “That’s great, M. So that leaves only the Starkweather project in progress, right?”

“Yeah, we’ve scheduled a meeting with this new start-up that are looking for some material, so more influx is due to be happening soon”, she checked her notes, making sure to keep him in the loop as she had for the past month. She never complained or asked when he would be home, and for that, Magnus loved her indefinitely.

“That’s.. that’s really good, Maia. I’m sorry you’re left handling this on your own”

She waved away his concerns “Nonsense, the team is self-sufficient at this point. I barely had to do anything”

Magnus knew her enough to know that was the farthest thing from the truth, but still, he didn’t call her out on it.

She finished writing down all the notes they’d taken during this meeting, then put away her notebook and crossed her arms and leaned forward in her chair, looming bigger on the screen “Okay, spill. What’s eating at you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, that you’ve been opening and closing your mouth for the past ten minutes, hesitating over something. What’s going on?”

Magnus had, in fact, wanted to broach something with her, but the reason he was hesitating had nothing to do with Maia, and everything to do with himself. After all, once the words were out, there would be no denying himself, no chance at breezy goodbyes and unaffected façades, but Maia was looking at him steadily, a dog with a bone, so he cleared his throat and tried to seem completely nonchalant “So, you remember our talk about expansion before I came to Italy?”

“Yeah, we said we’d discuss it more when you got back”

Magnus let out a long breath and bit the bullet “Does the expansion have to be stateside?”

Maia seemed to understand where he was going with this, and a sad expression entered her eyes as she said “Oh Magnus, honey…”

Magnus felt his heart drop and started shaking his head “No, don’t worry, it was just a stupid idea, forget I said anything, really”

“I wish we could make it work, but the budget would be huge, plus we don’t even know if it would work. We’d have to do a thorough market study. The European market is a whole other ballpark. I’m sorry”, she continued in her soothing voice, looking extremely apologetic.

“I know”, Magnus reassured her, “I guess, I’m just entertaining some stupid fantasy”. His smile did nothing to lessen the worried frown on her face, and she leaned back in her chair and said congenially “You want to tell me about him?”

“About who?”

“About the guy that’s got you contemplating moving continents, Magnus”, she asked with an arched brow, unimpressed with his attempt at nonchalance.

If only it were that simple, Magnus wanted to say. If only it were just a guy like any other, then maybe Magnus would’ve been able to keep his head about him. Maybe he would have had more self-control. As it was, Magnus had fallen in love with a family, with a home, with the most beautiful souls he’d ever come across, and it was absolute torture. Whoever had coined the phrase “It’s better to have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all” had clearly never met the Lightwoods, with their infectious zeal for life, with their perseverance in the face of tragedy, with their strong willful characters, with their warmth and open welcome.

Magnus could no longer delude himself into thinking he was merely on the precipice of something. He had jumped way before that night when Alexander had bared his soul, and he was still in free-fall, hoarding every single one of his little smiles, hoarding Lena’s infectious giggles, hoarding Maryse’s warm gaze, and Isabelle’s friendship, Simon’s open curiosity, and Clary’s steady gentleness; hoarding Luke’s mischievous temperament, and Jace’s brotherly cajoling. He was a dying man taking his last breaths, trying to make each one last for eternity, and he didn’t want to let them go; none of them, least of all, Alexander.

“He’s… I don’t even know how to explain him, Maia. He’s good and kind and caring and loving and everyone seems to see it but him. His family worships the ground he walks on, and his little girl looks at him like he hangs the stars”

“And you?”

“What about me?”

“How do you look at him?”

Magnus let out a harsh chuckle, because how was he supposed to answer that? Was he supposed to mention that with every day that went by, Alexander became the north to which his compass pointed? Was he supposed to say that looking at him made something deep in Magnus go still, all his agitation and restlessness gone in the face of the possibilities he presented? Or was he supposed to mention how he’d become intrinsic, the sight of him the only thing Magnus looked forward to every single day? Words couldn’t possibly convey that, could they? They were, after all, nothing but letters strung together in an attempt to make sense of jumbled emotions and Magnus knew his emotions were too much, too strong, too destructive for the both of them. After all, Alexander believed himself incapable of providing any sort of emotional support, and while Magnus fully believed that to be false, he couldn’t beg him to love him. No, Alec had to find his own way, and Magnus just hoped that he didn’t take too long, for both their sakes.

“I look at him like he could become something special”, he finally replied, giving Maia an answer that wouldn’t cause her to worry all the way in New York, and provide him with enough assurance that he hadn’t outright lied to his best friend.

Yet, perceptive Maia just stared at him steadily, then said in a resigned, slightly apologetic tone “I’m afraid he already is, Magnus”

He was about to answer her when his phone rang, and Magnus looked at it to see Cat’s name flashing on the screen, and call it intuition or just plain consummate dread, but Magnus’ heart dropped swiftly, and some sort of expression must’ve shown on his face because Maia went “Magnus? What is it?”

“It’s Catarina”, he said, and saw Maia wince slightly before she tried reassuring him “It could be something else”

He appreciated her efforts, but they both knew that he’d been operating on borrowed time, and as he picked up the call and put the phone to his ear, his friend started chattering excitedly, and Magnus found out that that time had just come to an end.

* * *

Wiping at his shirt with a dirty rag, Alec toed off his boots because he did not need his mother’s wrath, and stepped into the house. For the middle of the afternoon, the house was suspiciously quiet, and as he stopped in the doorway to the open floor kitchen, Alec felt his heart plummet. Clary and Izzy were sitting at the kitchen counter, looking into twin mugs of tea like they held the secrets to the universe, while his mother rubbed Lena’s back soothingly. His daughter looked like she’d been crying for a year, eyes red and puffy and nose running, and Alec felt his blood pressure go through the roof with the speed his brain was going through possibilities of what had occurred. “What’s going on?”

The group startled, as if emerging from a deep fog and Alec found himself even more concerned. The three women shared glances between themselves as if each delegating the task to the other, until his mother sighed and told him in a defeated tone “Magnus is leaving”

Throughout his life, Alec had learnt a lot about expectations. He’d learnt that having any, good or bad was always a recipe for disaster. When you tried to outlive life before it happened, building hopes and dreams, or dreading and worrying your days away, you not only took joy away from the moment, but you had to deal with the consequences, which were often disappointing, twice. After Lydia’s death, his whole life had turned upside down. His priorities had realigned themselves like a puzzle that was slowly being filled out, surely and perfectly, until a moment where you were left with a stray piece that wouldn’t fit anywhere, and you realized that you’d been building the wrong picture all along. When he had held that little screaming bundle at the hospital, still in shock that she would never know the warmth of her mother’s arms, Lena had felt like that stray piece of the puzzle, and he’d known that he’d hit that dead end, like all his expectations of what the future would hold had become null, all his corporate dreams obsolete, all his nights of going out to party and spending the weekend working in the office unimaginable. In that moment, the future had rearranged itself to fit that one puzzle piece and the whole picture had changed. He’d promised himself right then, that he would not have expectations. He made sure to live each day like it was a brand new blank page that needed to be filled out with the unknown, even as he dragged baggage and a wealth of emotions with him though it all.

Right then in his kitchen doorway, Alec realized that he’d slipped up, that sometime during the last month, he’d fucked up beyond belief and the hope of what to expect out of every new day had snuck up on him, painting a possibility of the future that was far from probable, and now, here he stood, those same expectations dashed to the floor, lying at his feet like the heart he had long thought to be defective, but that had surprisingly kept on beating.

He looked up at his family to see that his mom was still talking, probably explaining the circumstances of Magnus’ departure, unaware that he’d stopped being cognizant of the world around him since then. “Wait, wait, back up, I… Can you say it again?”

“Which part?” his mother inquired.

“All of it”, he said evenly, and her gaze went impossibly sad at those words. Unwilling to leave himself exposed, Alec moved to the counter and slid into a stool, motioning for a still sniffling Lena to come to him. She didn’t need to be told twice. Hopping off her chair, she rounded the table and climbed into his lap like she used to do when she was a toddler, burying her face in his chest as he rocked her from side to side and played with her hair. He motioned for his mom to continue and she cleared her throat. “His lawyer called. Apparently, the executioner of the will is finally back in the country, and he was enraged to find out that the bank had caused trouble for Magnus. He said that he would immediately get the paperwork going to acquire the safety deposit box, and”, she hesitated, before forging on “he told Magnus that there was no need to stay in Florence. The box would be delivered to his place of residence when obtained”

Alec rued efficient lawyers and quick procedures and this whole mess that was changing everything once again, and asked his mom “Where’s Magnus now?”

“He’s upstairs, packing. His lawyer got him a flight for tomorrow. Apparently, some emergency at the office came up and the timing was perfect”. Too perfect if you asked him, but that was not something he was willing to share with his mother. That was a conversation he needed to have with Magnus himself.

A quiet muffled sniffle escaped the quaking form in his arms, and Alec looked down at another victim of this hasty departure. “Hey Bug, want to look up at me for a minute?”

Lena just shook her head from side to side, tightening her arms around his midsection, and Alec sighed. He’d thought that he had spared her from dealing with the pain of losing a loved one, but he’d forgotten that his little girl had the most enormous heart out of anyone he knew. Love came as naturally as breathing to her, and from the amount of time she had spent with Magnus, it was only natural that she would feel miserable, but he wanted to raise someone with more strength in life than he had, so he told the top of her head “Lena, sometimes, things don’t go the way we want them to in life. It’s not anybody’s fault and no one is to blame, but it happens, and it’s horrible and terrible and the worst, really, but there is nothing we can do about it but accept it and try to move on. Magnus isn’t leaving you because he wants to, sweetheart, but he has a life he needs to get back to, and just because he won’t be around doesn’t mean that you can’t call or keep in touch with him. He’ll always be your friend”. Normally, he wouldn’t feel comfortable making promises for someone else at the expense of his daughter’s peace of mind, but he knew Magnus enough to know that he cared about Lena and would not cut her out of his life. It was the only reassurance he had at this point. Everything else felt up in the air right then.

Lena sniffled again, and lifted her head gingerly, propping her chin on his chest as she looked up at him “I know all that, Dad. But why does he have to go?”, she said as tears once again filled her eyes, and Alec honestly wanted to let himself weep with her, because the basicness of her question was what ate away at him as well. The correct answer was obviously that Magnus had a life back in New York, that he was always going to leave and that it wasn’t fair to anyone to try and make him feel bad for only going back to his life, and that was exactly what he told her, soothing her and wiping away her tears until she calmed down, but he couldn’t help but call himself a hypocrite, because no matter the amount of logic and rationality he put into his thoughts, the ball of dread lodged in his sternum refused to move.

He would have thought dinner would be a miserable affair, what with everyone’s spirits plummeted to the ground, but surprisingly, and dare he say, admirably, his family had rallied, put up bright smiles and cracked jokes, adamant to make Magnus’ final night a good memory to remember. Luke led the crusade, his ever jolly temper in place, unbothered by the big dark cloud of gloom that seemed to be hanging above their heads, or maybe it was just his. As Alec looked around the table, seeing his family’s bright expressions and Magnus’ beautiful laughter, he realized that maybe it was just his blight, to be feeling like he was losing a vital part of his soul with every minute that went by. He hadn’t spoken to Magnus alone yet, didn’t even pretend to know where to begin. All he knew is that there were words to be said, and that Alec was wholly unequipped to say them. He kept stealing glances at him from across the table, while Magnus seemed to have forgotten he was even present. It was like he was a ghost at that dinner table, the only harbinger of doom to their jolly merriment, and Alec wanted to shout at them to stop, to stop pretending like it was fine that Magnus had carved himself a place within their lives only to leave a gaping hole in instead, to stop pretending like they didn’t care or that it didn’t matter that he was leaving. However, he remained silent, busying himself making sure that his daughter was alright, fully aware that his stoic façade was sticking out like a sore thumb.

“So, Clary, you have to tell me, what’s the verdict? Did Jace convince you of any name so far?” Magnus teased, smiling gently at his sister-in-law, who, despite having piled heaps of mashed potatoes on her plate, was merely swirling the fork around, appetite seemingly gone.

She lifted her head, smiling back at him as she flicked her husband’s ear “Nope. He has to pay up apparently”

In almost comical succession, Simon, Isabelle and Jace turned their heads to stare at Clary in complete shock, and she cracked up, holding her hand to her sternum as tears of mirth pooled in her eyes “Did you really think you were subtle about it? ‘It was my great grandfather’s Christian name on my father’s side’.”, she mocked, “How on earth did you think that lie would actually work?”

Jace swallowed convulsively as he stammered “Um, you’re, not mad?”

Izzy and Simon had conveniently found the bowl of roasted carrots fascinating, doing their best to avoid eye contact with Clary. She, on the other hand, just shook her head, still smiling widely as she continued “To be honest, it was fun seeing what kind of bull-…”, she looked at Lena, who was sedately playing with her fork, “kind of lie you would try to sell me every day”

The table cracked up, Luke hooting as he high-fived his daughter for stellar dinner entertainment she’d unwittingly provided every day for a while, and Simon and Isabelle demanding their winnings.

It was then, as everyone talked over each other, laughter echoing off the stone pillars and clacking of cutlery abound that Magnus’ eyes finally landed in his direction, as if he were bracing himself throughout the whole meal to look at him, and fuck if Alec’s eyes didn’t feel hot the second their gazes locked. Even as he felt his throat close up, he silently ordered himself to keep it together.

Magnus’ head tilted, as if inquiring if he was okay, and Alec almost lost it right then. He wanted to drop to his knees and beg him not to leave, beg him not to go, not when Alec had barely found him, not when he’d barely had the chance to hoard some pieces of him. There was far too much of him left to know, and too much of him left to uncover, and maybe Magnus’ warmth would finally fill the empty spaces inside him if they had more time. On the outside though, he just shook his head slightly, a silent “don’t worry about it” to appease the man, then he went back to observing the table. For the first time, he didn’t feel like part of the chaos of it, but rather a spectator on the outside looking in, drifting on the edges as his feelings churned, ebbed and flowed and hit him again and again with the certainty that he’d been wrong. It wasn’t that Alec didn’t have anything inside; it was that he had too much.

* * *

Magnus settled on the window seat, repositioning himself this way and that, trying to find a comfortable position to wait. He felt awkward and out of place, which he probably was. After all, he wasn’t in the habit of invading people’s personal space unannounced and waiting for them like a creep, but tonight was an exceptional circumstance. Everyone had already retired for the evening, Isabelle making plans to drive him to the airport in the morning. He could feel her itching to ask why it couldn’t be Alec, and Magnus wouldn’t have known how to answer that question. He guessed it was for the same reason that he wasn’t outside on the patio right now, despite knowing that Alec was most likely there, waiting for him. Some things, Magnus decided, were better left untainted by goodbyes. He wanted the memory of the sanctuary he’d found in that place to remain shiny and pure and forever hopeful. He didn’t want to give himself the opportunity to waver from his decision. He knew it was horrible of him to fake an emergency to leave, but in all honesty, what was the point of dallying when the future was set in stone? What was the point of dragging out the pain of saying goodbye, spending every day just getting closer to a ticking time bomb? It would be akin to settling under a cloudy sky and hoping to God he wouldn’t get drenched. He was too realistic for that, and thus, he’d run. He’d elected to leave while his will still permitted it, and that was why he was now sitting in Alexander’s room, looking out at the starry night, his heart in his throat and his hands shaking, trying to shore up the nerve to say goodbye to the most precious thing he’d ever found.

It was almost an hour into his wait when the door knob turned, the tall silhouette hesitating at the light that was softly flooding the space from the bedside lamp Magnus had left on. He wasn’t trying to give the man a heart attack lurking in the dark.

Alec held a bottle of wine in his hand, sans glass, and looked warier than Magnus had ever seen him. The second his gaze fell on him sitting at the windowsill, his entire being deflated and he stepped into the room, closing the door behind him as he leaned his frame against it.

“Hi”, he said hesitantly, his voice hoarse.

“Hi”, Magnus echoed, fidgeting in his seat.

“I waited for you outside”, Alec continued, tone more defeated than accusatory, and Magnus nodded his head “I figured”

Alec seemed to understand somehow, the reasoning behind Magnus’ decision not to join him, because he stepped deeper into the room and said stoically “So, we’re doing this here, then?”

“I guess”, Magnus said, looking at his feet where they dangled from his perch by the window. Alec let out a deep breath and settled on the edge of his bed, clasping his hands between his legs as he twisted them in what couldn’t be a comfortable manner.

Magnus opened his mouth and closed it again; all the words and the speeches he’d been building in his mind disappearing as the utter and complete sadness of the situation overwhelmed him. It was unfair they had to part as strangers when in their hearts, they both knew they were anything but. It was unfair that the world hadn’t given them the chance to be more before it swept the rug from under them. It was unfair that Magnus knew what the taste of completion felt like only to have it ripped from him like this. As he tried to find an opener, Alec spoke softly, eyes still trained on his clasped hands “You realize that you’re the best thing that ever happened to me, right?”

Magnus felt caught off guard completely, gaping at Alec as his heart thundered in his chest. Alexander lifted his head, mouth quirking to the side at his flabbergasted expression “I know you were probably expecting me to act aloof and just feed you some bullshit line about keeping in touch, but I need you to know that. No matter what happened or didn’t happen, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Magnus”

Alexander became blurry as Magnus heaved for breath, trying to control the flood of emotions he’d been suppressing all day, and he croaked out in a voice so tinny it was a wonder it could be heard at all “I… I want you to know that I don’t regret a single moment I got to spend with you. It was the privilege of my life to get to know you, Alexander, and I hope you know that. If nothing else, remember that you…”.

Magnus trailed off, hesitant to make this whole moment much harder than it needed to be. He could leave it at that, a goodbye that said a little but not too much, that let them both know they mattered but kept a final wall between them, one final frontier to the pain of separation, but Magnus wasn’t a coward, had never been, and if this was the last time he saw this man, then he was going to make it count, he was going to make him understand that he was worth it, no matter how little he thought he had to give “…you were loved”

Alexander’s entire being shivered, his head dropping once more as a noise that was somewhere between a sob and a laugh broke free of him, and Magnus knew that he needed to leave. They had reached the end of the road and there was nothing left to do about it.

It was perhaps their curse, to meet as friends and part as strangers, and dallying around counting all the ways it was unfair would be a feat in masochism.

Magnus got up and walked to the door, doing his best not to look at Alexander, who had not moved from his spot, and as he reached for the door knob, prepared yet not, to leave the unwritten chapter of them behind, Alec spoke haltingly, as if the words were being wrenched out of him by force “Please, stay”

Magnus’ heart nearly stopped, his whole being frozen as he tried to make sense of the deep and utter relief that washed over him at the words, as if his heart had been secretly waiting for them all along, hoping and wishing for a fighting chance.

He must’ve remained silent too long, because Alec continued, his words tumbling over each other as he blabbered on “Just for a little while. I don’t want to drink this bottle all by myself”

Magnus closed his eyes as his fluttering heart dropped to the floor in dismay, still facing away from Alec as he regained his composure, tucking away the jagged bitter edges of his disappointment, and pasting a smile on his face as he turned and nodded his head obligingly “Sure. One last time, I guess”.

They didn’t have any glasses, so they took turns drinking straight from the bottle, backs propped against the headboard and legs stretched out on the bed, words down to a minimum, each of them lost in his own mind, no doubt thinking of where they went wrong, and what they did right, a hundred words still echoing from the time they were spoken and a thousand words still remaining unsaid.

The drowsier the wine made him, the slouchier Magnus got, and he didn’t realize how it happened, but sometime during the night, the bottle was put on the nightstand and the two of them lay down, their feet tangled in each other, each point of contact sending fireflies rushing through him. They kept looking at each other, then down at the duvet, seemingly content to be sharing the same air for as long as they could. Alec was humming softly, and Magnus fought an itch in his hand to trace his features with his fingers, further etching them into memory. He hesitantly asked “Can I do something?”

Alec’s beautiful eyes, which had darkened into chocolate amber in the darkened room, looked at him through thick eyelashes and nodded trustingly. Magnus lifted his fingers and settled them on Alec’s cheek, his stubble prickling against the pads. He slowly moved them to trace the soft underside of his eyes, and Alec closed them, heaving a deep breath, as if bracing himself for the inspection. Magnus continued on, brushing his eyebrows, down the bridge of his nose, tracing the underside of his lip, mapping the most stunning view his eyes had feasted upon. It was the ultimate irony of fate how he finally got to touch Alexander in a way he’d thought of for so long, and it had to come with an all-encompassing sadness. He stayed that way for a while, until Alexander opened his eyes and gazed at him, then slowly said “Can _I_ do something?”

The knowledge of what he wanted to do was right there in his eyes, as they flicked down to Magnus’ lips, shyly presenting an invitation neither of them had dared suggest so far. Magnus could hear his heartbeat in his ears it was so loud, and he didn’t know if his face said it or his eyes were expressing the amount of yearning he harbored inside, but Alec took his silence as agreement and moved his head closer, their noses touching as they breathed the same air, and Magnus, unable to handle the anticipation for long, just shut his eyes and dived.

The moment their lips met was nothing like Magnus imagined. It was sweet. Yes, if Magnus ever managed to maintain enough brain cells to describe this kiss, he’d call it sweet. It was not hesitant, it was not flustered, it was firm and solid and so achingly familiar that it made his eyes burn with heat. Their lips knew the shape of each other; danced around in merriment at finally being united after a long drought or yearning and restraint. It was as if all those days and nights spent tracing Alec’s lips with his eyes had paid off, setting off a chemical reaction in his brain that made them feel like home, for that was exactly what this kiss felt like: home.

He recognized his mistake the second the feeling registered, that bone deep realization that he’d fucked up, because how on Earth was he supposed to give this up? How did one outlive, outgrow, and forget what a home felt like? Magnus had thought that he had lived and loved and lost and was strong enough to kiss this man and live to tell the tale, and there he was now, undone by a mere press of the lips, unraveled by a chaste kiss. It frustrated him as much as it humbled him, because this was it. _He_ was it. If Magnus had been standing up, his knees would’ve buckled, and maybe that would’ve been preferable, a tangible proof that he was experiencing a life changing moment. As it was, the wild hummingbird of a heart beating in his chest and the shortening of his breath as it puffed out through his nostrils were the only indication that he could find that his world was tilting on its axis. Otherwise, Magnus remained the same, the same man who had lived and loved and lost, the same man who was now living and loving and knew that he would very soon come to lose. There was no comfort in the certainty, only dread.

Maybe if their lips remained sealed forever, stuck in a picture-perfect frame, the inevitable would not come to pass. Maybe if the world froze right there, with him and Alec tangled on the bed, their legs intertwined and their threads a jumbled mess, they would be able to weather the storm, but maybes didn’t make for truths, and as Alec broke their connection and leaned his forehead against Magnus’, breath shaking as he softly whispered “I’m sorry, I had to”, Magnus knew that nothing could weather this, not his aching, unraveling heart and not his soul that felt wounded and tired.

It was pointless to hope, because nothing would change the truth. His whole life was back in New York, and he knew that Alec moving back there would be a feat in miracles, not that he wanted him to! He fully believed that Alec’s place was here, soaked rich soil at his feet, and eternal breeze around him. He had a family that loved him and a life he cared about, and Magnus would never dare hope for anything different. He just wished he could have had more of him, more time to be able to live out the promises their kiss was able to make.

* * *

Alec didn’t need to open his eyes to know that he was alone. He could feel the cold and the emptiness all the way to his bones. Not even the sun rays worming their way through the window made a difference. They just reminded him that the day had started, and that when he went down for breakfast, there would be a noticeable absence at the table. He curled his hand in the pillow next to his, the phantom of heat long gone by now. He’d made him promise not to come out to say goodbye. It had nearly killed him to make that promise, but he’d done it. He’d stayed put through the shuffling in the early morning dawn as he felt Magnus vacate the room. He’d played the sleeping game when he felt Magnus stand by his side for a long moment, and he’d kept from breaking down when he felt a hand in his hair and a kiss being dropped on his temple. 

He listened to the sounds of the bustling morning, the world moving forward, unbothered by the crippling sadness he felt, and he braced himself and counted to ten. If the world was moving on, then he was moving on with it. He was a heartbroken man, but he was also a brother, a son, a friend and a father, and for today, that was enough. It had to be, because he didn’t know what to do if it wasn’t. Alec got off the bed, and rose to face the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End! 
> 
> I'm just kidding. Please don't throw rocks at me! I hope you enjoyed (I'm just being mean rn) that chapter. Just remember that it gets worse before it gets better.   
> As always, guys, thank you for reading. Leave a comment, let me know how you're feeling, and i'll see you very soon for another update.
> 
> xoxo


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! You may have noticed that this chapter is a bit shorter than the rest, and that's because it is mostly a transition chapter.  
> I'm trying something different here, and I hope you like it as much as I liked writing it. itr was basically me falling in love with their story all over again, and I hope you feel the same :)  
> Please pay attention to the headers, especially timestamps and message status (Draft, Sent)  
> Enjoy ;)

From: Alec Lightwood <alightwood@gmail.com>

To: Magnus Bane <mbane@baneandroberts.com>

Message: Draft

Subject: Hey

Date: 09/15/2019 18:45

Hey,

I got your email off of a business card you left behind. I hope you don’t mind. I could’ve called, I guess, but I thought this would be better, considering. I just wanted to ask if you got home okay, if you managed to get some rest. Everything is okay here... I don’t even know what the point of this email is. I’m sure Izzy has already called you or something. I guess I just didn’t want you to forget about me, as silly as that sounds. I miss you already.

Yours,

Alec.

* * *

From: Alec Lightwood <alightwood@gmail.com>

To: Magnus Bane <mbane@baneandroberts.com>

Message: Draft

Subject:

Date: 09/24/2019 21:18

Magnus,

Today, I checked flights to NY. I must be going out of my mind, or maybe it’s the alcohol. I’m sitting in our patio, and I’m a little tipsy, maaaaybe. Shit, this place feels weird without you here. I feel the lack of you like the pain of a phantom limb. I don’t even know what made me check flights. Probably, some whim to see your face again, but I just, I can’t, I couldn’t. I felt like I couldn’t fucking breathe the second the page loaded. I’m sorry I’m such a coward. I’m sorry I can’t get over myself.

Alec.

* * *

From: Alec Lightwood <alightwood@gmail.com>

To: Magnus Bane <mbane@baneandroberts.com>

Message: Draft

Subject:

Date: 10/03/2019 14:01

Magnus,

I came home today to find my kid basically climbing the ceiling she was so happy, and apparently, it was because she talked to you on the phone. I just wanted to say thank you for keeping in touch. I hope you know that it means a lot. Lena may not remember much of her life before Italy, but she’s always had this innate skittishness about being left behind, abandoned. Thank you for not being one of the people that let her down in that way. She said that your aunt’s bequest still hadn’t made it there, and I found myself wanting to pick up the phone and ask you about it, make up theories about what on Earth it could be that is in that deposit box, engage in a game where you left me in awe as you often do, but then I realized that I would have to hear your voice, and I don’t know if I’m strong enough for that yet, or if I ever will be. It’s ridiculous but it’s true. I couldn’t bear to hear the smile in your voice. I think it would break me… Here goes another message that I will never send, it seems. I don’t know why I keep writing them, knowing full well I’ll never have the courage to hit send, but somehow, they make me feel better, or at least, less alone.

Always yours,

Alec.

* * *

From: Alec Lightwood <alightwood@gmail.com>

To: Magnus Bane <mbane@baneandroberts.com>

Message: Draft

Subject: I need you

Date: 10/11/2019 23:52

Hey,

I’d promised myself that I’ll stop after last time, but something happened today, and well, I need to let it out.

So, Lena broke her arm today. I guess it’s a rite of passage for kids her age. I remember breaking a leg, Jace broke a wrist. She was dangling from a tree and lost her balance. She’s fine now, or as fine as an 8 year old that’s currently on pain meds can be, but when it happened, I freaked out. She was just screaming her little heart out and I felt helpless to stop her pain. Even with everyone telling me that she’s going to be just fine, I felt so fucking helpless, and then she broke my fucking heart when she started asking for you. We told her we’ll call you later, because it was basically 3AM in New York when it happened, but I realized in that moment, that you’ve become a vital part of her dynamic, too. It wasn’t just me, anymore, and I swear to you that I wanted to settle next to her on that hospital bed and burst into tears too, because I wanted you too, right then. I needed you, with your calming energy, and that way you have to see the good in everything, to find the silver lining in every goddamn situation.

My family has been my support system for the past seven years, and I don’t know what I would do without them but today I realized that when you were around, you were a bit more than that. You were a partner, a person whose help I never had to ask for. The way you would fill up Lena’s plate at dinner without any prompting, or the way you’d tell her to brush her teeth and get ready for me to tuck her in. I never realized how those little things made up a big ass picture, and today I did. When she was crying and wanted you to make her feel better, I fucking did.

God, how did you sow yourself into the fabric of our lives so tightly that I don’t know where you end and we begin? How am I supposed to untangle this mess we made of ourselves? How did we fall so deep without ever planning to? I thought I was being smart by keeping things platonic, by never toeing the line, but fuck it, it all still hurts, and so what was the point? What was the fucking point, Magnus?

Against all odds, yours,

Alec.

* * *

From: Alec Lightwood <alightwood@gmail.com>

To: Magnus Bane <mbane@baneandroberts.com>

Message: Sent

Subject: Jebediah’s here!

Date: 10/23/2019 16:15

Attached: babylucas.png

Hey Magnus,

It’s Alec. Of course, you already know that. It’s literally in my email address. Anyway, I hope you’re doing well. Isabelle told me you’re back to work. How’s that going?

I just wanted to let you know that Clary gave birth to a beautiful baby boy yesterday, and despite my subject line, he was not named Jebediah, much to Jace’s chagrin and everyone else’s elation. I sent you an attached picture of little Lucas Alexander Lightwood-Fray. His name is a mouthful, but he sure lives up to it, if the screaming is any indication. You might’ve guessed that the name is homage to Luke and I who, in Jace and Clary’s mind, were the reason they met. I couldn’t ask for a better person to carry my moniker. Lena obviously has declared that Lucas is her favorite person on earth and refuses to leave his side, and Mom is over the moon. I thought you’d like to know.

I hope everything is going well for you. You’ve been missed.

Alec.

PS: I got your email address from a business card I found in the kitchen drawer, so yeah…

* * *

From: Magnus Bane <mbane@baneandroberts.com>

To: Alec Lightwood <alightwood@gmail.com>

Message: Sent

Subject: re: Jebediah’s here!

Date: 10/23/2019 17:45

Hey,

Hey, it’s so good to hear from you! I’m doing fine. Work is great, a bit hectic since the Fall is our peak period. I told you that my business partner is a badass; so luckily, there were no big fires for me to put out when I got home. It was a bit of an adjustment to get back into the routine of things, though. Your summer life spoiled me too much.

How are you doing? I heard about Lena’s arm. I’m sorry, I spoke to her, but I guess I should’ve called you too to make sure you were doing okay. I don’t know why I didn’t… I hope she’s feeling better.

As for your subject line, I admit I had a mini heart attack when I got the notification, but that bundle of joy looks so adorable, that even a name like Jebediah wouldn’t dampen his shine. Just imagine it. You’d call him Jeb, and he’d always have a good story to tell people, an ice breaker of a sort! But I have to admit, his name does take the biscuit. That was so nice of Clary and Jace to do, and don’t even try to deny it because I know what a big softie you are. Admit it, you cried like a babe when they told you about it, didn’t you? J

Please pass my congratulations on to Jace and Clary. I have to get to the office now, so I’ll talk to you later, maybe. It was good hearing from you, Alexander, and I miss you too, very much.

Sincerely,

Magnus.

* * *

From: Alec Lightwood <alightwood@gmail.com>

To: Magnus Bane <mbane@baneandroberts.com>

Message: Sent

Subject: Jebediah is not an ice breaker

Date: 10/24/2019 07:09

Good morning,

Or is it good night? I’ll admit that this time zone business is exhausting, but oh well! I hope you’re not straining yourself too much at work. I miss hearing about your crazy clients.

An ice breaker, Magnus? You weren’t bullied in school, were you? You don’t know the weight of a weird name, and the amounts of grief second graders are capable of. Gideon is my middle name, not even my first, and I used to hate it when the teacher would yell it, probably because she caught me passing notes with Lydia.

There was this kid, Raj something. He would snicker every single time and start whispering and side –eyeing me. I am pretty sure he and his buddies made up a rhyme at some point, some height of second grade poetic prowess. Luckily for my wimpy ass, Lydia was that girl that was not to be messed with in the sandbox. God, the day Raj ate dirt was so satisfying!

As for the matter of the crying, I can neither concur nor deny such allegations. It is entirely possible that a breeze blew into my eyes for five minutes straight after Jace told me his name. Maybe. If you squint a bit!

Is the box there yet, by the way?

Alec.

* * *

From: Magnus Bane <mbane@baneandroberts.com>

To: Alec Lightwood <alightwood@gmail.com>

Message: Sent

Subject: re: Jebediah is not an ice breaker

Date: 10/24/2019 11:48

Alexander,

Do you have some kind of dark magic in your veins? You mention crazy clients, and it’s like you summoned them from the ground up. I walked into work this morning to find this Morgenstern guy whose campaign I worked on last year standing in my lobby, demanding an urgent business meeting. After he annoyed my assistant and took up half the morning making noise and disrupting my meetings, we finally settled in to talk, and he gets a roll of toilet paper out of his briefcase, one with baby dinosaurs on it, and tells me that he needs a pitch ready by next week. No matter how many times I explained that we were booked through the next three months and that there was no way I would be able to put anything of value together in a week, he wouldn’t listen. Eventually, he stormed off, his dino toilet paper trailing behind him, flapping in the wind. It was the weirdest meeting I’ve had all year.

And let me stop you right there! I don’t know the weight of a weird name? I, MAGNUS BANE, don’t know the weight of a weird name. Let me tell you that kindergartners are not the sharpest tools in the shed. Their very brilliant and limited imagination was barely able to come up with Magus, which quickly evolved into Maggots, and well, it was gross, okay. It was really gross! Although I do feel the need to find a certain Raj right now, and put him in a witness protection program or something. Jesus, Alexander, I had no idea you had such a mean streak ;)

I won’t tease too much about the crying, because I may have teared up myself when you told me about it. That kid has big shoes to fill.

The blasted box is still in legal battle. At this point, I’m convinced that it has the fifth element inside. It’s the only thing that can justify this mess.

When does Lena start school?

Yours,

Magnus.

* * *

From: Alec Lightwood <alightwood@gmail.com>

To: Magnus Bane <mbane@baneandroberts.com>

Message: Sent

Subject: I’m sorry about the maggots

Date: 10/24/2019 19:41

Magnus,

I KNOW THAT GUY! His name is Valentine, right? He was a client at the firm I worked at, and he always had to be escorted out because of one thing or another, although I admit, I’d pay good money to see him walk away with dinosaur toilet paper trailing behind him.

Okay, I admit that maggots may win over my silly Gideon song. I’m sorry (I still laughed though).

You’re wrong about the contents of the box, because the fifth element is clearly a person, Magnus. Tell me you’re not disrespecting my girl Mila Jovovich here! My guess would be a necklace, blue diamond, 80 carats or so, and it would be worth billions of dollars.

Lena starts school next Monday, and let me tell you, I have never seen a kid more excited to study in my life. Did you do that as a kid? Get excited about school? I don’t think I ever was. At least, I have no memory of wanting summer to end. It’s weird, but I’m becoming one of those “adults”, you know, the ones that forget what it was to be a kid.

I’m probably making no sense and you should just ignore me at this point.

Alec.

* * *

From: Magnus Bane <mbane@baneandroberts.com>

To: Alec Lightwood <alightwood@gmail.com>

Message: Draft

Subject: I can’t do this

Date: 10/25/2019 03:51

How the fuck am I supposed to move on from you, when you’re you? Every email, I tell myself I’ll stop answering, every single time. And yet, here I am, falling in love with you all over again, through different mediums. Sometimes, I hate you, for showing me everything I could have, and yet keeping it away, and yet, here I sit, unable to do anything but fall deeper into the snare of your love; You’re my fucking kryptonite, and I want to tell you that I’m still right back at that room, where I loved you and lost you, and that I haven’t moved on, not even one bit, but I’m scared to rock the boat, to change this tentative status quo. Every minute of this sucks, and I hate that I cannot stop coming back.

* * *

From: Magnus Bane <mbane@baneandroberts.com>

To: Alec Lightwood <alightwood@gmail.com>

Message: Sent

Subject: re: I’m sorry about the maggots

Date: 10/25/2019 04:19

Alexander,

Oh please, laugh at my childhood trauma. Let me add you to the list of people who owe me therapy sessions, you meanie. But in all honesty, I survived. I switched schools because of zoning in third grade, and maggots died a swift death.

Careful there, Alexander, your inner fanboy is showing. Although, I can’t really fault you for Mila. I have watched so many Resident Evil movies for that woman. I can’t really judge.

Also, did you seriously describe the necklace from the Titanic to me? No, Alec, my aunt doesn’t have a multi-billion necklace lying around, that she acquired from a previous suitor that she then escaped from and left to commit suicide. At least, I hope not. Yikes.

And yes, I loved school when I was a kid! Summer was fun, but it got boring, because I was an only child, and there was only so much trouble I could get into on my own. I have a feeling that’s why Lena feels the same. I’ll call her on Sunday to wish her a happy first day of school, then.

Also, my guess about Marla’s box is some old dusty journals of hers, probably depicting some torrid ten year old romance with some suave Italian dude. Marla was a looker!

Yours,

Magnus.

* * *

From: Alec Lightwood <alightwood@gmail.com>

To: Magnus Bane <mbane@baneandroberts.com>

Message: Sent

Subject: I am a closet Titanic fan

Date: 10/25/2019 14:08

Hey,

I’m sure Lena would appreciate hearing from you. She’s excited but a bit nervous, probably because this is the grade where she changes a lot of teachers. She’s a tough kid, though. I know she’ll be just fine.

As for the necklace, I’ll admit that I didn’t realize it, but I was describing the Titanic one, wasn’t I? God, I haven’t seen that movie in ages.

Also, I have some news. Well, they’re not really news, because I wasn’t supposed to know them. I just caught them red handed and neither of them is a really good liar. I’m pretty sure Simon finally asked Isabelle out. I saw them together in the winery, and for once, they seemed to be talking intimately, and a lot of smiling was happening, so yeah! I’m happy for them, and at the same time, want to see how long they think they can keep it from Mom and Luke. I doubt they’ll last a week.

Re: the box: Journals are laaaame. I bet that it’s evidence of the Black Dahlia murder. Marla sounds like she’s wily enough for something that dark and obscene.

Alec.

* * *

From: Magnus Bane <mbane@baneandroberts.com>

To: Alec Lightwood <alightwood@gmail.com>

Message: Sent

Subject: There’s nothing about you that’s in the closet, doofus

Date: 10/25/2019 15:34

No way! I can’t believe I was talking to Isabelle just this morning and she didn’t mention it. I will remember this betrayal! Also, a week? Are you insane? The release of sexual tension at the dinner table alone will give them away. I give it a day, two at max before Maryse and Luke crack the case, since Jace and Clary are new parents and would probably be too preoccupied to pay them any heed.

Re: the box: You’re lame! And my aunt didn’t crack the Black Dahlia murder, Alexander, for God’s sake. She was a bookshop owner. My guess is: Family photos from my childhood.

Yours,

Magnus.

* * *

From: Alec Lightwood <alightwood@gmail.com>

To: Magnus Bane <mbane@baneandroberts.com>

Message: Sent

Subject: TMI, Magnus

Date: 10/25/2019 22:00

Magnus,

Please, don’t mention sex and my sister in the same sentence. I almost threw up. And you were right. Mom started squealing the second Simon passed the salad to Izzy. It was like she sniffed it in the air. Anyway, everyone was overjoyed, and Simon was practically a tomato after Clary, Jace and Luke were done with teasing him.

Also, Lena told me you called her this morning. I don’t know what you said, but she seems a lot calmer than she did before about this whole school thing. I can’t thank you enough.

Re: the box: Are you even trying right now? Family photos? I say it’s the lost coins of Alexandria. She acquired them from a traveling adventurer that stumbled upon her bookshop one day.

Alexander.

* * *

From: Maia Roberts <mroberts@baneandroberts.com>

To: Magnus Bane <mbane@baneandroberts.com>

Message: Sent

Subject: I will throw your phone out the window

Date: 10/25/2019 22:12

Hi,

This is your business partner that has been calling your name for the past 10 minutes while you grinned at your cell phone like the love sick fool you are. Can you please close your emails so we can get back to this meeting you made us have on a Sunday so we can both go home, or better yet, call this man and stop being such a cliché rom-com character with your sappy emails and giggly inside jokes.

Lovingly, and seriously tired of you both,

Maia.

* * *

From: Magnus Bane <mbane@baneandroberts.com>

To: Alec Lightwood <alightwood@gmail.com>

Message: Sent

Subject: re: TMI, Magnus

Date: 10/26/2019 00:35

Alexander,

I’m always right, but I appreciate you telling me about it anyway J

Also, you never have to thank me when it comes to Lena. That little girl is precious to me. If there’s ever anything I can do to help out, all you have to do is ask.

Re: the box: There are no such things as the lost coins of Alexandria, and I think you’ve been reading too many of your daughter’s books lately. My guess: The box is empty, and it’s Marla’s last practical joke from beyond the grave.

Yours,

Magnus.

* * *

From: Alec Lightwood <alightwood@gmail.com>

To: Magnus Bane <mbane@baneandroberts.com>

Message: Sent

Subject: re: Our stupid bet

Date: 11/19/2019 17:28

Magnus,

I tried the stupid apricot jam per our last bet, and I hate it, nearly as much as I hate you for making me eat it. I’m never making bets with you again.

Also, the wine distribution situation solved itself out. Just thought I’d let you know. Thank you for talking me through it the other day. I couldn’t have done it without you.

Also, I think Lena has a crush on a boy, and I am wholly unequipped to deal with this. She came in the other day announcing that she was going to marry this Daniel guy who’s in her class, and I’m pretty sure I froze like a deer caught in headlights. Mom just about pissed herself laughing at me. Please tell me I’m not going to have to deal with heartbreak this young. I might just get a shotgun and prop it against the door, just a subtle “do not fuck with my kid” message to get across.

Re: the box: location map for a hidden treasure she buried in the bushes during the seventies.

Yours, 

Alexander.

* * *

From: George Whitmore <gwhitmore@whitmoreandfell.com>

To: Magnus Bane <mbane@baneandroberts.com>

Message: Sent

Subject: Safety deposit box retrieval

Date: 11/20/2019 16:49

Mr. Bane,

I’m George Whitmore. I am your late aunt Marla’s will executioner. I acquired your credentials from Ms. Loss. I just wanted to personally apologize for the ridiculous delay that happened with your aunt’s bequest, and inform you that we finally have possession of the box. It’s being shipped at the moment, and should be within your possession in a week’s time.

Let me know if there are any other issues, and I hope you have a great rest of your day.

Best,

George Whitmore, Esq.

* * *

From: Magnus Bane <mbane@baneandroberts.com>

To: Alec Lightwood <alightwood@gmail.com>

Message: Draft

Subject: I miss you

Date: 11/22/2019 13:17

Alexander,

I miss you. I know that it doesn’t make any sense because we talk daily, but I still fucking miss you. I miss looking into your eyes and seeing them twinkle when you hear something especially interesting. I miss watching your entire face contort as you laugh, because you laugh like nobody’s watching. I miss hearing your voice, and feeling the timbre of it reverberate through my body when you say my name. I don’t know why I can’t bear to call you. I feel like I can’t breathe every time I think about it, and yet, I strain my ears every time I’m on the phone with Maryse and the girls just to catch a hint of you in the background.

My friend Catarina suggested that I start dating today. I know it would be the right thing to do. We’re never going to go anywhere and I’m just hurting myself, but it felt like I would be cheating on you, because despite you making no claim on my heart, I gave it to you all the same, and I fear that it always will be. I don’t know what it is I’m hoping for here? A miracle, a dream? You make me dreamy eyed and whimsy and I hate that I love it. I hate that I love you, as much as I do, but fuck if I can stop.

Irrevocably yours,

Magnus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't say this nearly enough, but thank you guys for reading. It is always a joy to see your reactions ank kind words. Let me know what you think, and I'll see y'all soon for another chapter :)  
> xoxo


	8. Chapter 8

Magnus was crying. Albeit, he was crying from laughter, but he was crying nonetheless. He’d forgotten how out of whack his aunt’s humor was. She’d been a fierce old woman with a heart that remained young forever, and somewhere along the line, Magnus had started to forget that. He didn’t know what had possessed him to go on this journey down memory lane, but he’d woken up on his day off and felt an acute pain of homesickness. He didn’t know for what exactly considering that he was supposed to be home, but he’d still untied the bundle of letters Marla had sent him over the years, thinking he’d read one of them at best. Four hours later, he was still lounging in his sweatpants, reliving the past 10 years through his aunt’s words.

It was weird, reading these letters now that he knew all the places she talked about and all the people she mentioned. It felt like reading a book for the second time after a few years and understanding its hidden meanings, watching a movie adaptation when you’ve already read the book. It added so much depth to her stories, so much layered background to her life.

He’d missed that. He’d missed her, honestly, but he’d thought that reading her words would bring back the regrets and unresolved feelings he’d had about her death, and yet, it didn’t quite fee like that. On the contrary, Magnus could now read the happiness in her words, the utter joy of life she had, and he felt reassured in his knowledge that she’d led a happy life, a full life, and that she never blamed him or felt slighted.

His eyes snagged on the last passage of one of her letters from a few years ago.

“ _I’m telling you, dear boy, you would love this place. There are so many pretty girls and boys, their accents like warm chocolate being poured over shiny new strawberries. If you ever come visit, I’ll show you both, the people and the strawberries, although knowing you and your sweet tooth, you’re probably more excited about the latter._

_Don’t worry too much about your business. I’m sure those pesky licenses will sort themselves out, and you’ll have it up and running in no time. Say hello to your business partner. She seems like my kind of gal, and remember, my dear boy, that to open any door, to unlock any heart, all you need is love._

_Marla”_

He couldn’t help but smile. He loved finding those little Beatles references everywhere in her letters. They were like a secret code only he and Marla understood.

He felt himself freeze as the thought crossed his mind. _Wait a second!_

Magnus scrambled, going through the letters, just in case. Sure enough, every single one was signed the same way “ _All you need is love_ ”, but only the one he’d been reading had the “ _to open any door, to unlock any heart”_ inscription on it. Surely, it couldn’t be that easy. Surely, Lena couldn’t be right about this. He scrolled through his emails, noticing a notification from Alexander, and feeling his heart jump in his chest at the sight of it, and found the email from the lawyer, pulled up the phone number mentioned there and called.

After a quick introduction to an assistant, he was transferred to a Mr. Whitmore, who had a warm voice and sounded like someone’s loving grandfather. _It was a specific tone of voice, trust him!_

“Ah, Mr. Bane. Lovely to hear from you. What can I do for you, today?”

“Hello Mr. Whitmore. I’m sorry to bother you…”

“Nonsense, call me George please, and it is no bother”

Magnus smiled a bit and said “George. Is there any chance that the bank in Florence sent over the password my aunt had entrusted them with?”

“You don’t have to worry about that. The box, which should be arriving on the morrow, has already been unlocked. You’ll be recovering the contents directly”

“Yes, I know, I know. I was just hoping you could indulge me. I find myself curious about the password, is all”

“Oh, in that case, let me see”. Magnus could hear the sound of typing on the other side of the phone, some rummaging and paper rustling before George’s voice came back “Ha! Here we go. Yes, I see the password here is, well, easy enough, I suppose. The password is: love”

Magnus closed his eyes and sagged against the couch, feeling the hysterical urge to laugh bubble within him. He thanked the gentleman for his help, and hung up, before looking at the ceiling and laughing so hard he felt his stomach cramp from it.

 _All you need is love_. Indeed, Marla. Indeed.

* * *

Alec sat, feet propped up on the coffee table, obsessively checking his phone like a 16-year-old teenager with a crush. No matter how much he tried to convince himself to play it cool, the eagerness he felt overwhelmed him. For the sixth time in the past half hour, he refreshed his email app, waiting for a message he wasn’t supposed to crave, going against every little grain of common sense he had.

He had just dragged his thumb across the screen again, as if the motion would conjure up a response where there wasn’t any, when Lena appeared in the doorway, telling him she was ready for bed. Grateful for the distraction from his desperate thoughts, he deliberately left his phone on the coffee table and joined her.

“Have you brushed your teeth?”, he asked as he ruffled her hair.

“Yep. Brushed my hair, got tomorrow’s clothes ready, and packed my bag”, she replied, squirming away from his hand and glaring at him for undoing her hard work taming her wild tresses.

He couldn’t help but smile. She was growing up at an astronomical rate. Even at 8, she was starting to show a temper about certain pet peeves. It was going to suck to see her grow up, stop coming to him for every little thing she needed, stop being his little girl and grow into her own independent person, but it was also going to make him immensely proud. He just wished she could slow down a tiny bit more, because he didn’t feel ready to stop being her favorite person in the world. It was selfish, but Alec wagered it was part of being a parent, so he cut himself some slack.

She got into bed, and handed him the book without any prompting, already opened on the story she wanted him to read tonight.

Alec grabbed for it, and felt his hand shake a little, as it had every night since they’d started painstakingly going through _Arabian Nights_. It was his own damned fault, he supposed, for being an absolute sob, but he’d been missing Magnus like crazy, and had clung to the book like a lifeline, desperately trying to conjure up memories of his beautiful face reading it in the moonlight, his expressive features crinkling in amusement at the various twists and turns of the stories. It had been their first connection, the first broached step in the unfathomable story that was them, and he’d been nostalgic as hell. It was just his luck that Lena had stumbled upon him cradling the book like a precious heirloom, and had inquired about it. How she’d needled him into reading it to her, he had no clue, but there he was, reading the story of Ali Baba, imitating the different voices just the way she liked, trying not to think of the other hands that had held and loved the book before this, and failed.

When he’d finished the chapter, and moved to turn off the light, Lena’s quiet voice stopped him “Can you tell me a story about Mom?”

Alec froze for a moment, before settling back against the side of her bed, slightly apprehensive about the question. Lena rarely asked about Lydia. He never pushed, sharing what he could when the situation asked for it, but he always felt like Lena harbored some misplaced guilt about not remembering her, and thus was always wary at her mention.

“What do you want to know?”, he asked softly, pushing her hair away from her face.

She shrugged, fingers playing idly with the hem of her blanket. “I don’t know. Anything”

Alec thought back of his best friend, a chore that used to incite an acute pain in him, but that he found had dulled into a mere ache, as if the memory of her was no longer as jarring, and thought of the perfect anecdote “When I was in high school, I was a loner. I’ve always had a hard time making friends and high school was no different, especially in the first couple of years before your mom and your aunt Isabelle and uncle Jace became freshmen. They’d been still in Junior high, and the two buildings weren’t connected, so I didn’t see them for much of the day”.

“There was this kid, Preston, who had moved into town when I was a freshman, and had taken one look at me and decided that I was his new favorite punching bag. Figuratively”, she added, when her eyes widened in fright “He never touched me, but he was so mean, Len, the worst. He’d pick on me during lunch break, made sure to make fun of me in every class we had, and just set out to make me miserable” He’d never retaliated, not out of fear or anything, but more out of disinterest with the entire situation. “Your mom never liked it. Whenever we’d meet outside, she’d just prop her hands on her hips with a frown on her face like this”, he imitated and she giggled, “And ask what that buffoon did today. No matter how many times I’d tell her to let it go, she and your aunt Izzy would threaten and promise that they’d get him back”

“Your mom was really pretty. She had this inner joy about her that made everyone instantly like her, so when she became a freshman, every guy in school, and a few girls as well, basically threw themselves at her feet to ask her out. It was really annoying”, he shared with a sigh, and Lena laughed, propping her hand under her cheek and listening intently “imagine our surprise, when none other than Preston was one of them. Lydia was about to make him regret the day he was born, when your aunt Isabelle had an even better idea. She convinced your mom to say yes, and to put laxatives into his drink when they went out”. Lena’s mouth fell open as her eyes widened “Nooo”, she whispered, and Alec laughed as he nodded “Oh, yes. That’s exactly what they did. Lydia said yes, and Preston walked around school like the proud monkey he was for snagging the girl everyone had been wanting to take out. On their first date, your mom suggested an Indian place, and told him that she loved spicy food. When they got there, she kept adding more chili flakes to his food whenever he wasn’t looking, and he just kept shoveling it in while sweating because he was too proud to say he couldn’t stomach it. The laxatives made it even worse, and Preston had to spend the entire night in a bathroom stall”

Lena was clutching her sides from laughing so hard by then, and Alec himself was smiling in nostalgia, remembering the feverish way Lydia had described that shitty date, _pun intended_. He hadn’t thought of a happy memory of her in a while. It was strange to think of, that those happy memories were still there, ever present, just eclipsed by the horrible tragedies he usually associated with her memory.

“Did he stop bullying you after that?”, Lena asked, shaking him from his thoughts.

“I’m sure he would have loved to do more, but I wasn’t quite so alone anymore. Jace and Izzy and Lydia were around, and I hung out with them. I think he picked on me, because I was always by myself. Bully mentality and all that. But your mom’s revenge did make me feel vindicated”

“Mom was badass”, she whispered in awe, and Alec felt his heart squeeze a bit “That, she was, Bug. That she was”

If only he had an ounce of her courage, maybe he wouldn’t have had to wait by his phone for an email instead of have the man he loved in his arms every day, but a coward he was, and there wasn’t much to do about it.

He tucked Lena in, and kissed her goodnight, closing the door behind him, and went back outside. He stopped at the threshold to the patio, seeing Jace, Simon and Luke lounging, talking amongst themselves quietly. He had the most irrational urge to ask them to leave, because they were encroaching on a sacred place. But that would be suspicious, not to mention clinically insane. He had to get it through his thick head to move the fuck on. Beyond correspondence that did very little to dull the pain of saying goodbye, Alec didn’t have any claim to make, not on the space, and not on the person it reminded him of.

He moved to join them, plopping down on the seat he’d occupied earlier, and looking for his phone. A quick glance didn’t glean any result, so he started feeling for it, to no avail.

“Looking for this?” said Simon, holding his phone in his hand.

“Yeah, thanks”. Alec held out his hand so Simon could drop it in it, but Simon just held the phone and asked him with a smug gleam in his eye “You’ve been attached to your phone more than usual, lately. Why is that?”

“Just give me the phone, Si. I’m really not in the mood for an inquisition”, Alec said, already drained from his conversation with Lena.

“I mean… even at the dinner table, you’re all the time typing on this thing. It’s got to be something important, huh?”

Alec just looked at his best friend, then at his brother and Luke, who were studying the coffee table like consummate carpenters looking for flaws, then back at Simon “Fine. Keep the phone if you want it so much, I don’t care”

“Are you sure? I could swear I heard the beep of a notification earlier”, and Alec lurched out of his seat to grab the phone, startling Simon who just handed it over.

Aware of the eyes on him but frankly, unable to give a shit, Alec checked his phone only to find the notification had been for some stupid app update he didn’t care about. He dropped the phone next to him in disgust, mostly at himself, and settled back, closing his eyes to rid himself of the tension.

“Uh, what just happened?”, Simon said slowly, and Alec felt his entire frame go tight at the upcoming inquisition. He felt so freaking tired. Luckily, Luke intervened “Simon, let it go, please”

“Seriously? We’re just going to pretend he didn’t almost hulk out right now? We’re going to pretend he hasn’t been weird for the past days, hell, months?”

“It’s none of our business”, Luke said, his calm quiet demeanor diffusing the situation as it often did, and Alec was so immensely grateful for it. “Alec is a grown man. I’m sure he knows what he’s doing”. That’s where Luke was wrong, but Alec wasn’t about to point that out. He just turned to Jace, who was picking at the edge of the couch, deep in thought, and said “Lucas asleep?”

The joy that came over his brother’s eyes at the mention of his son’s name set off a funny feeling in Alec’s chest. He was happy for his brother, ridiculously so, but he couldn’t help a tiny bit of envy that came over him, not at the happiness per se, but at the utter contentment he could see in Jace’s eyes. It was eerie to be so aware of what you so pointedly lack, and right then, Alec knew exactly what he was missing.

“Yeah, Clary wanted to sleep too. She reckons it will only take him an hour or so to wake up again, so she’s taking advantage”, Jace said, still smiling and dewy eyed. Alec had to look away. He felt like he was unraveling lately, and despite his best efforts to make it subtle, he could tell that his family was worried. They tiptoed around him like he was made of glass, and he didn’t know how to tell them to stop. He’d never been good at speaking his mind.

“God, you’re a life saver”, Simon uttered, and Alec looked up to see his sister walk out with a tray filled with steaming mugs; He could see floating clouds of marshmallows on top and knew it had to be hot chocolate. The weather was uncharacteristically warm for late November, _fucking global warming_ , but still chilly enough for hot chocolate to be a most welcome sight. It was so familiar that he couldn’t help but smile. Izzy passed the tray around and he took a mug, thanking her, and settled back with the warm mug, heating his cold fingers.

His mother and Clary joined them, mugs in hand, the latter also holding a baby monitor that she set on the table before snuggling into her husband’s side.

“I thought you were going to sleep”, Jace said quietly, playing with her hair.

“Yeah, but then I craved some hot chocolate, and convinced Mom and Izzy to make some for everyone”, she replied, smiling devilishly, like she’d accomplished a great feat.

Jace looked at his wife like she was the most incredible thing he’d ever seen, then frowned as she hugged her arms a bit “You cold?”

He didn’t wait for her answer before he was reaching for a blanket folded on the seat next to them, and draping it over the both of them. He tucked her in, making sure her back was covered and settled back, pecking the top of her head and getting that same content look in his eyes that Alec had noticed.

He watched the whole thing unfold with a quiet curiosity, and as he looked at that blanket over the both of them, he felt his eyes get hot. It was fucking ridiculous. It was just a blanket, for God’s sake. It was chilly enough to warrant it. But somehow, all he could hear was Magnus’ voice as he said to him, conviction ringing in his voice “ _Who said anything about grand? I happen to believe that love is in the little gestures, the tiny teeny gestures. That’s how you can tell people love each other_ ” and he looked at his family around him, happy and content with their lives, each of them so in love it shined through their eyes. Even Simon and Izzy who’d just gotten together, were already so comfortable around each other, it felt like they’d been together for years instead of days, hands tangled together in a game of thumbs that Alec knew was just an excuse to hold each other, Isabelle’s head nestled in the crook of Simon’s neck, looking for all the world to see like they were home. That unraveling sensation was back, a boulder sitting on Alec’s chest, weighing him down, making his breath wheeze out of him. He felt like he was about to explode, his ears ringing, to the point where he didn’t hear his voice being called at first.

“Alec”. He focused back on the conversation, seeing everyone looking at him with various degrees of concern, and Simon, who’d been the one calling his name, was just studying him stoically, looking like he knew exactly what Alec was feeling inside.

“What?”, he croaked out through the lump in his throat, and Simon just shook his head slightly before nodding his head towards a building in the distance “I forgot to show you a sample from the new olive oil batch we made today”

“Now?”, he asked incredulously. It was almost ten in the evening.

“Yes, now”. He moved away from his seat, giving Izzy a quick kiss as he went, and nodded his head towards the dark building, bidding Alec to follow him.

With a heave, Alec did just that, wondering what on Earth Simon was up to. The second they were out of sight of the house, Simon turned to him and looked at his watch “Okay, you have 10 minutes before they get suspicious”

“Um” Alec felt like he was missing something, “What am I supposed to do?”

“Put yourself back together, I guess”. At Alec’s confused blank stare, Simon sighed and said “Look, I’m sorry about the phone earlier, but you looked like you were about to have a nervous breakdown right there, so I thought, you know, better for your ego to lick your wounds in peace”

Despite the unorthodox method, Alec felt his lips curl up at the edges as affection curled in his gut. He really lucked out in the friend department “I appreciate it, man, but I assure you, I’m fine”

Simon just looked at him in disappointment, as if he’d known that was what Alec’s answer would be and had hoped it wouldn’t be. He just stared at him steadily, then said “You know when you asked me why I’d finally asked Isabelle out, and I said that it was finally time?”

Alec nodded; a bit caught off guard by the abrupt change of topic. Simon continued “I lied. I mean, yes it was time, but the reason I finally got the balls to do something was because of you”

Alec tilted his head in inquiry, even as dread coiled in him, because he had a faint idea where this was going.

“I just felt so ungrateful, so stupid. Here you were, miserable because you couldn’t have what you wanted, and here I was, fully capable of reaching for it, and yet, denying myself out of some misguided notion of what was right for everyone, and I realized, why in the hell didn’t I think of what was right for me first? What was stopping me from being selfish just for once in my life? Nothing, just my own stupid insecurities”. He looked at Alec with a burning intensity, as if he were trying to beam some sort of message onto him, “Try figuring out if you really can’t have what you want, or if your stupid insecurities are just much bigger than mine, alright?”

With that parting shot, Simon moved back the way they’d come, leaving him with more questions than answers.

By the time he made it back, everyone had dispersed, only his mom sitting in the moonlight, her mug still cradled in her hand.

“Hey, where did everyone go?”, he asked, walking up the steps to join her.

“Lucas woke up, so Jace and Clary are with him. Izzy and Simon went to bed. Luke too”

“What are you still doing up?”, he asked, gathering the empty cups and arranging them on the tray to take back inside.

“Leave them. I want to have a word with you”

Alec wondered if his family had coordinated this endless onslaught of intervention, or if it was just his luck that they all seemed to want to set him straight tonight “What is it?”, he said, trepidation already getting the best of him.

She motioned for the seat across from her, and he took it with a sigh.

She put her mug down and clasped her hands together in her lap “I promised myself a long time ago, that I was going to be the kind of mother that let her children live their lives the way they needed to. I wasn’t going to meddle”

“Debatable”, he muttered, and she seared him with a scathing glance that made him feel 5 years old all over again; He lifted his hands in surrender and let her continue.

“I wasn’t going to be insufferable or mess with your lives. I wanted you to make mistakes and learn from them. I wanted to raise independent strong human beings, and I did. I couldn’t be prouder of the adults you and your siblings have grown up to be, but baby boy, you’re being an idiot”

Alec couldn’t help it. He burst into laughter, making her join in after a moment. “Oh wow, mom, tell me how you really feel”

“I’m serious, Alec. I tried to stay out of it, but I just can’t do it anymore. You are ruining your own life, baby. You think we can’t feel how miserable you are? Even Lena is worried about you”

Alec sighed and decided against the usual “I’m fine” spiel. His mother had never bought it. He doubted she would start now. “What am I supposed to do, mom? I’m trying to move on. I am. It’s just taking longer than I thought it would”

Maryse’s eyes went soft, and she leaned over to clasp his hand in hers, patting it gently “I know you are, honey. You’re one of the strongest people I know, but why aren’t you trying to hold on instead?”

“Because what’s the point? He’s there and I’m here and I don’t see that changing anytime soon”

“Why not? Last time I checked; we haven’t been exiled from New York. You could always go back”

“You know I can’t. I have a life here. Lena has a life here”

“So? She’s young and can adapt to change. You know damn well she would love to live in New York; It’s like a Christmas wish come true for her, and you had a life back there too. You could always try to get it back”

“It’s not that easy”, he insisted, feeling exhausted beyond belief.

“I never said it would be. It would be a change, and like all changes, it’s going to take time, but it’s not impossible”

“It’s not just the change of scenery, mom. You know that”, he whispered, his heart turning over.

Maryse looked at his steadily, then started in a hesitant tone that told him the words had been waiting for the right time for quite a while “I know that when Lydia died, your heart broke”

Alec groaned “Mom, for God’s sake, I wasn’t in love with Lydia. I’m gay, like so freaking gay it’s not even funny”

His mom pinched his side even as she stifled her amusement, and arched a brow at him “Don’t get sassy with me, kid. I knew you were gay long before you figured it out. But, when you’re my age, you understand that there are different forms of heartbreak, and that not many of them have to do with romantic love. You’ve been carrying around this guilt for so long, and I’ve had to watch you bear it, and while I hated that you even had to think it was your fault, I thought it best to let you handle your emotions on your own, but that guilt is now sabotaging your life, and so I can’t let you do that”

She looked him straight in the eye and said “You deserve to be happy as much as anyone does, and even more. You give so much of yourself to the world, and ask for nothing in return. If Lydia were alive, she would yell at you to stop being an idiot, you know she would” She would. He knew that. “And if the situation were reversed, and I thank God every single day that it isn’t”. Her voice cracked and her eyes shined with tears, “You would want her to be happy. You would want her to make use of the second chance at life she’d been given, instead of squandering it on guilt and a misplaced blame. It was an accident, Alec. It’s time you got that through your head, child”

She leaned back in her seat, wiping at her eyes and smiling at him like he hadn’t just turned his world upside down with a few well directed words.

“When Magnus was leaving, you said something to Lena, and I find it peculiar that you refuse to apply the same words to yourself. It’s not anybody’s fault and no one is to blame, but it happened, and it’s horrible and terrible and the worst, really, but there is nothing we can do about it but accept it and try to move on”

She grabbed the tray of mugs and got up, clearly aiming to leave him with his thoughts. She stopped at the doorway and turned to him “Forget about us, forget about the vineyard. For one second, forget even about Lena. We are all going to be alright. You made sure of that. You’ve given us all the love and support a person could give. Just try to figure out what it is you want”, and then she was gone.

Alec let out a deep breath and looked up at the dark cloudy sky. He just breathed in and out, his brain churning and churning: _What did he want? What did he want? What did he want? What did he want?_

He wanted to hold Magnus in his arms, not because he missed him, but simply because he wanted to. He wanted to try his favorite brand of jam, and make silly bets with him torment him about the ones he liked least. He wanted to be able to hug him whenever the urge struck him, and kiss him because his lips looked lonely without his clinging to them. He wanted to listen to him read bedtime stories to Lena, and tease him about his utter aversion to Football. He wanted to wake up next to him and have his face be the last thing he saw before going to sleep. He wanted a lifetime of fighting and making up, and he wanted it wherever Magnus was.

He wanted to love him. That was his answer. He wanted to love Magnus Bane in a million little gestures, and maybe even a few grand ones. It didn’t mean that the world had magically become a better place, or that any of it was going to be easy, but Alec couldn’t help but feel the boulder that had been squatting on his chest lift up a little, and he smiled a bit. God, it felt good to breathe.

* * *

He wished Alexander was here. It was stupid, and he wasn’t a child who needed his hand to be held, but he still wished Alec’s hand was clasped in his right then, because Magnus hadn’t known fear more powerful than he felt looking at the box sitting on his dinner table. He’d been staring at it for the past hour, unable to conjure up the courage to open it. It wasn’t like it contained a bomb, but this box had been the driving catalyst behind such an enormous chunk of his life now, that he couldn’t help feeling like he was at the end of something, like whatever was in that box was about to change his life completely, which was even more stupid, because he was now just setting himself up for crushing disappointment. After what felt like ages, he sighed and grabbed his phone, dialing and holding his breath

“Is it there yet?” the excited voice of his best friend sounded on the other side, and Magnus laughed. Maia was even worse than Alexander with her various theories about what was inside.

“It is”, he started and she squealed so loud he had to move the phone away from his ear to stop from going deaf.

“Jesus, Maia. Control your vocal cords, please”

“Sorry, sorry. You know I don’t get so excited usually, but this is huge. Okay, I’m ready, lay it on me. What is it?”

“That’s the thing: I still haven’t opened it”

“What?”, she yelled, and Magnus was now sure that he had a ruptured ear drum.

“Are you insane? You have been waiting for ages”

“I know. I’m just, I don’t know. I guess I’m scared”, he said, rubbing at his nose, then stopping abruptly when he realized what he’d been doing.

Her tone softened immediately “Do you need me to come to you? Just for moral support. I could be there in 20 minutes”

“Are you sure you don’t just want to see what’s inside?”, he teased, and her “Hey!” was offended enough that he laughed.

“Here I am, offering my support, you git, and you’re throwing it in my face”

“I’m sorry. You know I love you. I just feel like this is something I need to do on my own”

“I know, honey, and hey, despite my teasing, it’s completely normal to be scared. Take all the time you need, okay?”

Magnus breathed out, feeling a bit calmer, and nodded, even if she couldn’t see him over the phone. “Yeah, okay. Okay, yeah, I can do this”

“Of course, you can. Call me when you can, alright?”

“Sure. Thanks, M”

“Anytime, Barney”, and he groaned, because she was never letting him live it down. “Love you”

“Love you too, asshole”. He hung up on her cackle, and went back to staring at the box.

_This is stupid, Magnus! Just open the damn thing!_

Biting the bullet, and crossing his fingers, he lifted the lid reluctantly, and was surprised to find it almost empty, with merely two things inside. The first was a note, with the Whitmore & Fell header on top, simply asking him to contact them after perusing the contents of the box, per his aunt’s request.

More curious than ever, the second was an envelope. He recognized his aunt’s handwriting immediately, his hand shaking slightly at the realization that this was the last thing he would ever have of her, and yet he was still completely flabbergasted. Why hadn’t he just received this letter in the mail. What was so important about it that he’d needed to go all the way to Florence for it? He gently opened the envelope, grabbed hold of the papers inside, and started reading:

_My dearest Magnus,_

_If you’re reading this letter, then chances are I’m gone, and well, I hope that I at least went out with a bang, some skydiving accident or scuba diving equipment malfunction. I wouldn’t want to be the lame old woman who died in her sleep. That would be the lamest death ever. In any way, I hope you don’t feel bad for me, my dear boy. Know that I lived life the way I wanted to, and that I rarely bothered with such burdensome things as regrets._

_This letter is not a goodbye, because whenever you need me, I’m only a Beatles song away! This letter is me telling you one final story, so humor this old girl one last time._

_When I was 17, I fell in love with a boy. His name was Marco Wallace, and he was the most devilishly handsome boy my eyes had ever seen. He was in my grade, lived in the trailer park on the outskirts of town, and worked part-time construction on that strip mall they were building then. Don’t roll your eyes at me, young man! These details are important for my story, I tell you._

_Marco was the gentlest of souls, a gentle giant if I’ve ever seen one, but he had a hard life that just never got better, a little brother, a drunkard of a father and a mother who spent her days high as a kite. We were assigned together on an English lit project, and all of a sudden, I was a shy girl who had the most beautiful boy smiling at her as he serenaded her with poetry in class. It all happened so fast, the falling in love, the making of plans to go away together, and the projection in the future, with our teenage hopes and dreams and our young infallible belief in the power of love. I was his desert rose, and he was my blue-eyed angel. He wanted to lose himself in books and own a bookshop. I wanted to have his babies and live the same way my momma had._

_We saved and skimped every penny we could. My allowance wasn’t much, but every dollar of it went into that fund. Marco did all he could, but construction was basically impossible to find once the winter started. I knew his life at home was bad, and that he mostly spent all his days in the library to run away from it all, but I think I never really understood how bad it was. My daddy worshipped the ground your mom and I walked on, and my mom was the sweetest lady in the entire neighborhood, so I admit that my 17-year-old self didn’t quite grasp the direness of his circumstances._

_As graduation neared, and all our hopes and dreams slowly became almost within our reach, Marco started to get antsy. It was as if his heart wanted to leave that life behind as fast as it could, but his consciousness weighed on him for leaving his brother and his dysfunctional family behind. It was on one day such as those that Marco came to school with a shiner as big as his face. Apparently, he’d come between his father’s fists and his unbothered mother, and his pretty face had taken the brunt. His little brother had seen it all. I think it was the first time I saw him cry, the first time I understood all that he dealt with and all that he had to contend with, and the kind of life he was leaving behind for his brother to deal with. I kept imagining a little boy with his signature dirty blond hair and baby blue eyes, standing in the way of a drunken pot-bellied man and felt like the world was much bigger than my trivial woes of young love and whimsical fancies. I felt like we were playing House, and it had just come crumbling down._

_That night, as I lay in bed crying, your momma came in and lay behind me. She hugged me tight and didn’t ask for an explanation, just provided a solid weight I could lean on, and I found myself telling her the whole tale. She went into her room and came back with everything she had saved to buy herself a car, and said that I knew in my heart what I should do, and that whatever I chose, she’ll support me. I went to school the next day with an envelope full of money and a heart full of dread, because even at 17, my heart knew that I loved that boy enough to want him to be the best version of himself, and my head knew that that version wasn’t going to be with me, not if he left his family behind. So, I stomped on my own dreams and gave him the money, and begged him to take his brother and go, start fresh, break the cycle of dysfunctionality and rotten despair. He was good man, even at 18, and he raged and begged and bartered, but at the end, I stood tall, resolute in my decision to love beyond myself. And so, my Marco went, and I learnt to survive without him, and somewhere along the way, I even learned to live. I loved again and again, and understood that he may have been my one but he was not my only._

_I bet you feel very much confused as to why I shared this story with you. You’re probably sitting there, brows notched in a peculiar frown wondering what kind of horseshit I shoveled your way, saying that “_ All you need is love _”, but that’s just the thing, my darling boy. To me, love was enough, because my love for him made me the best version of myself, one that looked beyond what she needed to want another person’s happiness._

_A week ago, a man came into my bookshop here in Florence. He was tall, with dirty blond hair that was graying at the edges, and those baby blues I would recognize in my dreams. It was like an incarnation from my memories, only more poised and mature, his cerulean eyes serene in a way my Marco’s never were. He introduced himself to me as James Wallace, the little brother I had indirectly helped escape, and he told me that he had a last will to deliver._

_My Marco had died a year prior. He’d lived a full life, had been able to provide for his little brother, and managed to put some of the money I gave him into an investment that paid off handsomely. He got married, had three beautiful children, and died peacefully in his home. Before his death, he’d tasked his brother to find me, wherever I may be, and deliver a message and a gift. The message said:_

> “Thank you for teaching me what it means to be a good person, and thank you for teaching me what it means to love. When I left you that day in the school parking lot 40 years ago, I promised you that one day, I’ll be able to pay you back, and today, I can say that I finally can. You’ll forgive me if I added some certain calculations to counter inflation and whatnot and invested some of it for old times’ sake, so the sum might feel different. I’ve always been better with words than numbers.
> 
> My Marla, My desert rose, if my memory of the little girl you were is even half the woman you managed to become, you will take this gift of mine as an offense, so my request for you is to change someone else’s life, the same way that you changed mine. Offer someone else the opportunity to choose instead of to endure, and know that you will always be the most unfathomable truth, a rose that bloomed in the desert.
> 
> Ever yours,
> 
> Marco J. Wallace”

_Magnus, my dear boy, I have raised you as my own since your momma passed, and I have always prided myself in knowing who you were, and despite not having seen you in a while, I can tell that lately, it feels like you don’t even know yourself. You’ve been running yourself ragged, working tirelessly, and while there is nothing wrong with working to achieve your dreams, I can’t help but feel as if you’re running from something, instead of running toward it._

_Anyone who tells you that money can’t buy happiness has not known a day of hardship in their life. Marco is proof enough of that, and while I have no illusions that you’re working to amass a mountain of wealth, I want you to take a breath and ask yourself: Can this money help you answer a question with a yes, instead of a no? Can this money in anyway help you reach this thing you’ve been running towards? Can this money help you find that home I so often spoke of? Can it make you the best version of yourself? If the answer is no on every account, then the task falls to your lot now. Change someone else’s life the way Marco wanted us to, but if it’s even a tiny yes, then change your own, Magnus. Be the brave soul I know deep down that you are._

_My gift to you, dear boy, my last hurrah isn’t the money itself, but more so my convoluted instructions for the way to acquire it. I’m assuming you’re reading this, sitting in some café in Florence, cursing my name for taking you away from your job, but I wanted you to take a moment, a finite drop in time. I wanted you to stop just going forward and to take a minute, in this little piece of heaven on Earth and breathe. It’s a bit underhanded to bring you out here on such sneaky maneuvers, but I feel in my heart that you need it, to take a moment and see more of the world than what you let yourself perceive, and who knows, maybe your Marco will be sitting at the table next to you, just waiting for you to look up._

_It’s a bit anticlimactic to end this letter on this, but like I said, I refuse to say goodbye. I am always with you, the way you have always been right by my side._

_And remember, dearest boy, that all you ever need is love._

_Marla._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are we feeling, guys? One last chapter to go. I honestly can't believe we're finally here! Let me know what you're thinking down below, while y'all wait for me to bring this story to a close;  
> As always, thank you for reading, and see you very soon :)  
> xoxo


	9. Chapter 9

From: Alec Lightwood <alightwood@gmail.com>

To: Magnus Bane <mbane@baneandroberts.com>

Message: Sent

Subject: Did I do something wrong?

Date: 12/22/2019 18:20

Magnus,

Is everything okay? Did I do something wrong? I’m trying to think of a reason why you’ve been glaringly absent in your correspondence, and I can’t help but think that I’ve fucked up somehow. If you want me to stop sending you emails or if you’ve moved on in some way, all you have to know is tell me. I never want to feel like I’m bothering you. I can’t help but be worried about it all.

Can you just, let me know, one way or the other. This isn’t like you, Magnus.

Alec.

* * *

Alec debated with himself for a few minutes, and then hit “Send”, putting himself in quite a precarious situation. If it was any other occasion, he would suffer in silence, making his peace with the fact that maybe, Magnus just didn’t want to talk to him anymore. If he was prone to overanalyzing stuff, and he could admit that he was afflicted heavily with this disease, he would be worried sick that something had happened to him. Luckily, he’d saved himself the hassle by asking Isabelle, who admitted that while Magnus hadn’t called in weeks, he still sent the occasional text, letting her know that he was extremely busy, and not to worry about him, as if such a thing were possible in Alec’s world.

Alec’s problem with this whole busy situation was the piece of paper that was currently digging a hole in his pants pocket, reminding him of what hasty decisions made in the haze of an emotional pep talk reduced him to. He’d booked the flight in a trance, unwilling to let himself overthink it and talk himself out of making this step, sure that three weeks were more than enough time for him to find out how Magnus was going to react to his gesture. Except that, for reasons unknown, Magnus had stopped all forms of communication, and now, the flight was two days out, and Alec had worked himself into a frenzy. The only reason he hadn’t canceled the whole endeavor and just stayed home, was that he’d already made the colossal mistake of telling Lena about it, and he had a feeling backtracking would put him in a world of trouble.

Telling Lena had been surprisingly anticlimactic. He’d sat her down and geared up for an inquisition when he told her that he needed to leave for New York for a few days. He did have to navigate an initial barrage of questions about whether he was going to stay long. _Just a few days_ …whether he would see Magnus, _Dear God he hoped so,_ -although he didn’t say it in as many words-…whether she could go with him, _Not this time, because he didn’t know how his business would go_ … whether he would get her a souvenir, _anything she wanted_ … but for the most part, she had just looked at him steadily, and then asked in a straightforward voice that made it sound like the most casual question on Earth “Are you going to show up at his office like that guy in _Two weeks’ notice_ and try to win him back?”

Naturally, Alec had been flabbergasted, and his very helpful daughter had seen his expression and ran with it “You know, when he tells her he wants her back in front of all those people and she doesn’t answer him, and then she has to follow him into the street and kiss him in the middle of the sidewalk, which was really cute and all, but extremely impractical if you ask me”

Two things had run through Alec’s mind then. The first was that his daughter’s repertoire of rom-com knowledge had expanded immensely since he had last heard of it, and he guessed that he had Isabelle to thank for it. The second was that he really _was_ a character in a romantic comedy at this point, making grand gestures and flying halfway across the world to prove his undying love, except that unlike those movies, Alec couldn’t bask in the certainty of his happy ending. In fact, if John Hughes could write and direct Alec’s life for the next few days as he went on this journey, he would sign up for that shit in a heartbeat. Magnus would be waiting for him, morosely pining as Alec was, and Alec would make an impassioned speech that made tears swim in his lover’s eyes, and then he would kiss Alec passionately, erasing the last few months of emotional pain and misery with one taste. Conveniently, this very public and very uncomfortable display of affection would happen somewhere crowded, _God knows why_ , and people would cheer for them when they finally came up for air. In reality, Alec was an anxious mess that had no idea what was going through Magnus’ head, and was having no fun at all imagining all the dreary possibilities. So there he was, hoping for a Christmas miracle to save him.

Before he was able to work himself up to another cycle of pointless worrying, a knock sounded on his door, and Simon put his hand through the gap to scowl at him playfully “Don’t you smell the heavenly deliciousness wafting from the kitchen? What on earth are you doing here not decorating Christmas cookies?”

Alec couldn’t help but laugh. Simon was always a cheerful guy, but the holidays always seemed to bring out his jovial side. He was basically bouncing off the walls these days. Putting him and Lena in one room was enough for Alec to catch a headache that lasted well into the night.

“What kind of cookies did you make?”, Alec asked, putting his phone to charge and following him out of the room.

“What kind of question is that? Like you could discriminate between Christmas cookies? They’re all magical”, Simon insisted, and Alec just sighed. Arguing with him about cookies could lead to some truly inane discussions. Alec would know. He made the mistake a few years ago, and had barely survived to tell the tale.

They reached the kitchen, and sure enough, the place smelled like the inside of a bakery, sugary sweetness clogging the air, and Christmas music played on the stereo like a picturesque scene. They’d put up the tree a few weeks ago, a monstrosity that Alec and Luke had had to lug up to the house. They’d decorated it together, everyone chiming in with different dispositions and unpacking the boxes from the storage room, jingles in the background like they were used to as kids, and Alec had spent half the night enjoying the time with his family, and the other half wondering what Magnus’ Christmas was shaping up to be. Did he get a tree? Who helped him put it up? Did he have traditions that made the holidays feel homey, or did he spend it alone? He couldn’t help the ache in his heart as he imagines his love spending what was supposed to be a family time alone in the searing chill of the city, watching the crowds on Fifth Avenue, and seeing all the pretty window displays, only to go back to an empty apartment. It had been the closest he’d come to breaking and giving him a call, but now that he had a game plan to win him back; he hadn’t wanted to mess with it. He dearly hoped that this would be the last year that Magnus had to spend Christmas alone, although if it were up to him, he would be by his side come Christmas night. The dream alone sent heat through his entire being, suffusing him with the warmth of possibility, and he found himself smiling a bit while icing cookies, dabbing Lena’s nose with cream that she dished right back. Isabelle was singing off key to “ _Baby, it’s cold outside_ ” while Luke was basically serenading their mother, whom he twirled around the kitchen floor.

Once all the cookies were iced, Alec remembered his email and made a beeline to his bedroom. The second he touched the screen of his phone, he found 10 missed call notifications from Magnus himself and had to sit on the side of his bed to settle his shaking knees. In the months since his departure, Magnus had never called him, not even as a mistaken butt dial. He tried to reason with himself, but 10 missed calls were too substantial even for his level of advanced bullshit to stick. They’d started twenty minutes ago, with the last one being barely a minute before he’d stepped in the room.

His heart started pounding in his chest, possibilities swirling in his head as he drummed up the courage to call back, when the phone started ringing in his hand. Magnus’ name flashed across the screen filling him with simultaneous panic and elation, and his internal struggle was so long that he almost let the phone stop ringing before he hit the button and brought it to his ear.

“Hello?”, he practically whispered, heart in his throat.

Nothing could’ve prepared him for the “Are you deaf, or are you just trying to kill me?” shouted down the line. Despite his utter confusion about it all, his lips curled up helplessly. He’d missed the sound of his voice.

“Magnus?”, he uttered in confusion.

“No, it’s the popsicle currently standing on the front door because he has more heart than sense and wanted to surprise your ass. I don’t even know why I bother. Honestly, who walks around without their phone nowadays, Alexander? Who does that? I can’t feel my freaking cheeks…”

Magnus was clearly working himself into a tizzy, and in the midst of the barrage of words that were currently coming out of him, Alec had stuck on two words only “Wait, the front door, as in _our_ front door? You’re here?”

The silence on the other side of the line was worrisome to the point that Alec had to check the screen to make sure the line hadn’t been broken, then Magnus heaved a weary sigh and just muttered “Open the door, Alexander”, and Alec could swear he heard him whisper “I’m in love with an idiot” as he hung up.

Alec skidded into the kitchen area like a bat out of hell, and everyone looked up at him questioningly.

“Magnus is here”, he said, barely able to get the words out. He moved through the house to get to the front door, leaving the lot of them shouting after him to elaborate on that, and explain himself. He pulled open the door and exhaled.

He looked… Well, he looked furious at him, but Alec was ignoring that in favor of all the little things that his eyes had longed to see. He was bundled up against the cold, hair sticking up every which way, like the hairdo had become familiar with the strain of fingers running through it. He had a red nose, and rosy cheeks from the cold, and round glasses were perched on his nose in the most adorable fashion. Even his disgruntled scrunched up face only added to the general splendor of him, and Alec almost fell to his knees. He looked like the most precious thing Alec had ever seen, and he wasn’t sure what his facial expression did, but Magnus just raised a finger and hissed “Don’t you dare smile at me like that. I’m mad at you”.

He hauled the tiny suitcase Alec hadn’t even noticed into the house, and closed the door, sighing in bliss at the warmth. After a few moments of just soaking up the moment, -his family seemed surprisingly keen on giving them some space-, Magnus opened his eyes, his irritation apparently chased away by the warmth, and said “Hi”

Alec couldn’t help it. Elation and happiness and an addictive swirl of euphoria were swirling inside him, and he just burst out laughing. “Hi”, he let out between chuckles, and Magnus joined him after a while.

“I’m sorry about that. I just had a whole thing planned, and as per usual, you made it all go awry”

“You could’ve called Isabelle, or better yet, actually rung the bell like a normal person”, Alec teased reaching forward to take the jacket Magnus was taking off.

“Like I said, I had plans”, he muttered.

Alec didn’t know why Magnus was here, didn’t even begin to let himself hope. He was accustomed to disappointment, so he wasn’t letting himself think beyond the facts he knew, and the facts were that Magnus Bane, the man he was utterly and desperately in love with, was right there, within arms’ reach, breathing the same air he was, and regardless of the causes or the consequences, Alec had missed him too much to do anything but reach forward, and wrap his arms around him. Magnus’ arms crushed him right back, the two of them strangling the breath out of each other, trying to inhale the other within themselves. Alec dropped his nose into the crook of Magnus’ neck and breathed in his intoxicating scent. He wanted to say so much, and yet he could’ve been content staying like that forever, just the two of them, clinging to each other.

Something clanged in the kitchen, followed by a murmuring that told him that his family really was trying to give them some privacy before they converged on Magnus. He seemed to sense the same thing, because he drew back and asked quietly “Everyone is home?”

Alec nodded, hands still clutching at Magnus’ arms, and Magnus looked around, as if familiarizing himself with the place again, and said, trepidation obvious in his tone “Can we go somewhere to talk first? I kind of want to clear something up before I say hello to everyone”

Alec just nodded again, and motioned for him to put his jacket back on before donning his own, and putting his boots on. They quietly slipped out the door, probably leaving the rest confused in their wake, and walked through the brisk air towards the winery.

Alec tried to get up the nerve to ask Magnus about the purpose of his visit several times along the way, but the words seemed stuck to the roof of his mouth. He suspected that Magnus’ “talk” was going to clear it up for him, so he just prayed for patience and walked ahead, leading the way to his office in the back and turning on the light.

After a few moments of awkward silence, Magnus started pacing the length of the room, twisting his hands. He eventually started talking “So, the box came, a few weeks ago”

Alec hadn’t expected the conversation to start off with that, but he got with the program quickly, leaning forward from his perch on the desk and asking “Did I get any guess right?”

Magnus cracked a smile at that, but went on “No, unfortunately. Well, sort of. I guess we both got a few guesses right”, he laughed, as if just now coming to that conclusion.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah... I mean, it was a letter, depicting a romantic love affair, though this one was nearly 40 years old”, he explained, and Alec was intrigued to say the least.

Magnus explained to him the story of Marla and Marco, of their young love and subsequent separation. Alec felt for the young couple. If he felt like he understood one thing in life, it was the hand of fate that was more powerful than your wishes and dreams. He found himself amazed by Marla’s selflessness, and her ability to put the boy she loved first. By the time Magnus reached the part of the brother coming to find her, Alec felt his heart hurt for people he had never met.

Magnus continued the tale “The brother didn’t just bring Marla a letter, Alec. He also brought back the money she had lent Marco all those years ago. She left it to me”, Magnus said in awe.

“That’s really special, Magnus. That money holds a very significant value to both of you, I’m sure”

“That’s the thing, though”, Magnus said, wide eyed, as if he still failed to believe the gift he’d been given even weeks later “Marco had invested the money. I got a million dollars, Alexander”

“Holy shit”, Alec whispered reverently, his heart jumping. “Are you serious?”

Magnus laughed deliriously “Trust me, I had to check the number at least five times before it was even able to pierce my brain”

They sat there in silence for a moment as Alec absorbed that piece of information, and then he said “Congratulations, Magnus. Do you have any plans about what to do with it?”

Magnus stopped pacing back and forth and stood in front of him, swallowing nervously. Alec could see him physically brace himself for something as he pushed his shoulders back and said “Well, I was hoping you could help me find some real estate in Florence”

His heart beating wildly in his chest, Alec wiped his sweaty palms on his thighs and stuttered out “What for?”

Magnus’ lips curled slightly at the edges and he said, in a tone that said that Alec was an idiot for failing to figure it out “Well, for my new office, of course”

The words were barely out of his mouth before Alec was gobbling them up, shutting the infuriating man in the most effective way he knew. He kissed him like a starved man at a feast, unable to comprehend anything beyond the elation that this could be it. This could really be it.

Magnus whimpered against his mouth before deepening the kiss, thrusting his fingers into Alec’s hair and bringing his head closer, his tongue and lips doing their best to turn Alec’s already frazzled brain to mush. Alec broke the kiss only enough to whisper against his lips “Tell me this is not a joke. Tell me you’re really staying” and Magnus smiled against him, his turned up lips the answer to Alec’s every prayer, the air by which to breathe “I’m staying”, he whispered back, accenting the words with sweet kisses and nose nuzzles.

Alec lost track of the concept of time as their lips reacquainted with each other, their tongues tangling passionately, until eventually, his joy broke their connection in the form of delirious infectious laughter. Soon enough, he and Magnus were laughing too hard to kiss, their heads pressed together, hands still roving over each other, a form of reassurance that they were really here, that this wasn’t a dream and that they weren’t going to wake up to empty sheets and heavy hearts.

“How did this happen?”, Alec asked, and Magnus told him that he knew what he wanted to do the minute he read Marla’s letter and received the money from her lawyer.

“The past few weeks have been exhausting. First, Maia and I had to figure out how we wanted to make this expansion work, so there were a lot of phone calls involved to figure out if we had the potential of making it here. Then, there were legal aspects to consider, co-managers to hire in order to keep the NY office from falling entirely on Maia’s shoulders, and licenses to acquire, not to mention all the hassle of creating a fund with Catarina. I’m sorry I ignored you. I just knew that the second I talked to you, I would blurt it out, and I was adamant on keeping it under wraps until I had it all figured out”

“You scared me, you know. I thought… I don’t know what I thought, honestly”.

“That I had moved on?”, Magnus said quietly, and Alec nodded slightly against him, unable to put the sinking sensation that had filled his gut into words.

“Don’t you get it by now? There is no moving on from you, Alexander. This is it. You’re it for me”

God, how long had he longed to hear those words? How long had he wanted to say them himself? His eyes burned a bit from the force of his emotions, and with a start, he remembered the piece of paper in his pocket, and said evenly “I want to show you something”.

He reached in and spread the paper on Magnus’ chest, forcing him to back up a smidge to read the printed flight reservation. Confused eyes lifted to pin him in place as Magnus’ brows notched a bit, and Alec anticipated the question he could see swimming in his eyes “I was coming to you. It appears that my aversion to being without you is bigger than my aversion to the city. I was coming to grovel and beg and barter for you to consider something, and hell, I didn’t even know what. I am willing to follow you to the ends of the earth if need be. I choose you right back, Magnus”

The piece of paper started shaking in Magnus’ hand before it fluttered to the floor as Magnus crushed him in a hug. He was basically shivering in Alec’s arms, and Alec just tightened his arms around him and held on.

“I love you, Alexander” was muffled in his shoulder, and as Alec echoed the sentiment, meaning it from the depth of his heart, he could feel the boulder he carried around for so long evaporate completely, the weight of it annihilated in the face of the utter relief and joy he was experiencing. The lack of it was staggering, but where Alec thought that he would float away without it, he found that he was anchored to the ground, centered by something much bigger than himself. He was anchored by love.

* * *

To say that the family was happy to see Magnus would be an understatement. He was squeezed to death by everyone, patted on the back until his insides were jostled and generally fussed about as if a single misstep would cause him to flee the country and run back to NY. He was pretty sure that at some point, he saw Lena stow his suitcase away so he wouldn’t find it.

He loved it. He loved them and the feeling of utter belonging he felt in their midst. Alexander had assured him that they would take his decision positively, but Magnus had still been nervous, namely of a little 8 year-old’s opinion. It was one thing to be a play buddy and a temporary guest for the summer, and it was entirely another to become a permanent fixture in her life, encroaching on her favorite person in the world.

When they’d made it back to the house, and he’d been tackled by her enthusiastic hello, she’d just looked behind him at her father and said “I had the wrong movie, dad. Magnus was the blonde girl from _The Holiday_ ”, and Alexander had just looked at Izzy and said “Thanks a lot, sis. I love having a daughter who only converses in romantic movie references”, and Isabelle had just shrugged like she had no idea what he was talking about.

Needless to say, his worry was pointless. Lena had been ecstatic to find out that he was staying for good, which brought up the other issue that they spent the entirety of dinner debating.

“You should just give in now, Magnus. You’re not going to win this one”, Clary said, bouncing a squirming Lucas on her knee.

“I can’t just live here, guys. Spending the summer is one thing, but you have your routine and all. I’ve already started looking into places in the city”, Magnus insisted, trying not to moan from how good the food was. Damn, he might have missed Maryse’s cooking more than Alexander himself.

“The city? Are you insane? We barely survived a moping Alec. Can you imagine what him not seeing you all the time will do to us? Think of our sanity, Magnus, for the love of God”, Simon basically bellowed, gesturing wildly in what Magnus considered a wildly entertaining Shakespearean portrayal of betrayal.

“Babe, maybe tone it down a bit”, Izzy muttered at him, and then turned her head to zero in on Magnus ominously “It’s a waste of resources”, she started and Alexander snorted, probably recalling that Magnus had more money than he knew what to do with at the moment.

“There’s so much space here, and if you live all the way in the city, you’ll have to spend half your time just commuting because you obviously have to come to dinner every night, and then you’ll be too tired and drowsy to drive back, so you’ll spend the night anyway, so the whole thing is pointless. Plus, you’re not a guest, you’re literally family”

Magnus felt his heart ache from their ready approval and unconditional acceptance of him. It was addicting, this feeling of hominess and contentment he was experiencing, to the point where he actually started considering the possibility of living at the villa, spending every night in Alexander’s arms, and maybe taking Lena to school on his way into the city every morning.

Jace turned to his brother, who had been unusually quiet throughout their squabbling, and pinned him with a look “Aren’t you going to say anything, Alec? Try to convince him or something?”

“I’m saving my case for later. I have my ways of making him agree”, he quipped and the entire table exploded in groans and disgusted sounds as Jace and Luke sent their napkins flying at Alec’s face “Come on, dude. Your kid is at the table” “That is too much information, Alec. Jesus Christ”

Magnus did his best to stifle his laughter, rubbing his hand over his mouth as Alec blushed bright red and stammered indignantly “I meant talking him into it, you perverts”

“Sure, dude. We’ll buy that”, Jace mumbled, and Alec volleyed the napkin back “Would you shut up?”

The discussion kind of broke apart after that, everyone turning the conversation into catching him up on what he’d missed while he’d been away, and Magnus listened diligently, aware of Alec’s hand settled on his thigh, a most welcome weight anchoring him to the world around him.

Later that night, as he and Alec retreated to the library for a glass of wine -it was too cold to use the patio-, Alec brought it up again. He was sitting down on the couch, Magnus’ cold feet in his lap as he massaged some warmth back into them. “So about you living here”, he started, his thumb pushing against the arch of Magnus’ foot and making him nearly moan in delight.

“You know I’m right, alexander. I can’t just move in”

“Why not? I want you here, everybody wants you here”

“We’re barely starting to find our normal. I just don’t want to rush anything”, Magnus argued, and Alec just looked at him steadily, love and affection shining in his eyes “We’ve done nothing by the rules so far, why start now? We create our own normal, we set our own pace. If that’s your only obstacle, then just forget about it”

Without waiting for Magnus’ response, he removed his feet from his lap, ignoring his affronted whine, and then scooted closer to him on the couch, threw an arm over him and ducked his head into the crook of Magnus’ neck. Tiny peppered kisses were strewn on the column of his neck, and Magnus felt chills spreading through him as Alexander’s husky timbre whispered in his ear “Come on. I want to fall asleep next to you. I want to kiss you awake every day. Don’t you want that? Didn’t it even cross your mid in the past few months?”

As a matter of fact, the fantasy had been Magnus’ sole companion for the past few months, tormenting him with dreams he thought would never become reality, but trying to express that was way beyond what his dazed brain could come up with, not when Alexander’s tongue had joined his lips, travelling across the lobe of his ear and wrecking him slowly and surely. “I thought you said that you would just try talking me into it?”, he croaked.

Alec’s lips curled around his shoulder, where they went to plant tiny kisses, moving the offending fabric of his shirt away for better access “Well, I am talking. I have talented lips. They can multitask”, he teased, his breath warming Magnus thoroughly.

“By the way”, Alec continued, still tormenting Magnus with his lips, and Magnus gave him a side-eye even as he tilted his head to give him more access “Seriously?”, he muttered.

Alec’s shoulders shook his breath puffing against Magnus as he asked “You talked earlier about some fund with Catarina? What was that about?”

It took Magnus an embarrassing amount of time to focus enough on the question to answer “Oh, we’re setting up a fund for families in need. The money needed for the office expansion didn’t make a dent in the million dollars, and well, Marco’s story was heartbreaking, so we’re setting up a fund. Cat was even talking of making it an actual foundation to help families with shelters and legal assistance. The second I proposed the idea, she was so excited about it, and basically ended up taking care of the whole thing, finding benefactors and all. I’m merely providing the initial funds to get the project started”

“Magnus, that’s…that’s incredible”

Magnus shrugged, uncomfortable with the praise. After all, the money wasn’t his, not technically. He added “They wanted me to change someone’s life, and I thought to myself, why not change plenty’s”

Alexander had stopped kissing his shoulder, and was just gazing at him with an eerie sort of focus. “What?”, Magnus asked, fidgeting a bit.

“Have I told you that I love you in the past hour?”, Alec said teasingly, and Magnus smiled. It was good to be home.

* * *

* * *

“Are you sure about this?”, Magnus started and Alec sighed.

“For the hundredth time, yes, I am. Why are you freaking out?”

“I don’t want you to get a tattoo just because I’m getting one”, Magnus continued, feeling weirdly anxious.

Alec lifted his head from the magazine he’d been perusing and arched a brow at his fiancé “I want to. You didn’t even want me to do it. I literally had to forcefully tag along”

“It’s not that I didn’t want you to do it”, Magnus reluctantly admitted, twisting his hands in his lap, hands that were promptly covered by Alexander’s as he squeezed them gently, and said “I know, baby. You’re just nervous. I get it. You’re not getting cold feet on me, are you?”, he teased, a tremor of laughter in his voice.

Magnus shook his head almost violently, peering into Alec’s eyes to make sure he was making his point clear “Never, I’m just antsy. There’s nothing I’m sure of more”

Alexander smiled, leaning forward to slot their lips together in a kiss, and humming gently against him “I know. I can’t wait for tomorrow”

“Me neither”, Magnus replied, feeling the excitement of the day to come overtake the nervousness.

The decision to tie the knot hadn’t been one that Alec and Magnus had put too much stock into. Like most things about their story, it had felt inevitable, a foregone conclusion that one day, Magnus and Alec were going to be husbands. It had started as a simple inquiry while lying in bed one night, as Magnus played with Alec’s hair while Alec read, his reading glasses perched on his nose like the sexy scholar he’d missed out on being, and Magnus felt a wild unnamable urge to share his name, to let the whole world know that they belonged together, so he’d just casually thrown the question out there “Do you want to get married someday?”

Alec hadn’t frowned or indicated that the question had startled him in anyway, merely turned the page and said, in the same even casual tone “Just say when and where, and I’ll be there with bells on”

For most people, the interaction would’ve sounded like a joke between partners, but Magnus knew that Alec had meant every word, so they’d actually decided on the when and the where, and there they were, a few months later, almost at their wedding day.

But first, Magnus had wanted to keep the memory of the circumstances that led them to each other, and then later brought them back together, alive. He never thought that Alexander would want to get a tattoo, but the second he’d told him the idea, his fiancé had asked to join him.

“Stop fidgeting, Magnus”, Alec muttered, his head buried in that magazine again, looking like he had no care in the world. Magnus wanted to be annoyed at him, but he couldn’t, because he _was_ fidgeting, and if he were Alec, he would be annoyed as well. There was just this restlessness under his skin, and he didn’t know where it came from, nor how to dispel it.

When his twitch became even more pronounced, Alexander put the magazine down with a sigh, then turned to him, giving him his full attention, and Magnus found that just those twin flames of ember on him managed to make him less anxious. It was utterly ridiculous how smitten he was, but it was also reassuring in a way. There was calm in the never changing intensity of his feelings for Alexander. They made him truly understand that this was different, unique, a once in a lifetime occurrence, this love he harbored for this man.

“What’s happening in that beautiful head of yours?”, Alec teased, skimming his thumb over Magnus’ cheek and leaving goosebumps in his wake.

“Flatterer”, Magnus replied, a smile curling his lips.

“Subtle”, Alec volleyed back.

“I don’t know”, he finally uttered with a sigh. “I just have a weird feeling about this, that’s all”

Alexander looked at him for so long Magnus wondered if he was going to answer at all, and then took both his cold hands in his, holding them gently but firmly, and stated “You know that nothing is going to go wrong, right? You can stop waiting for the other shoe to drop. You’re stuck with me for life”

Magnus’ heart leapt a bit at the words, because he hadn’t really been thinking of that, but he couldn’t deny that his subconscious tended to be an awfully worried son of a bitch.

Alec continued before Magnus could interject “If anyone understands being wary of happiness, it’s me, but you know how I know everything is going to be alright?”

At his hesitant nod, Alec spoke, his lips unfurled in a dazzling smile “Because you’re right here with me, and when I look at you, I feel complete. Anything the world throws at me, I can take. I already have everything I need from it. The world has no bargaining chips left”

Magnus’ heart felt like it was floating. It was so full that his chest ached, too tight to bear it. He felt Alexander’s words reverberate in his soul, their truth like a warm blanket on a cold night, chasing away the chill and leaving nothing but certainty in their trail. His anxiousness vanished in a haze, and it wasn’t necessarily because he’d needed to hear those words from him. He knew in his soul that Alec loved him, but it was more the reassurance that they were on the same boat, the intensity of their feelings one, both completely lost in each other with no hope, nor urge to emerge.

He smiled at that face that often graced his dreams and shared his own little truth “I think I fell in love you the first time I saw you. You were walking out of the vineyard, the sun shining around you like a halo, and the first thought I had about you”, he stopped then laughed “Okay, the first thought I had was that you could be my new cowboy kink”, and Alec laughed so hard that other patrons at the tattoo parlor looked at them curiously. He smiled and continued “My second thought though, was that you felt like peace. I never had that before you. My head was always churning and moving non-stop, and I looked at you, and everything else fell away in a haze. I think I’ve been falling since”

Alexander’s eyes looked suspiciously shiny under the fluorescent lights, but he just smiled and cupped Magnus’ cheek and whispered reverently “You know what I was thinking the other day? I was thinking about Shahrazad, and I realized that like Shahryar, you warmed my cold fucking heart night after night on our patio, every single time leaving me aching for more of you, more stories and more dreams, and I just kept coming back because the story was never finished, even when I promised myself that I wouldn’t let myself fall deep. I fell for you in tiny increments, over the course of those evenings, and I don’t ever want to go back”

His heart nearly splitting open in his chest, Magnus smiled and boasted “I beat you to it”

“Was it a competition?”, Alec teased, wiping away the little teardrop that Magnus hadn’t even felt drop.

“No, but I still win”, he whispered in glee, and Alexander chuckled, his whole frame shaking.

“I love you, Magnus”, he uttered.

“I love you, Alexander”, Magnus echoed as the receptionist called their names. They went in, hand in hand, to make a first pact on their skin, before they made another one tomorrow.

The house was in an uproar. Well, a merry uproar, but an uproar nonetheless. If it weren’t enough that Lena had found it necessary to dance around in her flower girl dress and twirl Madzie around, singing every lullaby under the sun to Lucas, who felt the need to show his enthusiasm in squeals and garbled baby noises, Maryse was sniffling while trying to fix everyone’s clothing and make sure every lock of hair was exactly in its right spot.

It was possibly the utter chaos around him that made Alec feel calm, like the eye of a hurricane. He watched the scene around him with morbid fascination, seeing the utter joy on every single one of the faces surrounding him. A hand on his shoulder startled him out of his perusal, and he looked up to see Jace looking down at him with a deliriously happy smile “You going to be okay, buddy?”

Alec nodded at his brother, feeling the slight sting around his heart, where a bandage was covering the words that he and Magnus had tattooed over their hearts last night. The sting of pain centered him somehow, and he told his brother “Yeah, I’m happy”

“You don’t have to sound so surprised, you know”, Simon quipped coming up on his other side, and Alec laughed. “It’s been a long time coming, you know”

“What, me getting married?”, Alec asked in confusion.

“No, you being happy”, Simon teased, bumping shoulders with him.

“Where’s Magnus?”, Jace asked, his eye flitting to his son, who was cackling in happiness as Lena and Madzie flit around him like forest sprites.

“Getting ready, I suppose. Maia and Catarina forbid me from seeing him this morning”, he sulked, perfectly aware that he sounded like a petulant child.

The guys laughed, and gave him a pitying glance “it’s okay, booboo. He’ll be here in no time”, Simon quipped, earning himself an elbow to the side.

Isabelle appeared in the door that led to the patio and clapped her hands. She and Clary had taken it upon themselves to organize the entire thing. They were surprisingly efficient at wedding planning, and Luke had let them know that he would be willing to invest if they ever decided to make a venture out of it.

“Alright, places everyone. We’re ready to go”, Isabelle yelled like a drill sergeant, and everyone moved to take their place like a well-rehearsed dance.

Alec didn’t remember the walk to take his place by the flower gazebo that had been set up on the stone floor of their infamous patio, didn’t remember Luke patting him on the back from his perch as officiant for the ceremony, didn’t let his eyes feast on the backdrop of the hills at their backs, the earth that had embraced their love story like a lover, didn’t pay much heed to his brother and best friend standing by his side as groomsmen, only aware of the doors that were still empty, and that upon the start of an instrumental version of the Beatles’ “I wanna hold your hand” _naturally_ , were filled with his daughter first, who happily threw rose petals around, happy as a clam, followed by his sister-in-law who held Lucas in her hands, their tiny little ring bearer. The ooh and aww of their guests were lost on him as he felt the anticipation grow, as Catarina came down the aisle, clad in a beautiful champagne dress, designed by his sister. Maia followed her in the same fashion, winking at him in camaraderie as she took her place across from them, and then there he was, beautiful radiant jewel that shined even in the darkest days, Maryse’s hand in the crook of his arm as she walked him down the aisle. There were music and people smiling through their tears, but all Alexander was capable of conceiving right then was the look in Magnus’ eyes as he moved closer to him, closer to the rest of their lives. He had never known it was possible to be looked at with so much love, never knew an expression to be so meaningful, but it was. It was everything Alec could tell was reflected in his own eyes, in the tremor of his hand as he reached out to take Magnus’ hand in his, giving his mother a kiss on the cheek as she took her seat.

As if feeling the enormity of his feelings, Magnus squeezed his hand gently, and mouthed “I love you” as they took their places, and the guests settled into their seats.

Alec had thought about this moment ever since he and Magnus decided to take the marriage step, and if he were completely honest with himself, he’d entertained the fantasy of it long before that. He’d considered every scenario, every single possible way the moment would overwhelm him, how he would cry as he told Magnus and everyone he cared about how much he loved this man, and how he couldn’t wait to share the rest of his life with him, but right then, he found that none of it really mattered. As far as he and Magnus were concerned, they had been promised to each other long before this, and he considered his vows to be the moments where he proved to Magnus that he loved him every single day. This was a formality, one that was necessary for the world to witness, but a formality nonetheless. His most sacred vow was already tattooed on his heart, a little inscription of “All you need is love”, written in Marla’s handwriting, an eternal memory for the way she had changed their lives and led them to each other, a cosmic “thank you” to the universe for bringing Magnus into his life.

As he slid the ring onto his husband’s finger, and felt his own band settle against his, he couldn’t help the smile on his face. What a wondrous joy it was to be exactly where you ought to be!

The End ( _Or is it?_ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys made it! Woohoo!  
> Thank you thank you thank you, for your comments and your support and your trust, in me and this story.  
> Because I never learnt to do anything in moderation, I ended up writing two epilogues, and well, I'm not keeping the second one to myself, so read on for another glimpse into the future. I hope you enjoyed yourselves on this journey, and see you on the next adventure :)  
> xoxo


	10. Extended epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Welcome to the extended epilogue of Blankets, jam & other metaphors for love. This takes place fairly 4 years after the last chapter. Enjoy <3

Magnus groaned as hands shook him from a deep slumber. His muscles were sore and his every bone ached. The shaking didn’t stop, and he was sure he mumbled something about stopping, when a whiny voice filtered into his skull “But Daddy, you promised you’d go birdwatching with me today”

Magnus cracked his eyelids open at that, trying to wipe the cobwebs of sleep away as he turned over to see those green eyes he loved so much peer at him in lethal puppy dog fashion.

“What time is it?”, he asked groggily, noting the bright sunlight filtering through the window, and the empty sheets next to him.

Lena looked at the bedside table and stated “A little over eleven”

He never slept this late, not because he didn’t want to, mind you, but because Eleven o’clock in their household was practically half the day over and done with.

“Dad and grandma said to let you sleep”, Lena continued, and now that she mentioned it, he did recall Alexander kissing his forehead and telling him that he was leaving for his meeting, before urging him to go back to sleep, “but I wanted to go before lunch, and you said you’d go with me”

At 12 years-old, getting Lena to include him or Alexander in any activity was already becoming a hardship, her teenage mood swings letting themselves be known in a tendency to do everything on her own, unescorted by her parents, so when she’d invited him to tag along with her, Magnus had jumped at the opportunity.

“Alright, let me get a quick shower in, and then we’ll go”, he said, throwing his legs off the side of the bed, and feeling every bone in his body creak. That’s what he got for working into the wee hours of the night, but he had a deadline coming up, and the client had changed what he wanted at the last minute, so the entire team had scrambled to get everything out in time. It had been brutal, but they’d made it, and now he got to enjoy a few weeks off to recuperate.

After a quick shower that went a long way towards making him human, Magnus got dressed and left their cabin, making towards the main house. They’d moved into the place a few years ago, when Alexander had wanted them to have a bit more privacy than the main house had to offer. They still had meals together as a family, but Magnus had to admit that it was nice as well, retreating every night as a tiny family of four, clad in their little bubble, getting their own time with the girls without any distractions.

He reached the doorway and could hear Maryse hum something from the kitchen, apparently singing to someone who giggled accordingly. Magnus could feel his lips curl up at the joyful sound.

“Good morning”, he said as he reached the doorway, and his mother-in-law turned to smile at him, standing among her usual state of disarray in the kitchen.

Zoey squealed from her high chair, her curls bouncing around her face like a halo as she reached for him “Daddy”

Magnus got her out of her makeshift prison, propping her on his hip as he took the mug of coffee Maryse offered him with a quick thank you.

He looked at Zoey, her warm brown eyes peering up at him in wonder as she played with the collar of his shirt, her usual shyness taking over her enthusiastic hello.

Alexander often told him that raising Zoey wasn’t a choice. It was destiny. She’d been the result of plenty of long nights and a decision to adopt. It was their little way of changing someone’s life, providing them with the love and care they needed to grow into their own, and the second Zoey had been put into their arms, Magnus knew that she was meant to be theirs. If they had handpicked a person to be more different than Lena though, they still wouldn’t have gotten it so right. The two girls were completely apart both in temperament, and in attitude. Lena was the trooper, the boisterous ball of energy that brightened their days with her effervescence for life, whereas Zoey was their old soul, the observant quiet one, who took in the world around her with a critical eye that was years beyond her age. She reminded him of Alec on most days, the one that despite being the youngest, always had an eye on her sister, keeping her from tumbling into trenches and muddy pools.

“Thanks for taking care of her this morning, Mom”

Maryse tsked “Since when do you have to thank me for stuff like that? You were basically dead on your feet last night”. She moved past him and patted him on the shoulder, pinching Zoey’s cheek and making her giggle “That’s what family’s for, Magnus”

It never failed to astound him, how different his life was now from how it had been a few years ago. If you’d told him that by the time he was in his early thirties, he’d be married to the man of his dreams, settled with two beautiful children, living in Italy of all places, Magnus would have probably asked you what kind of weed you’d been smoking, and then asked if he could join you. But there he was, happier than any person had a right to be, aware that he was a man blessed and thankful every single day for that blessing.

“Want to go with your sister and me to see the birds?”, he asked Zoey, trying to jostle her a bit in her perch. At three years old, she was getting a bit too heavy to carry around for long, but he’ll be damned if he let that show.

“Can I sing to the birdies?”, she asked in her sweet little voice, peering up at him like he would ever be able to say no to her. Alexander often teased him about how easily he gave in to the girls’ demands, but in all honesty, once they focused their precious eyes at him, Magnus’ heart couldn’t fathom seeing them fill with tears. He’d take the ribbing for being a softie any day.

“Yep. You can sing your heart out”, he conceded, and Lena whined from where she was putting her shoes on. “She’s going to scare them away and I won’t be able to sketch, then”

“What’s the rule, Len?”, he chided, and she rolled her eyes, though he could swear he saw her lips twitch a bit “No man left behind”

“That’s the spirit”. He put Zoey on the floor, and pushed her to her sister “Help her put on her shoes, please”

“Come on, Zoey”. Lena motioned to her sister, asking her which color she wanted to wear today, and helping her diligently.

Magnus’ phone beeped in his pocket, and he fished it out to see a message from Maia:

> _Your suits are here BTW, and I think I hate you a little. You and your husband aren’t allowed to look hotter than me on my wedding day, Magnus. You better figure out how to fix that before you get to New York. A dip in the fermentation tank wouldn’t go amiss. Just saying :)_

He snorted at her theatrics and replied, jokingly telling her that the kiddie food splatter and dark circles under his eyes were going to help with that, but that he made no promises.

Apparently, hiring a co-manager to help Maia with the day to day operations in the NY office had been a wise call on more than one front. Bat and Maia had clicked immediately, and now, four years later, they had finally found the time in their crazy schedules to tie the knot. Magnus couldn’t be happier for his best friend, although he was a bit nervous about the wedding.

It had been Alexander’s idea to go. Magnus would’ve been content going alone to attend the ceremony, but Alexander had insisted that it was high time he made peace with the city. After all, he’d been ready for years. They were making a family vacation out of it, and well, if you needed to know the level of enthusiasm about that, all you needed to do was sit by Lena when the trip was mentioned. She basically vibrated like a faulty car radiator, so I guess you could say that she was excited!

They walked together through the village, making their way to Lena’s little birdwatching station, a shaded area on top of the hill, where she could sketch the wildlife to her heart’s desire. She got better every day, especially with Clary mentoring her on technique frequently. They sat in the shade of a big oak, Magnus just relishing the summer breeze while Zoey sat a few feet away in the grass, her tiny feet crossed as she sang along to the birds, engaging in a conversation only she and probably they could understand.

Lena settled next to him, her back against the tree trunk as she got her sketchpad out and readied to get in the zone. Multiple tries taught him not to try starting conversation with her at the moment. He was just glad to tag along. One day soon, she would grow too old to hang out with her parents, too cool to bother including him in her life, and Magnus was counting these little moments like the gems they were.

He still found it hard to believe some days that she had accepted him as her father. In fact, he could admit that the day she’d nonchalantly asked if she could start calling him dad, so that Zoey wouldn’t get confused, he’d cried like a baby in Alexander’s arms, beyond humbled by the pure innocent request.

A squeal broke him of the memory, and he looked at Zoey to see her waving excitedly at Alec’s tall figure, who was hiking up the hill towards them, still in his slacks and white shirt. He’d taken off his tie and rolled up the sleeves, the picture of utter relaxed elegance, and Magnus was as ever stuck on how lucky he was to have him. That gorgeous specimen was his husband, _his_ Husband. Damn, he’d won at life!

He reached them, stopping by Zoey to pepper her face with kisses as she giggled in delight. For some reason, she bloomed around him. She was still their shy little girl, but Magnus had a theory that she recognized a kindred spirit in his quiet nature. Leaving her to her nature song, he walked towards them, and dropped a kiss in Lena’s hair, who mumbled a quick “Hey, daddy”, already consumed by her art, and then he came close for his hello kiss, a chaste affair that lasted longer as their lips clung to each other.

“How are you feeling this morning?”, Alexander asked as he dropped to the ground and settled between Magnus’ legs, dropping his head on Magnus’ chest and looking out at the scenery. Magnus grimaced at the treatment his poor clothes were getting, but was loathe to move him from the position, wrapping his arms around Alec’s shoulders.

“Good, I feel human again”, Magnus answered, dropping a kiss in his husband’s messy hair. It never tamed. Magnus loved it. “How did your meeting go?”

“Great. The guys were impressed with the brand. I think we’re signing the contract next week”

“Congratulations, baby. I can’t wait to buy it next time we’re in Rome”, Magnus gushed, and Alec laughed “Well, I had an incredible marketing team. They spread the word and all”

“Flatterer”, Magnus muttered, feeling his cheeks warm with the compliment.

Alexander looked over at Lena’s drawing and saw that she was basically sketching her sister, cross-legged in the grass, arm outstretched to the heavens as she called the birds, her wild curls in every direction. The sketch was stunning, and Alec asked teasingly “I thought you were sketching the wildlife, Bug”

“Well, since she insists on becoming part of the wildlife with the screeching, I thought, why not”, Lena quipped, her lips curling up at the edges.

Magnus couldn’t help it. He burst out laughing, Alec joining in “It’s true, you know. I just had to follow her voice to find you guys”, he said and Magnus laughed harder, watching Zoey turn to look at them in confusion, as if annoyed that they were interrupting her ballad.

“You’re making the birdies fly away, daddy”, she sulked, and even Lena started shaking from holding in her laughter, then. As they tried to control their chuckles, Zoey started singing again, louder as if to hide the sound of their laughter. God, he loved his life!

The End ( _For real this time_ )

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think, guys <3  
> See you when I see you ;)  
> xoxo


End file.
